(i)'m sitting right next to you in English class
and i (can) smell the cologne i memorized for six months
(like) warm cinnamon bread and   air
it's specifically (you)
and (i) keep dreaming of you
(just) when i smell that
and i absolutely (can't) forget it
can you please forget about me, (love)?
(you) don't deserve the horrid memories.

there are sheets of paper lying scattered around my room
they are to you
the lines are filled with words untold and
things i could never tell you with a straight face
it's like i took a blade and cut up my heart into
thin enough slices to read
the black pen is blotched and splattered
i couldn't stop my hand from shaking
there is one letter for every day of the past week
i'm tempted to leave them around
see if you find them or not
see if you get the hint that you are the cause of things
i don't feel anything after i'm done writing
i'm done with it
i have spilled my blood too many times to count
i drink a fine wine called bleach to get rid of the taste of you

the sun seemed warm today
kind of like how you seemed warm
the grass was cold and brown
i hope it isn't totally dead
the trees wilted when i walked under them
i even made the plants sad
things aren't the same anymore
im sad
somethings missing
in the snapchats i wanted to send you
in the letters i wanted to give you
in the unwritten words i wanted to write for you
somethings different
and i don't know whether or not
it's good or bad

maybe it is simply best to walk through a day half asleep
run a hand through your hair and a finger over your cheeks
stare blankly at the teacher and pretend to listen
act like nothing's wrong and fake a laugh that bubbles
feign a bright smile to make people happy
hope nobody sees your deadened eyes and waning mood
don't tell them you aren't happy at all
that bruises are lining your legs again and tears stain your pillow
don't tell them you aren't happy
that you don't have as strong of a will to live anymore
that your calorie intake is slimming because
you
just
aren't
hungry anymore.
don't tell them you aren't happy

My mind tells me things are wrong with this world
That I belong somewhere else
In a universe where love is always blind
And love is always kind
I'm experiencing a case of bad
Deja vu
In my dreams
I see you almost every night
And wake up screaming into my pillow
I can't bear to see your face haunt my sleep as well
It only reminds me of how inferior
I was to you
Did you finally draw away because
You saw me how I see myself?