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Claire E Aug 2013
Learning you is like learning a new language
You're confusing as ****
Your words are like a foreign language to me
And this is a language google translate can't even help me decipher
I tell you I don't understand
You repeat them
I still don't understand
Maybe if you speak slower I'll understand
No, I still don't understand
Maybe if you write it out for me I'll understand
No, I'm still lost  
But then I realize
It's not the words I don't understand
It's where they're coming from
And that
Is going to take a lot ******* longer to figure out
Claire E Aug 2013
Left with jumbled thoughts
Trees rustle; all I hear are
These jumbled, sad thoughts

Left with teary eyes
Drinking tea but all I taste
Are these salty tears

Left with concealed scars
Watching tv; all I see
Are these ugly scars

Left feeling nothing
I hug myself but I feel
A shell of a girl
Claire E Aug 2013
Lips like morphine drip
They numb me and I want more
Please feed my addiction

Skin like alabaster
Touch me with your fluid skin
Quench my thirst for you

Eyes like the night sky
Star filled beneath their darkness
Fill my black holes too
Claire E Aug 2013
If you want to die
Just look at old photographs
Each photo will leave a stab wound deeper than a knife ever could
And these wounds won't heal
And the longer you look the more painful they become
And slowly but surely
You'll die inside
Claire E Aug 2013
I went into my old bedroom today
Old pictures of us still hang from the pink walls
The one of us all dressed up as hippies with our flowy dresses and flowers in our hair
The one of us in the photo booth at the arcade where we would waste our Friday nights  
The one of us where you have that black eye from a baseball to the face
The one of us at summer camp making friendship bracelets which I've kept all these years  
The one us skiing together with our snow pants and rosy cheeks
The one of us at softball practice in our grass stained uniforms
The one us swimming in the lake some summers ago
The one of us sleeping in a bathtub because all the beds were occupied
The one of us playing foosball in our pj's while on vacation that one winter
I stared at them for what seemed like hours
Reliving the memory of each photo
And then I had an urge to rip them all down
To tear them from those pink walls and douse them in gasoline
Cause they left me yearning and wistful
They represent a time and a place I want back
A me I want back
A friendship I want back
You were an irreplaceable friend
To look back on it is bittersweet
Part of me looks back fondly at it all
We shared so many moments together it's hard to pick a favorite  
We chased the unknown together like storm chasers in the scariest of weather 
I can't quite put into words how much you meant (mean) to me
And I will never forget you, even if I tried
Then there is the other part of me
The part of me that is left with this insurmountable emptiness
This longing for something that is so far gone
Because I know that is a time and a place I will never get back
That is a me I will never get back
That is a friendship I will never get back
And the realization that time travel does not exist  
Is the most sorrowful thing of all
Claire E Aug 2013
I kissed you
I kissed you and I liked it
We held each others gaze and everything else was a haze
You pulled me in and grabbed my chin
Our lips met and my palms began to sweat
Our tongues darted and the butterflies started
Your hands roamed and I moaned
You whispered "I love you" and I knew it was true
Yeah I kissed you
And I liked it
*A lot
Claire E Aug 2013
We were on vacation
It was a warm July night
You burst through the door in a drunken rage
Slurring your words of anger
And then you hit her
And you hit her
And you hit her
Over
And over
And over again
And I watched
And I watched
And I watched
I did nothing
I watched the life fade from her face
I watched the light in her eyes burn out
I watched the tears pour down her face
And I did nothing
I watched her body curl up like a helpless child
I watched as her lips pleaded with you
I watched as you bruised her body black and blue
And I did nothing
I watched her kick and flail in desperation
I watched you grip her wrists so tight I thought they'd break in half like twigs
I watched as you yelled that she was worthless and out of control (ironic, really)
And I did nothing
I watched as your fists finally grew tired
I watched her run upstairs to escape your rath
I watched as she rocked herself to sleep, balling her eyes out, broke down and depleted
And I did nothing.
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