i'm bored and everything aches
in a dangerous way
like i could possibly make terrible decisions
just to fill the empty gaps between my fingers

I don't want to be a cigarette,
something to make you feel good
for a short time;
burning bright for a moment until you
crush me under your foot and walk
away.

For you, I want to be a drug.
Something you'd **** for,
something that makes you desperate.
Something that you don't just inhale, but crave.

Something you love,
even if it might be the death of you

Snow melts at her feet,
her words make flowers grow.
She is the taste of spring water,
she is the smell of mountain air.

Her eyes are the color of rich soil
and towering trees,
and with one sharp glance she can silence the loud,
boisterous men who admire her beauty
without permission.

She looks only to the boy who hears music in her laughter,
who swears she is more beautiful than the sun rising in the east.

The boy with clear eyes and lungs full of moonlight.

you are my morning prayer,
he tells her.

you are my evening sky,
she whispers into the
curve of his smile.

And there is not one without the other.
They are two halves of a whole.

She wants to whisper secrets into his ear late at night
and tell him that if beauty was measured in inches
he’d go on for miles and miles

She would tell him that it’s okay to be bad sometimes
a certain darkness is needed to see the stars
she would whisper
and you can’t shine bright unless there’s
darkness too

She would tell him not to waste his words
and exhaust his mind thinking of someone that
doesn’t see the whole ocean in his eyes

If she could sleep a night by his side
she would tell him that he’s most lovely at night
when he’s scared and lonely
when nothing seems real but the darkness
outside his window

She would lift his sleeves and count his scars
to see how many times he needed her
how many times she wasn’t there

She would kiss him softly and whisper
that she will never let him hurt  
again

we loved the music loud
we screamed out of open windows
when we kissed the stars exploded and I couldn't hear anything at all
and i told you to drive faster

I felt like my lungs were made of thunder and each breath I took
was a lighting flash inside my chest

a storm sputtered from my lips as I shouted into the darkness
and told you to turn up the music
so my thundering heartbeat could find a rhythm

I wanted to love you with the volume on high
I wanted to scream into the shadows with you
and drive fast without looking back

I wanted us to burn bright long after we died out

midnight was hours ago and i don't know if i'm tired
or if i'm just empty of everything
my feet are cold and i'm sitting on your bed
closing my eyes because my head feels like concrete
and the air feels thick  

i open my eyes and watch you blow smoke towards me
it swirls around and the air feels stretched and pulled
between the two of us

i want to crawl under the covers but i can't stop looking at you
i'm new at this
i think i might be a terrible person
is this what it's like to be young?

you lean forward and we're going to kiss
i don't think it means anything
but still, i like the taste of smoke on your tongue
and my whole chest hurts when we stop

and later, when i'm home
i sit under the water in the shower and cry because
it feels like my skin is on fire where your lips touched me
and my stomach feels tight and knotted
and i can still feel your fingers brushing my hair

i crawl in bed and wonder why i want to be
with you so badly

is this what it's like to be young?