I'm not ok
I'm freaking out
I can't think of anyone else
The inside of my skin
is being carved
and etched
curls of skin and blood
falling everywhere

and how am i supposed to treat others?

the ice on the tips of my fingers gets longer
my brain engages
over
and
over
I just can't get it to melt
so i put it in front of the heater
and give up on the choices i make
that effect nothing

Does anyone know what this pain is?
This great cloud covering me
I can feel it eating me from the inside out
tearing at my soul
breaking the fibers of my harmony
one by one as the weather turns cold

and i don't know what to do about it
I have done everything
and now it is about to snap me

I give up
please
take me life
please
give me any... any feeling left
because I am lost

The house is all the same color. Cream
in the hot chocolate with no caffeine to stay awake. Brown
is the color of busy hair rushing, seems like a mess on the bed. Red
is the christmas decorations covering all the fake trees and cold nasty snow. Blue
is my heart as stone cold and unfeeling with their terrible ugly glances and snippy comments. Cream
would be in the coffee i wish i had now.

i think i'm done
no more pictures on napkins
Do not try to hold on
or kiss my cheeks...

i do not want you anymore
i think i'm done
with your silly mistakes
your silly expressions

i think i'm done

at the door they stand
for each one of us
blood dripping from their face
the negative slowly rolling,
dripping down their tongue
bruises from a belt on their side
feet bound and hands twisted

do you stand and look at them only?
do you feel hurt for them?
for that part of you that is standing in the doorway
do you bring them in and help them?
or are they beyond your help and they sit and weep

or do you take out your tongue and lash them
do you know they are not good enough for your home?
do you take your knife and slit into their wrists?
call them names and make fun of their weight

You are standing in your door.
what would you do?

You know... sitting can become very tiresome
and boring.
You sit in the car,
you sit on couches,
you sit on tigers,
on houses,
in desks,
on the floor, in tire shops, at school, at home, at Ally's house,
on computers, at computers, by computers, next to computers, in computers,
at movie theaters...
i just can't name them all.

I've been sitting all weekend... and it's pretty boring and tiresome...

I don't understand why people sit down to take a rest... I'd rather lay on the floor and look
up at the big white
puffs of cotton candy floating through the
silent air.