I knew it.
I swear I did.
From the moment you expressed your lack of interest for anything having to do with romance.
I’m not quite sure what I knew,
But I KNEW.
Maybe it was the fact that I would be happy memorizing the curves of your mouth by tracing your lips with my fingers in the dark.

Remember when you said that bit about not actually being hungry,
You just wanted flavors in your mouth.
There’s something endearing about the fact that we've fallen into an unconventional routine.
Perhaps because in traditional relationships it’s something people fear.

The casualty with which we regard the fact that though we have yet to meet,
Our lives will soon intersect indefinitely.
As if it were normal.
As if we care.

I’m far too susceptible to the way you seem to blink in slow motion
when you’re overdue for a good night’s sleep.
My favorite place to be is with you in my daydreams,
Thinking about things that could soon be reality.
Everyone and everything appears dull compared to way your eyes glimmer.

Have I told you that I adore?

that little facebook notification popped up on my phone.
the one that means someone has sent you a message.
you thanked me for all I'd taught you.
five years?
had we really know each other that long?
all that time
and you saved the worst parts for last.
that or your best parts were a mask.

don't read too much into the fact that I didn't reply.
I forgive you.

This year I won't bash Valentine's.
Not even when I check my Facebook
and see that whogivesashit just got engaged.

I won't make gagging noises
when I see couples engaging in acts of PDA.

This year I won't be a cynic
because I too have a Valentine.

the manifestation of love
as she liked to call it.

if you lost you voice
would they be able to see it?
or have you given the words
all the responsibility?

can you touch the object of your affection
with something other than your hands?
or are sensations mere physical interactions to you?

have you forgotten what it was like
*before you had your first kiss?

most of the time I don't even want to like people
and I'm not completely sure why.

don't talk to me.
go away.
leave me alone.

....................................

I didn't mean it.
come back.
I need you.

chug.chug.chug.
chug to remember.
chug to forget.
chug it when in need of company.
chug it because no one is around.
chug to disappear.
chug it cause you're bored
in order to make things interesting.
chug when it seems like everyone
is having more fun than you.
Chug to feel warm.
Chug to make it better.
chug because it tastes good.
chug it because it doesn't.
chug it to speed up time
or slow it down.
chug.chug.chug.
don't let it rest on your tongue.