Past meadows of dewy green
Far above the tree line
On mountains peaked
With snow

A marmot comes out
To drink from
Rivulets of a melted
Glacier.

Walkers trek
Up the Alpine
Trails, past the
Lodges.

They passed a country
That belongs to another
World, another century,
Where fairytales were born, to get there.

But the marmot neither knows,
Or cares, as he drinks, drenched
In a dazzling light, Reflected
Off ****** snow.

I saw him as he stood
On a rock, surveying the
Humans nearby,
Striding upwards.

He turned his head
And met my eyes.
Just another human.
He turned away and left.

I stripped off my boots and dipped my feet
In the chilly stream,
Breathed in the startlingly clear air
And waited for him to reappear.

Rock: Confused yet strong,
Silent and passionate.
Hard place: Aware yet insecure,
Ambitious and promising.

Trying to be liberated;
Free from the ties of
Family and religion.
Unable to escape.

Planted in faith,
Scorched by doubt.
Pushing deeper to find
Waters of redemption.

Mathew, am I drowning? With
A milstone around my neck?
Falling asleep and drifting
To an eternity of darkness.

Earthly comforts and ambitions,
Desired deeply, and prayed for.
But soft skin calls to me. The strong,
Deep voice calls from straight ahead.

A crossroad. Red light.
Amber soon.
Time to decide.
Before it turns green.

Athiesm and faith.
Ask a priest.
Ask him if they can
Coexist.

Stiletto** marks in the tarmac,
City's been so hot it melted.
Linen shorts replaced by less;
In the evening, it's cooler.

Black lights and black bras
Glowing tops and blue tongues.
*** on the beach; one drink
Too many. But it's worth it.

Tongue piercing and
Two Prince Alberts
Discovered in a hurry.
It rocked fast like the night.

*** on the beach. One more.
We did it again.
Spilt a little. Blue stain
To match her tongue.

It's a work out. Higher heels
That make no mark.
The tarmac is safe;
Can't get stuck.

Glow sticks and necklaces
To hide the stains.
Top's still glowing
And every smile shines.

Black light. Black light.
Black light. Blue tongue.
Blue stain. White top.  
Black hair. Black light.

Then Dawn arrives
Bringing a sobering breeze
And destroying the fake light.
It's time for linen again.

I have a brother.
He doesn't share my blood
But we share a life
Hidden from others.

I've known of his every lover
And he's known of mine.
We've known eachother
Though we'll deny it.

I love him for his mind,
He loves me for mine.
No, I lie.
He loves me for my body.

I know his darkest desires,
His hopes and his shame.
He knows my dreams;
I've tried to hide my failings.

We've been lovers -
But only at night!
When dark deeds
Can be hidden

When the sun is out
We sit and laugh
Like brother and sister, but
The kind that don't fight.

I've known of his every lover
And he's known of mine.
We've known eachother
Though we'll deny it.

My every love
Competes with him
Even though
They don't know it.

He's married now.
The wedding was last month.
I didn't go
But I will see him soon.

I know his bride.
But I will not see her.
He and I will spend some
Time together - family time.

He doesn't share my blood
But we share a life,
A life which will remain
Hidden from others.

Water horse, sea demon
She demon, green-eyed sprite.
Hunted for centuries
By knights and teenage boys alike.

An avenging spirit of
The frightened and slight,
Yet she cannot travel far
From her watery prison.

Green-eyed monster
As slippery as the weeds
That grow in her underwater
Bower

Lost children and virtuous
Maidens alone have ridden
The demon and survived,
Carried safely to the marsh's edge.

Cabbyl-Ushtey, the water horse,
Seducer of weary travellers -
Unless they possess an innocent heart;
Few escape the watery grave

They vanish into a well as
Mysterious as the mare that lives in it,
Deeper than the ocean and as
Dark as the souls it swallows.

Dressed in a robe of
A startling white
Tinged with blue.

Eyes rimmed with
dark lashes and
kohl.
Desert eyes.

Lips curled in amusement,
Long hands resting on the latest SUV,
Long, tapered fingers tapping the
door.

An abaya and the arrogant head
turns. Two flickers. One in the eye,
for the slim figure and the body stands
Straighter; taller.

A pretty face,
Unveiled but heavily concealed by
Layers of foundations, shades too light.

The other is a point of light
Through the ear. Yes.
Through the hole in
The ear. His ear.

A djinn slips through
On the cool, night, sea breeze.

I ignore the girl in black and
Slide into the SUV, as easily
As he slipped into my life, as
Easily as the djinn blew through his ear.

I eye the ear. Clean and perfect
To me, despite the gap in his pinna.
Each member of his tribe bears
This inexpert removal.

To let the djinn pass through the
Ear. Else they burrow through the
Canal into the brain,
Trapped by the ear.

Djinn travel with the wind,
You see? We wouldn't want
Madness in the desert. Djinn,
Trapped behind those eyes.

Khol eyes. Arrogant eyes.
Reduced to madness? No,
He wouldn't allow that.
Rather a small imperfection.

He starts the engine.
The pretty face above the
Abaya appears in his line of
Sight again. Mouth's curled no more.

He is uninterested. The
Car roars, slips out,
Joins the highway and
We speed into the night.

I look out the window.
The Djinn travels beside us.

It glitters under the street
Lamps and car headlights
As they move aside,
To let us pass.

Desert dwellers on either side.
One within. One without.

Barefooted teenager
Sliding D&G; watches
Into a bag filled with
Addidas shoes.

It's bonfire night in the cities
Of England. Come out, children,
To the heart of the city and
Bleed it dry.

Betray your hunger,
The greed that consumes you
And the indifference bred into
Your marrow.

Bred by despair and shiny
Baubles in window displays
And worn by all those
Stars in those glossy mags.

It's a consumer's world; it's about
Instant gratification, not hard work -
Even if work could be found.
But why work if you can steal?

Bonfire night. Like when we burn that
Guy. Fawkes? He tried to destroy Parliament
But teenage angst and thugs could do in a few nights
What his barrels of gunpowder couldn't.

Alcohol and **** to last a
Short lifetime. Shopkeepers in the way
Should know better; You can't fight
Irrationality. It has no conscience.

******, loot, burn like in those
Movies about war, Grand Theft Auto,
And a million other games. Just keep
Moving so you never have to actually think.

But just in case, let's blame someone else:
Let's blame race, the Met, politicians,
The schools, the economy, parents -  
Society.

Burn, London. Burn, Birmingham,
Burn, Manchester, Burn Liverpool.
Burn, Gloucester. Burn, burn, burn,
But let tomorrow be just another day.

Bonfire night. Every night.
Till they put out the fires,
Tend the wounded and
Bury the dead.

Glowing pools of cande light
Arranged carefully around the studio.
A steel cage stood, big and strong
So unlike the man outside.

An experiment
For kicks,
For love,
For leather.

Manicured nails, gelled hair and
Sheathed in Armani.
Standing, observing and evaluating
The other and the scene.

The city bustled, street lights shone
And people walked by
On the street below.
Laughter penetrated the window.

Hypnotized, the clock stopped ticking,
The violins got louder and
The laughter faded
As though the window thickened.

Picked up the sharp thongs
Coiled by the gloves.

Violins again and again
Kept repeating the beginning
Of the same song but
I loved it every time.

He stepped inside, shut the door
And looked up.

Wiry and thin.
So unlike the steel cage,
Big and strong.
So uncertain and full of fear.

The bustle forgotten,
The city hummed quietly
As long slender fingers
Clenched the leather.

Violins again and again
Getting louder and louder
Like the drum in our ears
Beating ever faster.

Smooth skin and sharp leather
Met.
Whimpers and gasps
And titilation.

An experiment
For kicks.
For art.
For leather.

Two bodies:
Both wet and sweating.
One standing, observing and evaluating
The other and the scene.

Laughter penetrated the window
Again.
The violins stopped,
And he stepped out for bandages.

It was an experiment.
Just for kicks,  
For lust,
For leather.

An experiment.
For kicks,
For pain,
For pleasure.

Mighnight my desire,
Darkness my soul.
No one to share my music with,
I stand here all alone

I've seen a form in my mind's eye,
One whom no one dares defy.
No face did I see,
I do not know who it could be,
And though I do not know him,
He knows me.

I'd give much to find him
And explore the night sky.
To learn the dark secrets,
And lead an adventerous life

Some say heaven's the ideal place to be,
But what if perfection traps me?

I'd like something different,
Something new,
Something that's kind to few.

A place where only my rules apply,
A place I can stretch my legs and laugh.

I'd give much for a midnight life,
A world not of gold, a world of silver.

He loves his soca and
His carnival.
He calypsos
Like only Dionysus could.

His power is like the
Nymph's - the Oceanid daughter that
Kept Odysseus from
Penelope - only stronger.

So mesmerising: his smile
Bursts with a contagious
Warmth, like the sun
Over his island homeland.

A gold cross hangs from a chain
Around his dark, dark neck.
The smell of his skin spices the air around him,
Making my mouth salivate.

He tastes like Mayan chocolate;
Slightly bitter and tinged with chilli.
The scars on his shoulders and back
Feel like a ripe nectarine againt my tongue.

I want to bite down and feel the juices
Run.
But.
He's a good Christian boy.

This island boy is an enigma.
Tall and willowy
Like a rapier, and
Strong and beautiful.

I wonder if this island boy
Would sheath his faith
In my worship,
For just one, cool, island night.

We hold a party every year at the end of
Summer when the nights are cool,
And we can have Halloween early.
It’s an excuse. It's always an excuse.

Flowing out from various cracks
We come together.
Always we come here;
It reminds us of something.

There is a flat in London you see.
A flat with a cage and a man who lies
To everyone he meets.
To everyone but me.

It was something we never had,
Sure, we like to imagine,
Imagine the Thames is warm and
The sleet will stop.

The rain is never warm here,
And tequila can only do so much.
Alcohol just helps us undress
And dissolve each other's shame.

Our blood mingles and it hurts.
The sand in it scrapes the walls,
And there is only so much a body can take.
So much a body can take.

It’s a select group, though we'd never
Admit it.
Our lovers and friends don’t know it
And we are a little afraid of one another.

Betrayal is so easy for us
It’s laughable.
Broken hearts are easily mended,
Besides, we have eachother.

We each of us live in four different worlds,
And none of them collide. Then we
come together in  incestuous ******.
We're not related.

None of us are related,
But we are family,
And every family has it's wounds.
Ours is ******.

My brother has a flat in London you see.
The flat has a cage, and he lies about it.
He lies about it to everyone but me.

Dark night
Seen through dark eyes,
A solitary star
Draws my eye.

A soft breeze sings
A cricket accompanies.
A harmonious duet at a
Sunset concert.

Crushed lapis blended
Into a sapphire sky, and
Brushed with blood,
Kisses the mountains.

A single tree on a mountain top
Silhouted
Against rogue clouds
Fleeing a war of lights and sounds
Over an angry, tormented sea.

Just like any bad breakup
Except it never really was.
A dream I held on to until
You became the one I lost.

My skin tingled and my
Stomach got cold. My nose
Started to burn like I was
Coming down with the flu.

You told me you'd set a date
With the girl you'd loved since
You were thirteen.

I remember those days and
They way your voice broke.
I remember the boy you were;
I want him and the man you've become.

My chest is burning with
Happiness because your
Cup is full. Except, I also
Feel like I'm suffocating.

I feel like fury, I could be
Medea. A creature of
Power till the hero broke
Her heart.

I could burn in hell
Or Apollo's embrace.
Be eaten by dragons
If I could just get away!

It's all going to change
And I don't want to grow old.
I feel the clock ticking and
I want it all to stop and go back.

I want it to go back to when
We were children, full of
Angst and pure passion
To a time when I still had a chance.

All I see now, is time racing
Ahead before I have a chance
To reach my goals. I feel forgotten
Though I know you still care.

I couldn't wish her pain, the
Child you love, but I do wish
That I could erase every trace
Of her in this world.

So while I burn inside,
Plummeting deeper,
I wish I could resolve
And ease the pain I'm in.

I don't want to feel numb.
I want to rejoice with you.
I just want us to be something
That never was.

It burns a little,
And it never goes away.
There's a nagging feeling,
Maybe this is the end.

The beginning of a new chapter,
Beginning of a new book.
If it was fiction,
It wouldn't burn so much.

Going back in time,
Into blurry late nights.
Drunken fumblings,
And no success.

Inbetween the darkness,
I looked into the day.
The sun was shining,
While we lay in bed.

In your bed we lay.
I was awake,
Looking at the sunlight.
You slept through the day.

That's where it started,
Where something corrupted.
Drugs and free love,
Are best left to the movies.

It's never ending,
The drains overflow,
Cars bathe pedestrians
Who are already drenched.

There's a cool breeze
Blowing in this city of wind.
It would be perfect,
If I didn't live in the city.

Take me to the moors
Where the grouse nest
And the choughs graze.
To the sea of heather.

The smell of wet earth,
Pummeled by car exhausts
Poisons the streets and
Like me, the trees try to escape.

I could wander the moors
Till I reach the cliffs
Where the salt of the Atlantic
Makes love to the gorse.

The shelter given
By a rotting house
Cannot be compared.
I would rather roam the moors.