It's in the *****, cluttered sheets,
that I see you.
In the strands of hairs,
that are left behind.
The constant humming,
as he slowly wakes up.
The extended arms,
and the simple smile as he looks at me.
These gestures and actions,
can't help but bring you to mind.
No longer in your bed,
but in anothers.
Wrapped in their arms,
and extremely far from yours.

I wish it were simple to say,
exactly what you'd like to hear.
You dragged me along,
for far too long.
How could I ever say "I love you too",
when I no longer do.
Yes,
I used to.
I loved you fully,
through and through.
But somehow that was never enough.
I've discovered something,
someone new.
Who loves far much more,
than your heart ever could.
No matter how hard I pushed,
you pushed right back.
When I fought for you,
you never gave a second glance.
But just as I began,
to walk away.
You extended your arms,
once again.

It was the way you looked at me,
when you told me you loved me.
It was the way you smiled,
when you said you wanted me forever.
It was the way you touched me,
when you almost lost me.
It was all those things,
that made me feel that for once,
I was getting what I truly needed.
And that was you.

I'm beginning to feel,
a little bit indifferent.
But only about you.
In my mind,
I thought we would be perfect.
But in reality,
we could never be.
I've set myself aside,
for no one but myself.
Incapable of being able to love another,
I'm hurting you in the process.
My selfish ways,
drag you along.
And I'm sorry,
for that.
And for much more.
Because I can't let you go,
no matter how much I should.
And I wont let you go,
because I know you're the best thing for me.

We boarded the train,
and you held my hand.
Your eyes were kind,
and your smile was soft.
Children skipped along to seats,
and others placed their luggage over head.
A man sat across from us,
and I couldn't help but stare.
Despite your hand around mine,
everything told me to let go.
While you were speaking to me,
I glanced at him.
His refined scruff,
and circular glasses.
He glanced my way,
but quickly turned back.
I no longer wanted to belong to anyone else,
but him.
But you next to me,
and kissed my cheek.
I tried to back away,
but you didn't notice.
The man would look over at me,
and would stare at our intertwined hands.
Realizing I could never be his,
we both looked away.
And so we reached our stop,
and I got off with you.
Your hand pulling me away,
I glanced one more time.
Just to upset myself a little more.

A disease that no doctor can diagnose.
Bumps appearing and disappearing,
in different spots and different sizes.
Something wanting to come out,
but trapped within the tight,
pale skin.
Going from office to office,
discovery never found.
A small itch here,
a large bump there.
Medicated for an unknown factor.
Living with it for years,
you eventually get used to them.
An oddity others would shriek at,
you continue to just live life.
One day everything will be fine,
and on other days the disease will resurface.
No explanation,
and no care to find out.
I would not call it giving up,
but rather accepting your own flaws.
Learning to live with this hidden beauty,
and ignoring the bypassing whispers.