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cierra fielding Sep 2018
i am a dahlia
in your palms
glorifying your hands
as rich soil for my roots to grow deeply
theres no room for me to grow here.
the water will slip through your fingers and i will starve
my petals will wilt
and that is no way to treat a flower
cierra fielding Sep 2018
today temptation
kissed my air

  with the scent of lust
and taste of ruin.
a dark haired stranger
with tattoos on his neck
my body ached to know his.
but not an inch of me caved
i can not let my self know this
dark haired
angelic
problematic
demon.
lust is not love.
cierra fielding Sep 2018
its all very interesting.
as the days continue
the trees get more golden
we look more and more alike.

i have fallen in love with life and all its colors.
all over again
like ive been living in black and white until recent

i tremble at the sight of towering trees
all of their beauty makes me weak at the knees
how i appreciate and praise
nature and nurture
nurture, nature
all she ever does is give and give.

the world is especially golden this hour
it really moves me.
i am moved
magic is upon us
raining down
glowing glory
bless you.
cierra fielding Sep 2018
apart of me is lost in all my hells
cierra fielding Sep 2018
Right Side Wrong Bed

my eyes are rollin, openin from the back of my head ,
checkin the time, little past 4 am
familiar guy on my side , **** not this again
sick of wakin up right side of the wrong bed
n i guess its alright
chances of me stoppin are , slim
despite how much i try
always back on his skin
this happens everytime
hopin someday ill move past this
hopefully one day i might
n so i slipped on my socks
n draws and dipped thro the front
the only thing i really regret was,
not showing you how much you meant ,
how much you mean
how for me you are the everything i will and ever need
like a unique missing piece inside a space only you can fill the empty place
and i remember once when i tried to hate you with every ion of my being
but who i ended up hating was me.
me for feeling such feelings i never thought could be felt.
your voice made me so weak i was reluctant to ask for help.
and theres more wealth in the sound of your name then all the paper my wallet can ever contain.
i told my momma i loved a boy and she said i oughta be ashamed.
i oughta be ashamed.
that i gave away my heart this way and let someone else hold control,
she just doesnt want my cards to fold, i really understand cause neither do i.

i just swear without the warmth of his hold, it'd be the end of my life,
and there really is no good ina goodbye.
right side of the wrong bed,
what a familiar sight.
right side of the wrong bed story of my life

my body been a tool my mentality is a sulking wound and i was consumed by the blooming fumes of hurt inside my lungs but baby u fill me with clear air, & I've concluded this feeling its very unfair.
like my blouse i find my conscious completely undone
my brain picked apart
, scattered pieces just laying
like our clothes in the dark
there was no light except the spark that arose between our souls
ive never felt more colorful in a place that was completely dull.
but then i woke up bare and cold n most of all alone. this time the bed i woke up in was mine.
right side of the wrong bed,
what a familiar sight.
right side of the wrong bed story of my life

the bed is yours and its been made
told momma im ****** up
& she said i oughta be ashamed.
because  ive let you go
i thought thats what i oughta do
now im chokin on the truth
theres really not much me without a little you.
baby thats the ****** truth
n now im all bruised n wounded
ive done this to myself thats what the truth is
im consumed in it
its ruthless and i cant ****** do this
i cant ****** do this
baby im so uselessss
cierra fielding Sep 2018
I come home late, I sit and converse with my room mates, I have revelations and swear I almost smile and feel me , myself lying underneath the surface of my skin, she's here again. At the end of the night , early morning 2am when I finally force myself to turn off all my lights. I lay there and gaze up at my ceiling. My four walls and I whisper our silent sorrows back and forth. Tears fall down my face. I can feel each individual tear and why they are fleeting my tear duct. She's sad again and forgets who she is behind the tears the shame the sorrow
cierra fielding Sep 2018
i wrote you a lil sumthin i hope you dont mind me reading i thought of you today , this hurt me very deeply. there once was a time i thought you'd never leave me lemme know if im wrong but lately ive been thinkin
over on how i was so ignorant, **** you had me fooled yeah i was convinced n now this achin pain inside my chest has become an old friend n i dress myself w a smile i still play pretend
in the end that may be pathetic but ******* aint it the truth youve left my heart all black and blue i got many scars to match these wounds n is it possibly to be so beautifully bruised? n i mean this pains a reminder, you were once always there n w your symphonic soul i swear you ****** cared  but even at your lowest high i want you n your corrupted mind.

n here dear ive gathered a couple questions id really like to share you dont gotta answer no you dont even have to care but baby do you think of me now and then like i think of you? i mean ive had quite a few drinks n its aboutta quarter till 2 but you see my altered brain doesnt change my subconscious truth because at the end of each day my heart keeps beating for you. but youll ash me off , again and again , no worries though i know im nothing to sweat and im just waitin for the day ill wake without you inside my head. but you know truth be told thats not how this hear works ill look into those eyes again and revisit all my hurt. n im inconclusive of which evil is worse.

people tell me each n everyday not to let this world make me small but im only 5'1 yo i was never really tall n ya'll can keep on talkin **** on my style cause your words cant steal my smile. but im always questionin how much more can i even take daddys sick of seeing tears fall off this pretty face. iv been rollin on my own feelin so out of place i got so many fears im so unsure of my fait this future image isn clear n im sorry i cant be who i was past years. im changin yeah ***** a changin so are the dreams so are the demons i know ive grown cold but ive got my ****** reasons. this ***** gotten old my filthy conscious is a constant bleedin but i guess i must accept whats been placed upon my plate you were just another phony who couldnt relate n i guess thats your luck n my ****** mistake.

it was a foolish thing but quite beautiful too. those last words left a sting yeah im pretty bruised n now im hopin that this melody will relieve some pain inside the wounds because its a tragic thing a tragedy thats what i can conclude, thats why i smoke **** so i can be elude fill these lungs with smoke hopin highs will get me through hoping somehow i can cope rolla doobie maybe 2 laugh cause lifes a ****** joke i hung my neck inside a noose. maybe ill jus ****** choke ive been pullin on them ropes. n now im spittin fire so hot haydes jottin notes i got the devil askin for tips, baby ima make it n im gonna make it big. but they tellin me to start but idk where to begin.

so many bad moments followed by worse emotions when will it end? im hightenin the doses cause **** ive given it.  just walkin thro the motions less alive n mostly dead. doors just keep on closin im hungup with my regrets n these demons wont let me forget bad intentions, their why i havent slept. countless broken promises i can never mend thats why i do what i do so i can feel closer to death.
n now youve all been askin whats up inside my head, well your not gonna like the answer your about to get. evils on my ****** conscious. its clutterin my brain that must be the reason im so inmuthafuckinsane. always ****** w bad **** n even worse people stuck inside a trip soaked in all the evils but everything i spit is venomous that ****** lethal n even if i overdose ima cop a sequal cause im so invincible tearin up traditional principals
yaaa im so ******* illll hopefully ya'll catch this sickness
so busy making some bills
honey moneys on my wishlist
and homies know this
i always gotta sack of that purple potent
n now im on a mission lookin for that purple potion
put my mind ina wavy motion im a constant floatin.
n now my parents are makin a commotion

cierra baby just get off the ****** drugs
sorry mom im crazy yeah im really ******* nuts.
this mind is fully corrupt. the world ****** it like a ****.
i wrote this when i was only 16 and the world has only gotten more evil
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