Piercing rays of Sunshine
Thawed the chill some
And I shed my black cashmere scarf
With subtle silver stripes,
A birthday gift from ma,
Dear departed,
Who loved God
And wanted to preach on Sundays
Like Jimmy Swaggart
Or Bennie Hin

She'd write checks
Of a thousand or more....
'For The Lord,' she'd say
'They are doing The Lord's work!'

And I smiled like the Saturday  morning sun
Over Canarsie;

My tearful tide had crested on Friday at sorrow's peak;

And I stared at the clear blue heavens,
Scanning the clouds
For the smiling face of a new angel
Who loved God
And wanted to preach on Sundays
Like Jimmy Swaggart
Or Bennie Hin

My grieving eyes soon  found
A solitary bird,
Wings askew  and waving,
Dashing with childish glee
Through the skies above...

A whistling dove,
Or skylark,
Or perhaps the mariner's albatross;

Her work on earth was done...

'Twas time to fly...

In Paradise

~ P (#attf)
10/31/2013

'Like platform shoes
And bell-bottoms
I miss you

And those soul train  moves
On Saturdays,
I still can't do
Quite  like you
But I try

And I cry
Through my smile
Like rain on a sunny day,
As evergreens sway
To the riffing wind

A natural fusion
Of jazz, thunder
And flashes of light
Prey on my mind

And I wonder
If you miss me too

From up yonder

Or down under...

But we didn't pray
So I can't say
If you are flying high
Or frying deep

So I'll keep dancing,
Kicking and dreaming of you

'Til the music stops...

~ P (#ttms)
(11/12/13)

Shalom
you said
but Fay's father

ignored you
on the stairs
of the block of flats

you were only trying
to make peace with him
because of Fay

but he wasn't
buying into any Jewism
as he termed it

forgetting that
his Jesus said head
of his Catholic Church

was a Jew himself
but that was
another matter

so you let him go
on his way
up the stairs

humming some
Latin hymn to himself
later seeing Fay

on the way
to the grocer's shop
through the Square

she said her father
had forbidden her
to even talk with you

(the Jew Boy
he had said)
but she knew it was  

impossible even
if she wanted to
which she didn't

despite the risk
she ran in seeing you
or talking with you

I only said shalom to him
you said
she frowned

it means peace
you said
I could have said

something else to him
less friendly
she smiled weakly

best say nothing
she said
o.k

you said
so you walked with her
to the grocer's shop

across the road
and along to the grocer's shop
by the newspaper shop

where they had
The Three Musketeers book
in the window

which you wanted
to buy at sometime
and you showed her

the book and the cover
with a picture
of three musketeers

sword fighting
and you walked on
to the grocers

and she bought
what was on her list
and you got

what your mother
had written
on a small scrap of paper

and afterwards you said
how about a penny drink
at the Penny shop?

and she looked anxious
and said
not sure Dad  said

not to linger around
well don't linger
you said

but have a drink
and we can sit
by the wall outside

and see the world go by
and sip our drinks
she hesitated

but then said
o.k
so you took her

to the Penny shop
and bought two bottles
of penny pop

and sat outside
by the wall
your shopping bags

beside you
the morning sun
blessing your heads

and she talked
of the nuns
at her school

how strict they were
but one she said
was kind

and taught her
the Credo in Latin
word by word

and you sat
listening to her
and she sitting there

momentarily free
like an uncaged
song bird.

On the day you finally broke
you let every bit of the control you valued so much, slip
slip
away
And I loved it.

On the day you broke I pushed a button I knew I shouldnt have
pushed
and between your anger
I named your fear
"You're sccared." I said
Between your anger and your fear there was no more room left for
control
so you broke and broke down.
As broken down a control freak gets
Shaking, you spat out the saddest sentence I have ever heard
come out of your beautiful mouth
Hair crackled with the ferocity of your hatred you said
"IF. I could change everything about. MYSELF,  I would. My ****** zip code, my zodiac sign, every. *******. thing. The good, the bad, the ******* joyous and the ******* ugly."
You whispered the word "everything" as if I did not yet understand.

My father only taught me how to be a man but my mother taught me how to be a human being
And I too know how heavy armour wears on your skin
Even soldiers sleep
Even vikings take their armour off at some point
Even a captain removes his ******* hat
You
you sleep with clenched fists and gritted teeth
I havent heard you
yawn
burp
****
****
***
or snore
you are
the one eye open on the door and I'm
the kitchen floor cleaner going back for more
ill unload your baggage
just  tell me where you left the ******* keys to the trunk

I was there,
when each of you
                      were born,
that change,
from womb to
life with room to
grow,
beyond what nurtures,
leaving behind sutures,
and now, scars at what your mom, all moms
gave away,
so you are here today,
she bore scars then,
and she will again,
and again,
when you forget a birthday card, or to call,
or don't drop by on Mother's day at all,
but she, will be the first to defend
each one of you in their turn, until the end,
so remember, if you read this, it is nothing
more than a kiss as a reminder,
come and find her, stand behind her,
not to take advantage,
of being first or last or in between,
and whisper in her ear, that you love
her, as much as there is air in the atmosphere,
and you know she has cried an ocean of tears,
inside for each time, each of you, or others have broken her heart,
but it does not mean she is angry,
but it does not mean she is frankly cranky (that's me)
what it means is she is human
who has made enough room in her
heart for all of you forever, whether or not
you bring flowers or hold her hand for a walk, when she gets older,(light years from now)
just call her and listen more than you talk,
give her the time to be creative, ART recharges her battery pack.

For she is special, like ripples in the pond,
her love can be felt like the waves that goes on and on,
                             and I observe all this, and I am in awe,
becasue I too have a mother,
who is unlike any other, except her capacity to show her love for me,
for all the time, years and miles, distance between her and me.
             And she still smiles when me she sees.


©DWE112013