In this life you can’t
rewind orfast forward.
All you can do is keep
on playing or simply
just press ******* stop.
Who wants to keep
pressing play on life?
I wish I could rewind
my life and fix the
things I’ve ****** up.
I don’t want to click
the fast forward button
just to see my daughter
grow up and watch as
friends fall apart; as
well as loves, and see
myself fade away.
I can’t just stop now.
Once; many times before
I tried so hard to hit
stop before I made my
****** up life worse.
But I failed.
Now all I can do it
keep on playing this
poor tape, titled:
This Is Your Life

hiding behind the
dark makeup.
blinded by lies.
never showing who
you truly are.
pain attacks.
icy eyes close.
fallings.
nothing but the
darkness of sleep.
deep, dream free sleep.
the light burns.
makeup smeared
down your face.
blood at your sides.
pain attacked.
unconsciousness.
you’re alive.
fourteen hours
have passed.
as well as a bottle
of Xanax and
a pathetic razor.
he’s telling you
this it is not
your time to go.
stop hiding
behind your pain.
open your
heart and let
the world see you.
forget the pills.
forget the blood.
love yourself.

neon flashing lights.
electric bright.
blood poisoned with ink.
fatally gorgeous.
running the streets
of Las Vegas.
sleepless nights.
deadly venom in the
form of needles.
gun shots in the alley.
midnight games.
dancing for money,
roll the dice.
one for the money.
two for the ****.
three for your soul.
if you play your
cards right,
your life may be saved.
controlling your thoughts
in bright nights.
then one shot
and they’re gone.

“In Hollywood they’ll pay you a million dollars for a kiss but only fifty cents for your soul.”
- Marilyn Monroe

the indecision to
fall back into
the romances life
throws at her
keeps coming back.
there is no true
romance in life.
roses and candy,
proclaim only
more false hope.
tears shed.
against romance.
broken window.
forgotten happiness.
she’s against romance.
broken promises
and treacherous lies
replace all trust.
**** romance.
life can take
it all away.

“just think of all the thoughts wasted on you. And every word you say, say something sweet, cause all I taste is blood between my teeth.”
-Jack’s Mannequin

beating hearts
skip a beat,
hold my hand
never stop.
bittersweet
kisses in the dark;
hold your breath
take it in,
they pull together
just to fall apart.
passion ignites.
stardust dies.
scream apologies.
broken glass leaves
behind self control.
cigarette-smoke
perfume lingers.
tears never fall.
runaway to your
far off never land.
make time stand
still in your world
of confusion.
nothing is worth
the loss of happiness.
happiness is everything.

love has betrayed
her once more.
her thoughts cloud
with terrible things.
rusty razors blades;
hanging from the
exotic orange
extension rope;
sleeping pills so
she’ll never wake
up again.
scars on her
wrist shine like
white burning stars
in the hot steam
of the shower.
tears fall.
memories invade.
everything hurts.
light has become
darkness,
and all happiness
has evaporated
into thin air.
when will it be
back and grab
her by the hand
to take her away
from all of this?

black and white pinstripes
are all I can see…
but that’s nothing.
roses.
candy.
raindrop tears.
bullets.
pretty gun sitting there,
hold you if I only dared.
blood stains on the sheets.
even more on the wall.
ring around the rosie…
One.
Two.
Three.
flower petals burning.
reflecting mirror.
hush little baby,
don’t say a word.
shards of glass beneath me.
broken heart.
well it shattered.
sweethearts or sweet tarts.

There’s no way to explain my
life except to say that it’s
all in black and white.
It’s practically all in a grayscale.
Love; love is a matter of
darkness in my eyes.
It’s a void that people create,
thinking that they’re in love just
to have it eventually filled with lust.
Falling love is like falling into oblivion.
You fall and fall just to keep falling
until you hit rock bottom.
When you land, it’s full of
broken glass and broken hearts.
That’s the story of my life.
Full of voids that are either
empty or have been filled in
by the monster we call lust.
It’s all in black and white.
Full of confusion.
my heart for example,
is just one ******* void
full of absolute oblivion.
At one point it was a close
comparison to the color wheel,
though over the years it’s faded
into complete darkness.

love.
no such thing.
it’s a myth.
a complete lie.
don’t fall in love.
never.
even if it calls
for you with it’s
charming lullabies,
don’t listen.
run away.
run away screaming.
screaming apologies.
listen to me.
when loves’ claws
come out full and ready,
just hide.
please.
don’t fall in love.
don’t fall in love.
don’t fall in love.

pretty little flower
flashing star
broken soul
fall apart
listen to the music
never ride on
the roller coaster
of love.
run away.
save yourself.
now it’s too late.
shoot on by
rainbow bright
see the blood
raining down.
say goodbye.
for the 100th time.

hearts break,
tears shed.
this unforeseen
life seems unbearable.
we go on in
uncompleted circles
searching…
the past snips
at your heels
asking to be
remembered
for only a
mere fraction
of a moment.
remember
all of the blood,
the tears,
the very words
which should
have been long
forgotten.
remember
why you’re
here today.
the things
that made you
take the roads
leading you
to the here
and now.
remember
how you came
to find
me.

Cascading waves of memories flood over you like an ocean swallowing you entirely engulfing your every move and stealing your every breath from within. Screaming and crying are disguised with one last breath. You awaken and to your demise find you were only in a far off dream.

heartfelt.
beauty melts.
frozen inside.
purse your lips.
hide your scars.
blood stained
memories invade.
ignite the past.
open inside.
let the light
find you.

He finds himself in connection
with a beautiful disaster.
A mess of gorgeous chaos.
She’s running away from
Everything that once was.
As he holds her tightly and
whispers in her ear she cries.
Her tears are held at bay
so they’re left unseen to
ease the pain and extinguish
the fear that is dwelling deep
within her heart.
He’s become her light; the only
one to take everything away.
He’s helped her realize that
happiness is no beautiful myth.
And that love is far from a lie.
They’re real and they’ve been
well hidden disguised in
this masquerade of her life.
The truth will soon be
unmasked and that life will
be forever faded away into her
bittersweet memories.