What roads have we taken to lead us to where we stand today?
Why do we make the decisions we do and how is it we meet the people we meet?
It’s said that everything happens for a reason and those reasons are up to destiny to determine. Though there are those of us who question the logic behind the things that surround us; we question why we meet such people and why things happen in the order in which they do. Will there ever be accurate answers to the questions we desire to be answered most? In many ways I believe there will never be true answers to any questions; those answers lay far beyond, in a place we may never physically reach.

We meet people and we fall in love. We fall backwards out of love and headfirst into a broader future. We accumulate new friendships and new relationships. Those friendships and relationships diminish and evaporate into a far off past. Then stop. Press forward. Déjà vu. Repeat. Flashes of pictures, laughter, and hearing a smile in the voice of the one you held the closet to your heart. What are the odds one may ask. But it’s truth.
Never take loving someone as a responsibility; it’s a choice, and it’s a part of you as a person to love. There is not one person who has never felt love.

In this life you can’t
rewind orfast forward.
All you can do is keep
on playing or simply
just press ******* stop.
Who wants to keep
pressing play on life?
I wish I could rewind
my life and fix the
things I’ve ****** up.
I don’t want to click
the fast forward button
just to see my daughter
grow up and watch as
friends fall apart; as
well as loves, and see
myself fade away.
I can’t just stop now.
Once; many times before
I tried so hard to hit
stop before I made my
****** up life worse.
But I failed.
Now all I can do it
keep on playing this
poor tape, titled:
This Is Your Life

hiding behind the
dark makeup.
blinded by lies.
never showing who
you truly are.
pain attacks.
icy eyes close.
fallings.
nothing but the
darkness of sleep.
deep, dream free sleep.
the light burns.
makeup smeared
down your face.
blood at your sides.
pain attacked.
unconsciousness.
you’re alive.
fourteen hours
have passed.
as well as a bottle
of Xanax and
a pathetic razor.
he’s telling you
this it is not
your time to go.
stop hiding
behind your pain.
open your
heart and let
the world see you.
forget the pills.
forget the blood.
love yourself.

neon flashing lights.
electric bright.
blood poisoned with ink.
fatally gorgeous.
running the streets
of Las Vegas.
sleepless nights.
deadly venom in the
form of needles.
gun shots in the alley.
midnight games.
dancing for money,
roll the dice.
one for the money.
two for the ****.
three for your soul.
if you play your
cards right,
your life may be saved.
controlling your thoughts
in bright nights.
then one shot
and they’re gone.

“In Hollywood they’ll pay you a million dollars for a kiss but only fifty cents for your soul.”
- Marilyn Monroe

the indecision to
fall back into
the romances life
throws at her
keeps coming back.
there is no true
romance in life.
roses and candy,
proclaim only
more false hope.
tears shed.
against romance.
broken window.
forgotten happiness.
she’s against romance.
broken promises
and treacherous lies
replace all trust.
**** romance.
life can take
it all away.

“just think of all the thoughts wasted on you. And every word you say, say something sweet, cause all I taste is blood between my teeth.”
-Jack’s Mannequin

beating hearts
skip a beat,
hold my hand
never stop.
bittersweet
kisses in the dark;
hold your breath
take it in,
they pull together
just to fall apart.
passion ignites.
stardust dies.
scream apologies.
broken glass leaves
behind self control.
cigarette-smoke
perfume lingers.
tears never fall.
runaway to your
far off never land.
make time stand
still in your world
of confusion.
nothing is worth
the loss of happiness.
happiness is everything.

love has betrayed
her once more.
her thoughts cloud
with terrible things.
rusty razors blades;
hanging from the
exotic orange
extension rope;
sleeping pills so
she’ll never wake
up again.
scars on her
wrist shine like
white burning stars
in the hot steam
of the shower.
tears fall.
memories invade.
everything hurts.
light has become
darkness,
and all happiness
has evaporated
into thin air.
when will it be
back and grab
her by the hand
to take her away
from all of this?