Were you just made for me? I ask because
I asked for you one day, was I the cause
of your arrival simply 'cause I asked?
Was my request enough to cause His Task?
Were you returned to Him because I left
our home and left your side a void, a cleft?
Had you fulfilled your role, companion, friend,
and thus your clock had reached its circled end?
Insane, the thought, insanity it seems,
yet now I see you only in deep dreams,
for you arrived promptly at my behest,
as soon as my two lips had formed request.
And soon after I cleaved to my dear wife,
not two years passed, and so likewise your life.
Your presence seemed with mine to coincide,
and when I left, yours too had left to hide.
Yet who was I that God would grant me you--
a child so unimportant and untrue,
and who am I that God should take away
the brother that I love until this day?
I never once deserved such precious love,
a gift of my request from heights above,
companion, brother, seeking just to be
a best friend who could always walk with me.
And did I love you as you just deserved?
I often held my feelings in reserve,
until the day you chose to say to me
those truest words, your very last to be:
"I love you, brother," said to my dismay,
as if you knew there'd be no other day.
So undeserving for your smiling face,
I should have been the one in your dark place.
For all the years you sought my closed embrace,
only to find my hand stopping your face,
the gift of life should have remained with you,
and sleep for me, forgetting all I knew.
Yet seemingly it all became reversed,
you've died, I groan under a grieving curse.
Oh, who am I that I remain to be?
Oh, who am I? Were you just made for me?
(C)2010, Christos Rigakos