Cursed caught under her spell,
Shes a witch,subjected my self to anguish
Subject, indiscretion
some loving in her coven
Trick...
Whip out my wand and stick it in your oven


Concentration eyes fixed on inspiration
Two **** perfectly adjacent
licking my lips i'm ready for some tasting
Like juicy fruit my tongue is gonna mooove ye
lip to lips, making love between your hips
My fantasy, the magic we conjure between these sheets


Been sniffing, My heart rates lifting
Like christmas its your turn for giving
My head is twisted, your lips are gifted
re-birth...
My concept of heaven on earth
an angel on her knees at mercy to a vigilante


Now stop, drop, and roll
My woods on fire
I need water, and your ***** is wet
Throw on my gloves and begin this set
Power on the camera, to replay your reaction
Teeth in your neck, moving in a synchronized fashion
She's calling me sunshine because my hands keep tanning her assets
Call you the bunny, got all my eggs in your basket
Repeat
Squeezing me tightly, cursing at the ceiling
Mutual has become our feelings


That time again the sun came up
Yeah good morning, time to stop the recording
Rewind is an option, if looking for an evaluation
Replay's our decision lets start back in the coven

Chris Lafleur wrote a new note: fighting myself

12 hrs · 

im a mess and im aware of it
thanks for noticing,
but for some reason i cant find it in me to quit
cause every time is my last,
followed by relapse
typical cycle for anybody with this type of tolerance
still i keep making excuses, to give into temptation.
like its friday, or im single or i enjoy the conversation.
but the attention im getting, is negative
and consists of alterior motives 
the people that surround me, are pathetic and desperate 
we just share an addiction that controls our every action, predictable, insane , and defined by our habits
yet i still struggle to overcome it 
because satisfaction is so comforting
I crave a fix thats so damaging
yet i continue abusing myself and neglecting the side effects

its been so long that iv adapted amongst the monsters
and brought myself to accept it 
i understand the effects its had on my life 
and still cant change, 
i mean i try constantly, and have the right idea
just seem to fail repeatedly, and its becoming discouraging to never acheive whats expected from me 
Ive earned a bad reputation that i carry with me
everywhere i go, and its obvious im not a model citizen

not that im bad person ,i posses a kind heart , a beautiful mind, and the ability to be what i chose
i beleive in god and i try to do whats right
its society that doesnt agree 
they say im sick, confused , selfish , or bad 
this was not my intention when i began on this mission
and i never ment to hurt anybody?
yet i hv a book full of victims
that cant understand how i reason
in my defense i was curious, it all started as an experience but i underestimated the consequences that are associated with the sensation
sharing pills with my friends and creating memories
seemed beneficial at the time being
but now i see it was toxic and i was only bringing everyone down, a bad influence disguised in desire
destroying relationships and hurting each other 

so i cant be sick since that implys theres a cure 
more like twisted and stuck in reverse
and i cant escape this place since its myself that im avoiding
a problem thats affecting my entire existance.
ive forgotten how to smile without being under the influence, and loves become just a word i use to my advantage that i abuse amongst women to have *** without meaning, cause i do enjoy the company means i must contain misery 


so at this point im sensless 
incapable of feelings, without inducing them artificially
ive lost all direction,and theres no signs pointing towards the exits, 
just time wasted standing in the same position
Searching for somewhere i can feel wanted
a paradise,where i can be accepted for who i am
but without a clue how to get there i stumble through life without a destination in sight 
im lost in the darkness, and cant remember how i got here
i understand that its not right, and do appreciate the concern 
but in the end this is my life and i have to find the light on my own terms

To the one who holds my cards in her hands
A queen with my heart on her sleeve
I know iv'e made plenty of mistakes
My councience is littered with shame
Iv'e always loved you, no matter what
Im not the judge
I love what your made of
all sugar no spice
and iv'e come to realize
That through an angels eyes
I was the devil
My skin was turned to the disguise
I hurt you, my son, and myself
No thoughts of compromise
My decisions were selfish, sick and twisted
Love sick but inexcusable
And could no longer go on for everyone
All the things i loved began killing me
and i learnt a lesson
There are no accidents
these mistakes were my blessings
You could have saved my life
Took this to open my eyes
Served some time, pondered my mind
The road i was on, was straight to the creator
So i write this letter to ask my forgivness
Startng with this christmas
With a clean slate
Leave the past to memories
Set goals for a futur
and make the present optmistic
So continues the story
Of the demon and angel
AMEN

Like an escape from reality
My minds eye was awakening
Still a mystery
A cold case to where i picked up the mentality
Now I play detective, Searching for myself
Following a trail of disaster
trying to awaken from my living hell
Truth is that's a lie,
Im intrigued by my new talents
and embracing the personality

I've been awakened by writing
My third eyes see through different lighting
Now I live outside the box
And my opinions are sometimes questioned
But my concepts are unbelievable
When heard usually accepted
Id blow your mind if you'd just listen

Awareness is the secret, Since I've been awakened
Sometimes dangerous, to hear what your thinking
Somethings are better off left sacred
Your head is your sanctuary
Now let me in to find out all your secrets
Exploiting the truth,
Is what my third eye does best

Feeling like Superman
Cause i can see right through you
Insane I've been called
To believe in something so unheard
Went to sleep as a boy
I awoke a new man
Now these talents I've discovered
Are making me feel Superhuman

Our love is beautiful like a natural disaster, the damage is done but we always recover
Much more aware and a little bit stronger
Our tragedies have become my securities,
Distant memories to remind me of the golden days

Mount Everest we've already conquered this
Together im on top of the world
Baby you'll always be my number one girl
Understand, **** happens when you cook bacon naked
We can relate to this, baby what we got is like a gift

Our love is a flower growing by the hour
Our **** dont stink, it smells like roses
Just kidding, I wish
Ignorance is bliss
Now my wish our happiness

Forever is long but your beauty goes for an eternity
Melt in my mouth sweet, and chocolaty
The creature i choose to feature in all of my dreams
The angel that brings light to my eyes everyday
Our love is like magic full of dexterity
The charisma to work on it and the will to succeed
Now join me in my rocketship , lets leave this place in flames

I found beauty in my heartache
A new found fame,i call it the blame game

So im walking around looking for forgiveness,
when i ran into a butterfly, floating around beneath the moons eye, on a starlight night
we started sipping some honey, and shooting the ****
Got into the psychedelics, What you jealous?
Started buzzing like a butterfly, and floating as a bee
master of the flowers,yeah thats thee
Lets call her Molly, she told me she never met a flower quite like me
I reminded her how butterfly's were a sign of positivety

Morning came and i adjusted my eyes,and realized
Molly was a girl with the spirit of a butterfly inked within
that's what i like to call a night vision

Poetic,
Sometimes sympathetic
A villain,
Convicted fellon
Refined like nickel,
Under the sun Im silver
Knight in armour
A compassionate killer
Named the flower
Along with the children
Lover and Fighter
Not sure which is better
The speed demon, Saint Christopher
Now tell me whats it matter

x2 What's it mean to ye
Cause it makes no difference
Death's just a new beggining

Raised a hood rat
Low income's my haven
Mother's an angel
father's a Demon
Im just a product
Of the environment i live-in
I got a rough exterior
But my heart is golden
So whats the meaning
for all the cursing

x2 What's it mean to ye
It makes no difference
If i can find happiness

I slave to the grind
Money's the fruit of my harvest
A machine is my temple
And at work im an artist
Got tree's in one pocket
The sun's in the other
Combine them together
And inhale magical fire
Work and play
Not sure which is better
Need them both to survive
Now tell me what's it matter

x2 What's it mean to ye
Cause it makes no difference
It's my life, now let me live it

So this is the price you pay, to compose a work of art now days.
It's become a curse of words, Growing more tangible with every phrase.
Truth be told, feels like im dancing with the Devil
Discovering who I am, Reaching into the darkness and embracing my affliction
Only now im realizing, im only dancing with my other half
Searching for a way out, but its so dark inside.
Like a dreamless night, but I know there's a light at the end of every tunnel,
So I continue to dance with the Devil

If I can keep him from killing myself, At least something else will get the chance.
Anything's better then dancing in hell, so I remind myself
To survive the worst, Require's the best.
Or Maybe its up to Fate, In order to create the brightest light from the darkest space.
To rise above Temptation, and laugh in her face.
But Until the day comes, Where I can find the light at the end of the tunnel
Ill keep dancing with the Devil!!!!

Born into a generation of degenerate's
Who get raised with ****** attitudes
Laziness is the only attribute
When the goal's to see how much drugs to use

It's become a pandemic
Now that it's begun, to show up in our medicine cabinets
We know there's a problem
Societies accepted feeding Ritalin to our children

In a world of addicts, nothing holds its value
Material matter's worth more in drug form
Hold close what's important
Cause no one can be trusted

Hard to work if your broken
Without a fix were all useless
How can we clear up this issue
When the only cure is the sickness

Im good in bed, yet ****** in my head
Yeah that's what she said
Larger then life, When iv'e done to many lines
Im right off the handle, way to much for her to handle
But it's my life, and she aint no leanne rhymes
They say no sympathy for the devil
Well i dont expect none
Because the devil lived
He was gifted with sin
Flattering his foe's egos
While neglecting the truth
Absolving their sins, for the price of their souls
Im the devl in the skin
Thats what she said
To abbreviate is to hate
She just doesnt want to understand
Guess im not worth her chance
That's all she had to give, and she culdn't do that
Loves become out of her reach
since she will never again reach me
Forever and ever Forever ever

Everything society fears, is what i feed on.
People stay away because i tend to be a bad role model.
Nobody can keep up, cause when i drink i go native.
When Im ****** up on drugs, Yeah my minds so creative.

I know who i am. does this frustrate you ?
Good at being bad. Do i scare you?
In love. Because I want you!
Crazy by most standards. Because I choose too!

Who are you to tell me who to be?
when I gaze inside the mirror, Im proud of what i see.
Not ashamed of who i am, can only blame myself for the things iv'e done.
Beautiful as a flower, from the parents i got
Knowledge is power, and Iv'e learnt enough

I choose to be this way,
Because it affects you
Frustrates and scares you
This is who i want to be
******* and your two sense
Because your pennies are out of courency

A users not using till he begins abusing
a parents preaching was only a way of a person teaching
if i knew the answeres i wouldnt ask the questions
i was told to always learn lessons, follow the rules,always take notes, use my etiquette to my benefit

Somethings just get left unsaid
what about the boogie man underneath the bed, reminds me of the night i slept in matt's shed
what was the lesson?
a warm beds a blessing
so pay your bills, save your money you dont need so many pills
ooops i ment thrills
Control

I learnt love from an angel
Got a gift from god, unconditional love, my own piece of heaven
Now my life has become ours, i need to be strong
Hold a job,show a good example, give love , keep it together

I remember the lesson but now im the jester
here comes some pressure
time to use...
Use the lesson's
But its been raining ice for awhile now, all i can smell is peanuts, my job is unknown, and im running low on chances
Circumstances

I heard of pandoras box but forget the lesson on how to manage it once its been opened
Ive only ever been told that it stays closed
Now temptations out and she is running wild, long blond hair with a beautiful smile
my neighbors a straw and he sells peanuts, to feed his wife greed she lies through her teeth

If i had the answeres i wouldnt have asked the questions
now the choice is mine and i get to choose my lessons
the mistakes are mine which means i pick my blessings
you are what you learn which means growing's nothing but a lesson
these lessons have become my progression

give applause to the blind judge, hats off to the deaf law
nobody remembers right from wrong
oops brain glitch, not permanent
or is it
has it all become a conspiracy or should i go back and study psychology
i used respect as money, earned some bad habits and honey,
Got time and some std's
Dont forget it,yeah i dont regret it thats why i said it
lost control,sold my soul, for what ?
popularity, clarity,insanity? SO THEY SAY
I like to call it Love
Is this a spell or, is Love just a butterfly floating beautifully in hell
Brother and mother,wife and children, strenghts and weakness' we all fulfill them
Head up here's a moto
quitters never win and winners never quit
wait why am i sparying this nobody is listening lol

Praying iv'e learnt my lesson
Now that they've starved me of attention
My momma used to say i was such a blessing
Till i grew up, i blew up
Now im locked up, being taught a lesson
All these drugs iv'e done left deep scars
The only cure was to deprive  me of my freedom
Now my insides are healing, behind bars
Prayng iv'e learnt my lesson
Unless this deprivations just a vacation
to depress a life of inevitable desperation
a temporary suppresion of a shamless existance
My mother prays i learnt a lesson
She prays for a better person
A person with a brighter futur
A futur full of succession, accomplishing the unexpected
I dont know what she is expecting
The bar is set so high
i will restart when i escape  these bars im behind

My father prays I lead a better life
The choices are mine, he can only give advice
Suggest to me a cleaner life
Tell me to choose a righteous wife
Hope I find happiness, adivse me to get rich
He prays i lead a simple life
He reminds me how lifes a test and you have to take it
As we saty awake and reminise of his mistakes
He prays i learnt from his misfortune
And commemorate his story
I pray i learnt my leasson
Get released into futur blessings

Feels like im in twilight
These eyes only see star-lite nights
Step under sun, and my skins pushing crystal
It's like a dream but this ***** actually happening

Baby, my touch isn't free
Ill play grim Reaper
Your time is valuable to me
Sounds like the script to a romantic fantasy

Like a sixth sense
I can see what I believe
And this metaphor seems real to me
Happiness is my opinion
The nights just when im living

To the chronicles of the AOE (Army of Excellence)
When Saint Christopher grew his wings
To become a savior to the human king
Took flight and saved the image of the living

These are just stories
Now here comes a parody
It's pure and so euphoric
A joke, so cheap everyone can afford it
Making circles in history
But I could die tommorow, and no amount of money
Would be able to buy these types of memories

I float in your presence
When your around i feel wonderful
So full i have to wonder
If these feelings are mutual

Once upon a time
I felt like exploding
a bomb full of love
Able to move mountains together
Nothing we couldn't overcome
While creating an empire
we could call home
Just recording our story
Like it's a romantic novel

Without devastation
It can't be true love
So embrace the pain as it comes
It just builds character for the end
In order to be remembered
Our ****** must be epic

Nothing last's an eternity
Everything comes to an end
So be sure once you close the cover
Things will get left a cliff hanger
For a later date, To be brought back to life in a sequel

Needed someone to blame for being this way
Till I was chosen to serve,
In satan's army

Now enlighten me,
Try and show me something frightening
Because i've become a creature and its hard to creep a nightmare

A speed demon,
My influence is so evil
The darkest of forces
Leaving nothing to frighten
Titles defined by the meaning
For in  my presence,
Ill drag you towards hell with my bag of speed like a demon

Sell you a line, an artificial high
Baby just sign on the dotted line
There is a price, its just hidden in the fine print
A little of your time, everytime you endulge in a line
Till theres no right,and you've got nothing left
but the whole in the ground
you created while coming crashing down

"Now rest child" Satan's voice whispered
"when your eyes open, there will no longer be the soul of a man
but a demon, controlled and possed by darkness.
Now like  a powerfuldeseise, i want you to infect humanity,
with all the hatred and greed to return the pain and fear,
I loath to come back to reality."

Remember the paranoia will destroy ya?
Turns out it's more truth then myth
Paranormal you could call it, With all the noises coming from my basement
I get an overwhelming feeling, I'm being watched by a demon
He's aware of all my secrets, and knows exactly how to push my buttons
Now Iv'e lost myself, and fear the person I'm becoming

Would this make you nervous?
To go insane over such non- sense
Constantly thinking, and conspiring alone
Not just hurting myself, but everyone around

Now hear come the risks, of fighting against your shadow
Losing all faith, and second guessing yourself
***, drugs, and rock & roll, Just some of my faults
Gathered through time and corked into a bottle
Fermenting, and waiting for the explosion
Now my eyes are always open, When it's time for sleeping
Searching through the darkness, for the monsters that come out under moonlight
So sleeps become a luxury, replaced with the fear of missing something

Come to beleive, my shadow's my conscious
Able to summon all skeletons from the bottom of my closet
Un-earth what I buried under all my ***** laundry
And return it to life, like an invisible zombie

My challenge, is to overcome the side- effects Associated with the crystal ****, The amphetamines have awakened him
and taken me from reality

Now my shadow wont stop following
Starting to become somewhat frightening
Witnessed my every decision
Impossible to deceive him
My Shame is his best weapon
Used to cloud over my self-esteem

Catch me regularilly, checking my shoulders
As a constant reminder of my more then human counter-part
To make me feel alive, and not part of the after life

To a Sickness Im a victim, The symptoms i can't tame
All the darkness that comes with it
Has made me so ashamed
I had no knowledge of being broken
Except to feel i needed change
For these choices Iv'e been making
Are becoming much to grave

Now the madness is my medicine
And i wrote myself the perscription
Problem is im not a doctor
MD is just my given name
So all these pill's that iv'e been popping
Have become the cause of all my conflict


Like all actions have reactions
These pills they come with side-effects
The euphoria's followed by paranoia
How all pain associates pleasure
Sleep has become impossible
But im able to converse with devils

This sickness stole my freedom
All my choices are influenced by addiction
and when weighing out my options
The Speed Demon's always winning

The idea of sobriety used to be insanity
Until they put me in a cage and threw away the key
Locked up, i started coming down
Rocket man, returning to reality
No longer warping between space and time
Just a bunch of time in a small space
lost in history
Started to realize i was my own worst enemy
Unhappy with life,unsatisfied with my so called wife
Began curing my symptoms artificially
Making craters within me
Running to nowhere
Losing myself in a cloud of dust
Forgetting what my life was all about
Everything i knew was upside down
My strengths became my weakness' and my weakness was so powerful
making money from the poison, and ingesting it for free
seemed so lucrative at the time being
Money and drugs had abolished me
Devoured by the incubus in my dreams
totally discnnected from reality
Hit rock bottom

What's lost can always be found
Now rock bottom has become my new foundation
barely living outside of memories
I have a second chance at living
Sobriety is no longer an idea, its a sensation
Eating properly,becoming healthy, and getting stronger daily
My nights belong to dreaming, no longer fiending
My futur is no longer carved in stone
Im regaining control and will leave my futur to the unknown

Been ****** into this life
By the vaccum of outer space
I fly so high all the time
With so much speed im passing light
And its so hard to find a star
When your navigating the milky way

All alone im so lost
Dont know how to keep control
So tag-along, lets have a blast
On a trip to the dark side of the moon

Like a diamond of the universe
Im blown away by those curves
Let me in, Open up
Teach me all about yourself
Who you are, what you like
Tell me how to treat you right

Cause you must be an alien
Since your beauty's out of this world
So accompany me on my rocket ship
Let me make you my girl

When we ****, I know its love
Because were two stars beneath the covers
and im so proud I made you ***
Together were space travellers

Like a soldier standing strong in my composure
Your gimp with a crippled posture
Im a killer with compassion
Compare me to a flower full of venom
Beautiful till i take hold
and paralyze your emotions
Break down what you are
To over power you as a person
Step out of line
Ill smash you to pieces
Talk **** out your ***
But i can read faces
Dont try to overcome me
Just embrace the opportunity
To be in my presence as requested
and respect my punctuality
Because its just proper etiquette

Eat what i feed you
Just remember my warnings
Try to become me and fail
Its just in my genes
To be toughest, roughest, and hardest

Make my friends list
Your covered, no matter the situation
Even in a war of wrong reason
Ill fight for my brothers
Who can prove their allegances

The products right in front of you, I've got nothing to prove
They call me Christ, minus the T, I put that in subliminally, to catch your attention
Now im not a bad person did everything with good intentions
Yeah i broke the rules and i deserve a sentence
Here en-lies the problem, Defining the word freedom
Matter a fact, here are the facts

free·dom
  [free-duhm]  Show IPA
noun
1.
the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint
2.
the power to determine action without restraint.

Now this small town sickness ,is just a scaled down version of Canada's system
People like me are food for the economy, used in the pyramid of industry
Without the rabbit what would the wolves eat
News flash im a wolf and im gonna expose these sick cheats

Yeah my towns named corrupt, drug dealers sons a cop,
matter a fact, all of a sudden everyone's running
The man keeps everything running
spending money on mischief cases, tickets for bicycle chases, rules for smoking in places,  
This judge never even read the bible
Well im an animal and my only instincts survival
Take a gun and blow a hole in this trail, open our minds to a new light

Back to the economy, 3! Number of people already paid
The judge the cops and my attorney, wait  think back in the past...
the pharmaceuticals came from the doctor, the cigarettes from a confection store
Now here is what happened, Every old man with a script was happening
Knocking on heavens door, they started abusing,
using young woman as muse's addiction for their amusment,
Buying from the government to do so, No leadership, less power then your product
Out the door with hard work, shouldn't a boss have earned it, learned it
No more rules pure disrespect, disregard to human feelings, *** and money and all the fillings
The road they were taking had cold dead teachings
Thing is the MAN knew it, pushed it and used us as tools,
Just a number tax bracket in a system of fools

Step 4 Double up , i mean cover up, now the cure is the sickness
Changed the labels, methadone is its name now, why not just call it orange juice and *****
Once again the man is the hero, no more Oxy, just some Neo
Everyone switched, a free drink every morning, a place to meet up, minds all corrupt
The Man's doubling all profit

Towns bored again ***** lost its effect, the chemical evolution has brought new demons
They don't eat much, they don't sleep much, don't pay taxes, and share castles
up all night and don't use stores, thinking to much without borders
wait a minute where are the busts, The Man wants his cut
Hired guns out to hunt, but you cant **** what you don't understand
Well they don't understand me cant comprehend me so,
They find reasons to breech us, restrain us, and cheat us
Only feed us to milk us, i pay tax to my jail house

They say controlled substance but they cant control a movement
Thing is these demons are angels, the gift is awareness
My friends are not monsters, mostly just victims
wishing to open their eyes, to a better life
but i buy for enjoyment, my mind is my playground,
Enlighten me further, Im intrigued by new world order
Freedom of thought, Although nothing is free!
Chemicals are the sickness, my soul was the price
Back to the beginning, We are all feeding the system

The system is a monster, created by man
Words on a paper, evolving alone,
Molding the future which to us is unknown
Know sign your name on the dotted line, Decision final!

Like what the ****, i feel like a sitting duck
Well its **** season so bring your ammunition
My brains not the size of a peanut,  havent you heard? Neither is my *****
So lets **** around cause i keep on ducking around
They say God made the dirt and the dirt dont hurt
Well ive been treated like dirt, Redemption....

Thanks giving duck, more like no longer give a ****
Was a beautiful flower, now my attitude has just gone Sour
Your empathy no longer a matter, get me a spoon so i can eat it
Chew on it and spit it back at your cleavage
Plain old broke, not jail broke
Still a free man so im gonna enjoy this smoke
In my opinion im just living, in your eyes its called sinning
conclusion my decisions not to care for your opinion
I guess that means im still winning,thats my opinion

Even with these clothes all worn out, and my freedom in doubt
Ducking through the bush, with a haircut like butch
I am still the living, "barely", but that earns me a thanks giving so,
Thank god for what i still got
My son is always burning hot
a roof over my head, loving this warm bed
Who needs these mercedees, when ive already got the most beautiful lady
Say Grace...**** your Faith!
Now pass the pig, because i have all the gravy!

Chemistry is the science
That adhere's all of earths elements
Maintaining natures balance
by understanding each materials values

As all actions have reactions
each element has its opposite
The outcomes can be incredible
when combining different variables
the possibilities become endless
once you start playing with the chemicals
but be careful what you tamper with
Because God can be so merciless
driving scientists mad
and turning subjects to monsters

Wizards turned to Warlocks
and begin using society as their subjects
Experimenting with the questions
That serve a higher purpose
Sometimes suffering is the cost of discovery

Without darkness, What is light
Sickness raises awareness
It takes practice to find perfect
When mastering these formulas
The risk becomes worth it
When your battling evolution

When I gaze inside your beautiful eyes
Its Pain and despair I see behind
Now im feeling scared to propose a kiss
Like im forcing myself upon a strangers lips

Hard to beleive a love so strong
Becomes weaathered and dim
Against a killer so silent, invisible, and grim
Because time doesn't stop,
for your mistakes, stupidity or blindness

Lifes a race against the clock
And should be treated with such respect
Father time has no ears, No voice and he's blind
But you can sure feel it, when he pass' you by

Everyone is punished, with the same prosecution
To manage, control, and appreciate
Are times little lesson's
For diamond or Rock
Human or Not
Time has no mercy, and can never be stopped

Ticking away from the day of your birth
Like a race that you start, but never signed up
Without directions to follow, and the finish is unknown
No guarantee for how long
And the prize is the knowledge

Random selection, through the places you've been
and the choices you've made
Earning you a spot on the podium, of dust in the wind

The Sudafed's begun to take it's effect again
Sending a shockwave, through my nervous system
Round and Around the wheels begin spinning

Only stop for speed bumps
To re-fuel and motivate me to write lines
Now at full speed words race through my mind
Running on cold rails, like a train through the night
Chasing after stars, conducting  a work of art

Chris Lafleur wrote a new note: dear future self



Dear future self, 
i am writing this as a reminder of the misery associated with drug abuse.

At this point in my life i am addicted to heroine and crystal ****. I own nothing and live for a fix thats broken me down to a point that i can no longer stand on my own two feet. everyone i love has given up on me, and most of them cant stand to be in my presence, without feeling sick to their stomach. but i dont care because im to numb to feel. my emotions have become artificial only brought on by drugs. i live in a pretend world where my choices have no consequences, and my smile is only a side effect thats brought on by smoking crystal ****. i work everyday yet i have no coins in my pockets. its a struggle to wake up in the morning and my priorities are out of order, so badly that my beautiful son has been taken from me cause they deem me a bad influence, an unfit parent who cannot take care of him. i miss him so much its sickening . I try not to think because my problems are overwhelming. and im to high to deal because society does not accept what they do not understand . i wear sunglasses to sleep since im to ashamed to be seen, cause my eyes tell a story that i cant share with the public. lost touch with reality and love is nothing more than a word that i relate to painful memories. I must be crazy since i self inflict this misery. this day to day life i lead is a sad existance.and excuses mean nothing ten years later. time has passed me by i wasted life on getting high. i dont respect who iv become or any of the people i surround myself with and my best friend is heroine. sleep has become a luxury and its beggining to show in my apperance . im not the person i used to be iv changed drastically some for the better but im far from normal, my mind is constantly growing but with what iv witnessed, iv come to realize im my own worst enemy.

Guess, who's free, free again
Chris is free, lock up your women
Dont need your crack, dont want your crack, you can keep your clap,
You ******* ***
I hope you spend christmas all alone
Because your house is no longer my home
For my brithday i was encarcerated 500 push up's for 60 days
I've come to realize you were the source of all my pain
The reason i tried to drowned all my sorrows in dope
Well iv'e extinguished the flame, Im not the only one to blame
Thanks for what we had, but i dont love you anymore

For a critic your really such a hypocrit
Im sick of it, your no longer worth it
My life is not just some game you play to gain pleasur and inflict pain
Your selfish, time was wasted, iv'e been rotting away in a cage with no freedom
After all the secrets iv'e exposed, and all those lies you told
How can you stand strong on the path you've chose