Screams like a banshee,
An old love
Outside the bedroom window
Soulful mourn
And nondescript yells.
Small notes with scratch fingernail pattern.

Falling asleep in the spiral
Green, because of trees.
Not friends anymore,
Moving onto better things
Better things are bigger.
Better things are important.
Better things are meaningless purpose.

Giving up on a lifestyle
Because of a paycheck
Into a hotel full of the dead
Where it is most hospitable
Until the realization,
That you’re sleeping in an incomprehensible lie.
Not happy
Not content.
No peace.

Only War.

War never changes
In deep voice
It climaxes
With knives
With grenades
And
Atom
Bomb
Fission love.
Leaving behind
Ruby
Sky
Death.

Silence
Is of ghosts
Until
We
All
Become them.

Everything being the way it is doesn’t make sense.
A slight isolation from the world is synonymous with vacation.
Hard to believe in innocence,
When society insists it will be lost anyway.
Anyway, everyone ends up in the grave;
File away the papers and let’s have a parade.

Will humanity again retreat to a cave?
Will the debts of nations remain unpaid?

Midnights on  Fridays,
Not even in the company of strangers.
Just fictional characters seeking real life stories;
The kind with hooks that never let go,
The kind that gets ghosts to gawk in awe,
The kind that speaks of change and new faces.

New locations begetting expansion and undiscovered harmony.
Self-centered, wondering what this means for stubborn habit.

Disillusioned sage.
Sleeping cynic.

A bird that walks instead of flying.
A fish that tries to fly instead of  just swimming.

Sometimes feeling lonely.
Sometimes feeling free.
No love doesn't mean no worries.

Apathy is contagious,
It slips through lips.

Effortlessly navigates winding channels
Discerning certain sweet spots.

Sapping any will as its own.
Lingering, it never deteriorates,
Every breath bringing in more.

I never cared much for catching water drops
So now I don't try.

Into each life some rain must fall
Too much,Too much has fallen already.

Here we go
Here we don't

Admit defeat
In surrendering

Arms are useless
No reason in doing right things

Pointless fighting
Lashed out of friends and enemies

Have you seen me running?

No trust and
Not trustworthy

At second glance
Explicit content
Becomes Imaginary

Quickly lost my sweater
Lost my shirt

Summer rolls around
Sadly I can't help this.

We won't speak again
I'll make sure of it.

A stronger drink
In a bigger glass

I can't stand that
It's all going to break.

Needle still spins on
Without echo
Without tone
Without devotion

Laid side by side
Too intimidating

Dead branches of a tree
We still insist on using

Classical vibrations
Muted with a finger persuading

Soon we will be shipbuilding
In arid climate
Is it worth it?

Telegram obsessive
Rumor possessive

Thinking of excuses
For a second time.

Thinking of triplets
For snaking bass line.

Vagabond breath
I'm always losing.

Rip tide took me out
Walls of sand

Struggled then saved by a stranger
but
I thought you were my father.

Back to hotel rooms
Or Empty rooms
As if nothing ever happened.

I can see a stone
They put you under.

Eased our minds
That we could temporarily forget
Then find you again.

We made each other god
In worlds less than holy.

Where we live it is no desert for the rains still fall.
Where we live the cacti stand tall,
proud and green Men and Women
defending rocky slopes of heaven.
Where we live the bat flies with the nighthawks,
dog fights at twilight against hordes of insects.
The lizard and snake fear a Greater Roadrunner
who laughs at passing cars, for it shall outlive
The Petrol Race centuries forward.

The Sunrise seems like The Mountains'
live birth to a bright blazed star.
The Sunset bombs a horizon
filmed with faraway layers of dust.
The milk cloud of stars and cosmic debris.
The Moon rising, a pale beacon beyond The Mesquite.

Infinity cannot be charted, but i think i saw a limb.

Afternoon Sun shower.
Convinced to be open minded, it wasn't strange at all.
Convinced to taste everything, the radio was singing.
Somehow privileged to experience this,
like staying up to late to see the stars
that couldn't fall asleep.

There were plenty of things to do today.
At first overwhelmed and frustrated.
A dog swam and rolled in the dirt.
*******.
*******.
Over dramatic thoughts.

Swam again and caught him with a towel.
Ran against the road.
The same speed as the giants on the interstate.
Comparisons to satellites and earth spinning.
The Car's computer didn't feel like having diagnostics.
Faked sick as to not attend the show.
Ate,
got shot but heard an embarrassing voice say "Peanut Butter Jelly"
it was over and it is covered now.

Flip Flop Psychology.
Running Civilization.
Seeing My Old Friend.

Now, just waiting for music to explode.

Overwhelming sense of death.
Consumed my thoughts, my actions.
I grabbed onto anything
and held as The Fall began.

Sudden jolt and I am aware
Soft cries come from downstairs
it is too early, something is instantly
wrong.

The drive to my house is long
the last moments of being blissfully ignorant.

Pull up
the driveway is filled with
cars, I don’t understand.
The front door, rushed,
People everywhere
demeanor drops
My mind races with the Intangibles.

Led away, muffled cries
then panic,
Hysteria, disbelief, dreaming right?

Little brother sits softly on my mother’s bed
he doesn’t understand, I don’t understand
as she tells us about
a heart that failed
a heart that stopped
a heart that was too large, too generous
to handle.

Crying. Stop. Shower
Naked, yelling to a god
that no longer exists
coughing as steam rises
apologizing for nothing.

It was the last sentence
I spoke
It was the last time I couldn’t
bear to look.

Screaming episodes
an ambulance
blood in his mouth
the phone and anticipation
screaming from the top to emergency workers
“Hurry the **** up”

I sat crying on two small steps
trying to accept this desperate shell,
this blind man was my dad.

Two months later, a room full of people
where my friends saw me cry for the first time
trying to accept that some solemn heavy casket
was the same man.

The course deemed easy is the one that reminds you to forget
when things get heavy, suddenly turning to mist
moon face stained my eyes manifest
electric smoke ghost rings
I can feel you climbing up my spine
every cushioned vertebrae in singularity.

please, disapprove of me now
because if I go on carrying
what I believe about you
in the back pocket of my brain
my knee will splinter
my stomach will gorge upon itself
and my eyes will turn back and look at me
like you looking at me
like you dreaming the same dream


now walls imaginable
breathe incomprehensible verbal structures
that lose their meaning
in fuzzy logic
in meaningless dribble
in the future
in the past
the idea of you
and the idea of reality
where I don't have to be distant

butnowstill

I miss your sweet voice
and trying hard not to forget
so that no other person can take it
I'm trying to preserve our words
that at best won't make it
to a new age
to a world that might forget
what it means to love
and slowly be torn apart by it
to reset the sign posts
leading to the center
of a circle reset.

hopefully leading one lost soul
outside, sunrise to sunset
hopefully cracking open the book
that will never be written
and still trying to write it.

Disappointment only occupies a individual span of time
and is then overcome by satisfaction
Satisfaction is then overcome in the same fashion
A generation of fools or maybe it's just me.
Sticking to the plan and accepting
that opinion is fact
following in the foot steps of collapse
thinking they are leaning how to dance.
With so many details involved convinced Death is just
Coincidence with life
just there to balance out both sides
of an equals sign still ending up strapped
for cash and more illusions than the house of mirrors
Losing ourselves in the blind spots of despair
taking turns without looking sounds the safest way
to be a ****** for things with synthesized happiness
I want something more now than just sushi
more passionate than enthusiasm and energy.

Filling up the emptiness with all the things people told me
I should believe in and I would feel better
But soon repetitious days are ending
just as every song heard dies and dissappears
from the range of your ears
no matter the battery or modes of repetition

****, this loneliness is an accident
even though I thought I chose it
I thought I needed it
I feel like the past owes me a more well-adapted present
but it didn't and that's what they say life is
and probably will soon be asking if I make money
or if I'm somewhat satisfied
yeah, I guess so, maybe I could be
But sometimes I can't relate to pride according to my financial state
I don't need ownership over things that belong to everybody
just Imagine a real family.

Retreats are deeper than elusive sleep.
Dying slowly, alone, in front of screens, any screen will do.
Anxious weights in the presence of people I'll never know

To be careless, like them, must be an answer.

Closer than before but still completely out of focus.
Intense wonder has served no purpose.
Bowing out, surrendering beneath thick curtains,
Never knowing true antagonists or faceless oppressors.

Sparing doubt and masks, it will be as a dream,
Without connections, arbitrary relationship is king.

I've ceased my habit of cigarette smoking;
I can smell sun rays melting the tar within streets we've been driving on.
Accumulating debris line the sides of city streets,
Leftovers from a thunderstorm's retreat.

Valleys and mountains seem to have undried green
Patches and dry rivers run temporarily exhilarated;
A swelling rush through landlocked zone,
Becoming such a secretive and succulent oasis.

A Summer season like this symbolically:
Within harsh desolate heat,
Air is voraciously evaporating liquids of life,
Creatures adapted for unpredictability;
Schemes for overcoming, constantly changing.

Somewhat repeatable patterns of Summer downpour seems like a blessing.
A rather rash and quick burst, calling to attention
A reminder that it will soon pass.
Advising to allow any present moment to fully consume your consciousness;
Savoring every solitary drop.

the evening sky
was split in two
by streams of hot water
boiling over the top
of a cloud

stars fascinate millions
from the first one
to show its face around dinner
or driving home
till the moon is setting
and the morning paper
unknowingly arrives

but sometimes they are just noise
that gets captured
and is projected behind my eyes
sometimes i try to keep it there
and hope to magnify
the painting spontaneous
to collide with your soul

keep still long enough
and it starts to move you
the swing of earth
the ancient dance
that drags my feet
to wherever it leads me next.

Plan to kiss no one without secret intent.
Plan to kiss no one without meticulous method
Plan to kiss no one without a hidden plan.

Now
You know
Who you are.

To think I should speak with you
Is pessimist-dismissed
So quickly
The pen drops
Before the thought
Crosses
The multiverse
Mind
Contained
In paper Cranes.

To think you would want
To want
To talk to me
Is so ridiculous
So out-there
So cover-up
Alien-conspiracy-theory
Secret-society
Cryptic-code
Cart­ography.

The phonetic
Background
Of my throat
Shuts down
Shuts up.
Vowels in my stomach
Bunch.
Curves
Of your face
Shadows of your mind
Overlay mine
To camouflage.

I could
And would love you,
Not ten fathoms
But deep enough
So
We are suspended where light waves
Cannot bend
Breaking on coral
Breaking on coma

Waking up sleeping sand.