We used to hear the rain speak
the conversations between teardrops .
the earth
wiped them away with broken hearts

-

if  thoughts of suicide were entertained
it was only because they were liberating
not because they came free

now, nothing is coming easily
I have forgotten how to speak
only panic before my thoughts

It happens all the time
everybody is too drunk to notice

All the magic is gone
Everything once special has no meaning
Location is just a sad dot
on a sad map

all fluid movement is forced
the eyes that I meet
desire only to close
and fall asleep

faces are painted gray
the landscape became bare overnight
no longer did we walk
we simply filed in order
and ended up in the dark

We dropped our pens
and shut the door on life
phone calls were left unanswered

movies, a strange silhouette
music, a single note
clothes, a uniform

we all wanted to cry
but forgot how.
the sensation was remembered
and left before it came

love was a job
and growing up
was just the way
to get there

all sterile
and lost
in the slow pulling
pain.

there aren’t any people left
to say “don’t be angry”
“don’t be sad”

that audience was a universe
inside of an eye
that sighed
stood up
and left.

My heart swells with warmth,
as I find myself astray

this is when I realized
myself as the mystery

I fell in love with a witness
as I suddenly departed
from all the silly acts
I put on,
all the pointless positions
I conformed to.

her smiling face
and my empty body
felt all the factors shrink
and fall behind

the expanse ahead of us
grasped all.

it was undeniable
that should you leave
it would soon follow.

it took only an indifferent moment
to destroy the lovely instruments

however, all these stunning singing voices
continue.
off-key.

At first we staggered and swayed
under the drowsy moonlight,
for what seemed like days
for what melted like weeks
and dreamt like years.

Our trajectory was sufficiently lit,
so we should not trip,
but left us with no idea
where our path would end

The adroit movement of your hand
intertwining mine,
with our fingers laced
urging the palms to read
each other ,
was enough to invite
time to stand still, and secrete

this was the moment was where I was born

and where I should die.

All is lost,
that swirls in the sand.
All is lost,
which swirls.

income
pay for the date
and living in a cab
sleeping in a body bag.

got suits older than you
and listen to this
take your mind off
track

and the record squeaked
the sound of feet
descending down the stairs.
starry eyes gazed upon oceans

sleeping through stop lights
with a pipe-bomb at home.
placing the blame
to take trust away.

living sideways
in a slide
never ending
hide and seek.

sleeping in a tent
down the street from
the next chapter of the picture
in life.

All is lost,
that swirls in the sand.
All is lost,
which swirls

The clock becomes a detachable head.
Acquiesced to the ground
The fragments become priceless.
Wrinkled people grovel over the eager glass
Pick them up and risk the cuts.

Vibrations equalize
and everyone is holding hands
stuffing their distractions and sadness
into a sack
looking into each others’ eyes
blurring the faces into one
letting go is hard at first
but then after it is hard
to keep from spinning out of control.

At first sharing for simplicity
and then in a disease involuntarily
for daytime T.V shows
and self-help-how-to-do-your-life books
by self-proclaimed seers and prophets
reading the palm of your hand
which is also mine
and his.

No time
to stop
not for a second.

you are
the god
and all the questions are answered

you are the ice that covers sidewalks
warmth will defrost thought out actions,
instilling the masterpiece.

Response:
Why not look inside of you?
Are there questions that cannot be answered?
Yes but only because of detail
and the sharp and spiky squares of  
Science.


the dance we learn to stop dancing,
goes on after us and goes on into forever.
like forever may not be there.
it doesn’t seem to note or care
that the space between your two ears.
comforts my neck best
or constellations crossing your chest
constantly suggests no matter the rearrangement
no coincidences are circumstance
I’m trying not to look for it
some reality where I belong

if forever sees it has missed a beat
laughing and playing.
I so obediently repeat
what you’ve so gracefully said to me.
Life is not a sign for anything else.
It is more of  an enigmatic saying from a hermit
below a full moon
purely nonsense insane.
…but realizing the smile with which it was contained.

Overwhelming sense of death.
Consumed my thoughts, my actions.
I grabbed onto anything
and held as The Fall began.

Sudden jolt and I am aware
Soft cries come from downstairs
it is too early, something is instantly
wrong.

The drive to my house is long
the last moments of being blissfully ignorant.

Pull up
the driveway is filled with
cars, I don’t understand.
The front door, rushed,
People everywhere
demeanor drops
My mind races with the Intangibles.

Led away, muffled cries
then panic,
Hysteria, disbelief, dreaming right?

Little brother sits softly on my mother’s bed
he doesn’t understand, I don’t understand
as she tells us about
a heart that failed
a heart that stopped
a heart that was too large, too generous
to handle.

Crying. Stop. Shower
Naked, yelling to a god
that no longer exists
coughing as steam rises
apologizing for nothing.

It was the last sentence
I spoke
It was the last time I couldn’t
bear to look.

Screaming episodes
an ambulance
blood in his mouth
the phone and anticipation
screaming from the top to emergency workers
“Hurry the **** up”

I sat crying on two small steps
trying to accept this desperate shell,
this blind man was my dad.

Two months later, a room full of people
where my friends saw me cry for the first time
trying to accept that some solemn heavy casket
was the same man.

you wouldn't believe the things I haven't seen
like the leaves falling from an autumn tree,
a safe place from closed system entropy
these invisible moonbeams or sincerity.

you wouldn't believe the things I haven't seen
the atomic bomb, thousand suns' blinding clean,
logic in synchronized step to a time machine,
escaping suffocation in a submarine.

you wouldn't believe the things I haven't seen,
the conspiracy concerning love and greed,
the meaningless excusing the mean,
an apple eaten become a seed.

You would believe the things I hear,
falling, the soft drop of a tear,
lies that stem from fear,
laughing, cuts!, and disappears.