I am all but a shell
In my gut, a searing pain


Do you see me?

I feel not the joy in the day's end
Or the fright of the night's silence

I say I am not afraid,
I stand by every word I gave
Yet all the time I tremble,
Scared of the enemies I might make.

I say I  am courageous
That I care not of what they say
As long as my values are kept
Yet the slightest offense, Oh how it make me shake

How strong I try to be,
Yet every time I fail
The sleepless nights have become addicting
Filled with hidden tears and wails so strong.

What choice do I have?
Do I flee or stay, try or move on?

Help, please help me.
The reason is lost, I am feeling choked.
But I cannot tell them, they will not understand.
That every time, I have to drag myself up.

See, life plays its irony on me.
See, despite all of this, I do carry the greatest responsibilities.
That though I may feel dragged, still the anxiety has its greatest weights on me.

Help, a little purpose,
That is all I need.
A little purpose that tells me it is okay,
I can breathe.

Grounds shaking


Waves surging


Fire burning


Thunders roaring


Bones breaking


Lives wasting


Is this the end?
Unfortunately, NOT.

I breathe heavily, almost an impossible task.
Many thoughts cloud me, much obstructions limit my path.


Since when has this become of me,
Until when will this last?

Please.

I long to be once again young,
To be rid of the weight that drags me behind,
To float, fly free, and worry not
And once again treat life as a highway ride.