B etter days please come my way
I can't hold on much longer
P lease I pray everyday
O h how I wish I was stronger
L ord I need your help
A nd for the pain  to go away it just keeps
R epeating the very next day.

A trip to the inchworms outdoors
Let's look at the big , puffy clouds
It's a cat, it's a dog, it's a bird
It's my grandiose illusion
Yea, I agree maybe it's absurd
It's been a long offbeat trip
Socializing and trying to feel adequate

I keep on fighting, holding on tight
Looking for life's purpose
But I can't help to think I'm battling a curse
I say it's all in my mind
My thoughts are my energy
Quickly feelings change
Colors become vivid and intense
People seem happy and chipper
Yet the cycling is never ending
Winter, spring, summer, fall
Until I am barely able to walk
My body slumps into a crawl
The tears in my eyes
The tightness in my chest
I knew this was going to happen
I could have only guessed

But it's ok, the days will get bright again
And the sun will shine again
Knowing that I keep my spirits high
I have conquered so many demons and won
My life is far from being done
I will succeed
I am a fighter, I have fought this far
I will not surrender
Mental illness.. I Declare War !!!!!!

Could not see the light , days repeated .. Nights dragged on. As I continued to fight. The ups the downs, they came they went. But in the end my soul was not content.
I fought myself looking for happiness.
Some piece of mind.
How unfair I was to myself, how unkind
My mind continues to fight and not give up...
I look in the mirror for a real close up..
I start to believe I have been healed. Some dreams I may achieve.
A new state, a new home , a new life. Beautiful days are collected.. Faint dreams of   becoming  a possible wife
Only to see the time fantasizing to be a
waste.. My demons still appear. They were only misplaced.

No matter how much it hurts I do not hate,
You deny you will judge but you sit and wait.
Listening, watching .. When will we see it..
Will we see her throw a fit ?
The stigma is the worst, no way to escape, no where to run. It's no wonder so many reach for a gun.
You can try and fight the disease, fight the battle.. Give it all you got. But change people's mindset , you cannot.
Please don't say it's sad I feel the way I do  or say this is what I choose..Cause if I could I would let you wear my shoes. Not forever maybe a day, maybe a week. How does it feel to be seen as a freak ?
This illness and I have become one in the same,  she and I we have no shame.
Coming out and disclosing your illness some say can help, Yet it brings a sad stillness
The curiosity that runs thru you, the look in your eyes.. showing only the fear your trying to disguise.
It's as clear as a blue sky summers day for me to see.. My wish for u to see love and your fears be set free.
But it's the lack of trust that stings and hurts the most from those we love and are so close.
Still it doesn't get any easier with time, from childhood to adulthood .. The stigma goes on a Lifetime.