i wish
i could just
have
everything

Your heart feels like rubber
When it fills
A balloon when it empties.
Your thigh has fallen against my wrist
And your hand is resting on my hip.
We sit silently
Sometimes I can feel your head
Fall into my hair.
To sniff? To feel?
Black sky surrounds us
And we are in a vortex
We are the only living beings.
Pink Floyd is playing
Softly
From somewhere in the depths
Of the cosmos.
We talk
And listen
For hours.
Far too late into the night.
But when I come home
My core is melting
And the buzz of my high won't let me hear the signal.

"DANGER!"

You use eye contact as a challenge
A stare as a dare.
Your deep,deep voice
Comes from deep,deep within.
I can feel the rumbles where they start.
You keep the conversation focused on others
Or maybe that's just me.
You know
And you see through me
In a way that makes me feel
Both empty and full
Invisible and obvious.

Is he mad at me?
He won't respond to me.
Did he read my mind
And see my questioning my fidelity?
Did I send him a message
Meant for someone else?

Why won't he talk to me?
What did I do?

I
DON'T
KNOW
WHAT
I'M
DOING

I feel so restricted
But theoretically, I'm not.
I just want
crave
desire
A few months of freedom.
To experience something else
Before I settle down for life.
I just want to be able to see
A little bit
Of the world.
I want to see someone else's world.

He needs me to be
And I know it.
He doesn't really know how to be without me.

I wonder if life would be different if he didn't.