I cannot do enough for you, my love.
Or if I can, teach me how!
I know not how to calm the fires they light
Or how to cleanse your mind of their unjust words.
I desire, I CRAVE
To bring you happiness, and protect your soul.
I was never taught how to cure this malaise.
You are so kind, so sweet, so selfless
And the world only exploits your soft heart.
You are my opposite, and I am brought to you like a magnet
But science does not bring me the answer to this problem.
They are cruel to you, they do not respect you.
They don't understand your ways or your dreams.
You deserve a far better life than you have been given
And I desperately hope that one day
I can give you the care that is worthy of you.

You probably have a name like Amber or Ashley.
You probably drive a car made in the 2000s
And like to play popular hip-hop songs on your top forty radio
You know, in that stereo he probably bought you for your birthday.
You work at a temporary job for eight bucks an hour
And during your lunch break you make plans for that night.

You are the basic suburban female
And you exist to be the bar that the rest of us judge ourselves on.
Or at least, I do.
You are prettier than most
Have more money than most
Have more friends than most
And you are the person
Who allows me to think that I can one day be at your level,
Even though it's far from true.

A  book left in my view
A possible display of affection?
Or just a coincidence.
I've written down
My secret love affair
How my soul intertwines with that author's.
How he may be dead, but he makes me feel alive.
Maybe she noticed?
Maybe it's for me?

More likely, I am once again
Pretending the world is made for me.

Franzia oh Franzia!
You are my savior.
With just a box
You clean my slate.
I have no problems!
And no insecurities
I fill up on you
So I don't devour gallons of ice cream.

You save me
From the person I could be
And you raise me
Closer to who I want to become.

I dreamed last night.
Everything I used to aim for
And what I used to believe I could have,
I had.
It was an alternate reality
That made me so disappointed
When I woke and saw it was false.
It was my heaven
Where those hopes I have long put away
Came to fruition.

I
Was
So
Happy

You are the bad seed.
She killed them all.
It happened. What will you do?*

Why do you make me try to reinforce my possible schizophrenia
When you are only here to have fun?

Who cares.
Let's have some *****.

The stale stench of criticism and loathing hangs in the air.
My thoughts are replaced with the cacophonous crackling
Of plastic wrappings.
I think my soul left weeks ago.
My body is run-down and deprived of the necessary fuel to charge it.
The minuscule amount of hope still clinging desperately to life
Is the hope that maybe tonight,
I can get a few hours of blissful unconsciousness;
The hope that the smooth, cool hand of that sweet, sweet death
Will soon calm my aching essentia.