She would hate to hear it, but they are a lot alike.

I will surely pay for this later.

I don't like talking.
Sharing is uncomfortable
Understanding is difficult.

I like to be
a l o n e

It's not meant in offense to anyone
Though I often end up offending when
They make me talk
Or I talk to myself.
I don't really think
Anything sentient is all that great
Including myself...
(Not that I think immobile things are fantastic. They are nothing.)

Socializing is pressure
When forced, I sometimes don't even feel like I'm really there
Being in the same room as others
Cause friction in my brain.
Synapses explode
The tiny unicorns that handle maintenance
Get distracted
Nothing good happens.

I like to be alone
But I hate small spaces.
Therefore, my life is a compromise.

She sits silently
Shellacked, superglued sans sound.
Cornered, Christine clenches
Claws covering cowardice
Comfort.
Taut tongue tangibly taciturn
Turns, transforms til truly torpid.
Silence caused transformation.
She is now an armchair.

Surrounded by noise
People who think
They're better than they are.
They don't stop.
Thisthisthis
Blahblahblah
Unending racket
Awkward sounds
Grating noises
Scraping away at the last of my sanity
And the last of my humanity.

Soon all my compassion will be deteriorated
By the force of your sound.
Then, the world will live in fear.

Chocolate custard
Forgotten high school friendships
They talk. I'm silent.

I never fit in
But they accepted my words
All groups need an ***.

We are different.
I, observer. They, observed.
One relationship.

But it is the past.
I barely remember it.
They consider it real.

Steakburgers and fries.
We pretend to remember
Friendships long-empty.

Oh come on.
Seriously?
You know perfectly well
There's little I wouldn't do
For a klondike bar.

My brain is filled with static


I feel like I'm not here

I feel no pain
I feel no pleasure

How can I tell if I exist...


All I can hear is white noise
runningthroughmyhead
softsoftfuzzfuzz

All I can see is blurs of color
greenandwhitesandbrowns
ohmy

All I can smell is nonexistant
airrushesthroughholes
nothinghappens

All I can feel is without reaction
dryhandscoldteeth
don'tcaredon'tcare

All I can taste is tasteless
coatofliquidonmytongue
pleasantunpleasantneutral




Ma­ybe this is what it's like to be. Or not be.