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The lilies
they formed a curtain
as they crawled far up above the water line
white, light pink flowers
bursting off the green pads
and they, in turn,
bursting off the sparkling waters

The sun was just starting to set
glinting orange blades from
teeny tiny swells

The girl's skin was cream
nervously twitching as it sank into the water
She bit her lips
hoping not to be seen
though the curtain was too think to be penetrated
by anything other than her own kayak
It was a welcome relief
and as she waded further in, slowly, slowly,
silver fish darted away
from her wide thighs
water
at last
I watched them fall
motionless, downward,
arms cast up
waiting for time to start
but time won't move
a clock never ticking forward
Oh the days when I used to go outside!
Scrambling across the rocks of the cliffs
threatening to toss me into the creeks below!
You found things down there
things long lost
the bones of a thousand pets
that the neighbors had chucked over our cliff,
the skulls of Mr. Mittens staring back at me
the death didn't get me
but the low howling of the wind
echoing up from the highway
moaning like a thousand survivors
of something that they should have died for

I was thrown from them only once
and I was trapped for half a day
in an abandoned wine cellar
no one had been in, my dad said,
for at least a hundred years
the mill stones twice my hight
and barrels smashed
ribs of dead behemoths
I was sure I would die there
and some other little girl would find my bones
looks like someone had a monkey for a pet!
and the moaning
it screamed in my ears
until I wanted to join in the chorus

my dad saved me
at half past seven
when the sun was nearly down, his hand plunged through the broken wooden roof
I clung to this grizzled man
like a circus monkey
worst I got were some bug bites
but still I'm wary
of the moans
My baby brother's gone off
on a plane
to way, way down South
He left too early for me to realize
that I
was worried

I've flown alone before
but he;
he's so independent
and that sort of thing can lead to trouble
So now he's off and away
learning how to shoot down jets in Alabama
I hope my air force kid
doesn't get lost
There was poison in the coffee
and i was too shy to tell
there was poison in the coffee
was it my fault?
i can't quite
can't quite recall
suddenly spouting lies
like a whistle
high and shrill
pointing fingers
is that what this poison does to us
first thing awake
it's just the falsehoods of porcelain dolls
and i sure hope that it was
poison
and not just who we are

i was so true last night
my lips formed perfect words
and i was harsh and charming
i meant every thing i said
since the morning i am a liar
and i do not wish to be
but look!
it spreads like a plague!
is it on the wind?
or in the water
like typhoid
carving up our innards
and turning the devil out
please,
let it be the coffee
that much we can cure
My palms are spread wide
and flat
I'm here waiting
is someone coming to save us?
Or do I have to be my own messiah?
I often wonder
what is in my chimney
I know that it's just
bugs
and smoke
that's it
but I expect to see a body
or something nicer
if I  were to push up there
maybe a postcard
or an entire time capsule!
from fifty years ago
saying
Hello!
It's nice to meet you!
With a return address.

Maybe I would find her
the old woman and me
and we would sip lemonade
and sing the songs of June
until the sun went down
and it was time for me to go home.

We would be the best of friends
she'd show me paintings,
I'd write her songs
and we'd both camp out by the rivers
and paint fish and people and space invaders
and laugh when people asked if she was my grand mother
No she'd say
We're best friends
And we would be!
And the Summer would be full!
And I would make her days so much better;
a lonely old woman no more
but my friend.

Anyway.

Any time I stick my head in there to look,
all I get
is a black soot covered face
and a little more jaded.
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