she was so lazy
that the bed swallowed her whole
"Netflix! Come save me!"

Ah, Jacob
I love you
(look! I have personalized my poem! But alas, that means I have isolated
the audience.
By mentioning your name-
such a wonderful name, it reminds me of church bells
Doritos
and a good shower after a long run-
by mentioning your name, I have ensured
that those not in love with a Jacob-
and I pity them, for if they do not have one, they should seriously consider finding one-
Anyway
By mentioning you name, my love
I have ensured that those not in love with a Jacob
will never understand the soaring
joy
sorrow
trust
security
never understand what it is they have just read).

I will burn you in effigy
with all of the hate welled up inside of me
watch and smile as I watch you burn
(maybe I will bring a camera! and some hot dogs!)

This is what they took from me
watch as the remainder of my sanity
float upwards of tendrils of spiraling flames and heat

Oh! Prison box! You hold me no longer!
Tis, by my admission, less than I deserve
But still! White walls! Stretching infinitely stronger,
you have met you match in me! And I shall be gone!
Old enemy of mine,
you are not merely plaster.

He did not come prepared to dance
but then again, he never does
and suddenly finds himself
in the same tux
as always
that is pulled just a little too tight
that was starched just a little too much
and the scratching of the cuffs
reminds him

He always has the same partner
though he never learned her name
some times, he hears her whisper
'Hal'
but that is his name
maybe it is hers too. He never knows.

She wears a light champagne dress
with an iridescence about the aura
that keeps changing
he can't
he can't quite
wrap
his
head
around
it
but she grabs him before he can figure it out
this strange girl
and begins to spin
feet thrown wildly
spinning
she rests one hand above his crotch
it is almost nice
and then he feels the blood
of a stab
to the waist
he can't scream
her lips muffle it
the kiss melts his bones
sets him vibrating fast
she has him tight; one hand wrapped around his intestines and her tongue ****** down his throat and they are still spinning
spinning
until
until
until

The swing set was an old thing
like the brittle bones of an elephant
so worn that it had started to forget;
that's what her Gramma said, at least.
But Calpurnia Gray loved it
sat in it
till the seat sagged before she sat down
inviting her to rest.

Calpurnia Gray preferred the city
but the suburbs were what she got
and the swing set looked over some deep gulch of the woods
where even the suburbs ended.
Wilderness.

It filled her with such strange fantasies
of leaping through the trees like an ape
tearing off her clothes
and chasing down game
like some odd Tarzan with cobalt blue painted toe nails.
That would be the life for her if only she could go back
back
to the wilderness on the other side of the suburbs.
To the place where concrete monoliths lit up the sky at night
and rivers of asphalt carved always changing paths
for some intrepid explorer
to find a new bookstore
or museum
or something strange.

But Calpurnia didn't have either.

She had the suburbs.

And the swing set.

The swing set that always sat there, that never got away
the swing set that was crumbling with time and stagnation
but at least it was what she knew.

Seventeen
still a baby girl in the eyes of my mother
who remembers my blue eyes fresh and wild

I look more wild now
hair shaved off with one streak leaping across
eyebrows always lifted
like an ***, really

To tell the truth, though
I have become meek
and she knows it.