Does it matter if it hurts?
Pain or not
it must be done
cause you and I together,
No longer left
is there any fun.

When the smiles fade,
And tongues cut
Sharper an any blade
When one of us
always feels dis-obeyed
When our bed
somehow seems better
with the covers always made.

Does it matter if it
Still hurts?
Never mind...
I require no retorts.

Mistake after mistake
You'd think I would finally learn
That I always hate it when
My heart starts to burn.

Just like the others
He was not
Is when I find out
Exactly what I've got.

How can I so easily break them down?
I know I must deserve
A crown
The Queen of Overbearing-ness
And it started with
Our first kiss

F*  that award
It's the one thing
I cannot afford

If kismet really exists
Then why
Can I not
Find a heart
Who I truly
Could not resist?

I fall just short on everyone's expectations
Just short-ly after the dead line.
Just short of the finish line
Just short in ALL expectations
Just short regarding all aspects of life
Just short from ever becoming someones wife
Just short of success
Just short of finesse
Just short of being a good part of society
Just sort on being a true friend
Just short of even having a broken heart to mend
Just short on being the right kind of daughter
Just short in being that leader I should of been
Just short I've fallen
Today yet again.

How can you honestly say you
ever loved me?
Especially when you say
the same about the new girl you see?

You believe that I must enjoy
bringing pain to your heart.
Which I cannot understand.
Cause I told you everything from the start.

You say you cant understand why I do the things I do.
I reply always the same.
'My past is to blame'
I tried to explain
I need a man stronger than me.

A man who no matter what
may come to be.
A man who wouldn't lie
A man who always said
'lets give it another try'
A man who would not leave
A man in who I could believe.
A man who wouldn't
give a false start
A man who would help me become whole.
Not tear my heart even farther apart.

A man who would know help is what I needed.
A man who know that
Together there was nothing that
couldn't be defeated.
A man who loved me and me only.
A man who was not a phony.

Know what I got from you?
Believe me nothing new! !
I got the lie fed to me.
A fairytale disguised as
The family I craved.
Instead in it I became enslaved.

Fairytales all end the same.
All end in tragically and in shame.
With ashes after all the flame.

It never changes
It has been the same
now for pages and pages

All of my past stages
who were really
only stooges.
I thought
I had finally made it
to the big time
you know
THE BIG SILVER SCREEN

Then I woke up
and began to turn green
When all around me
all I seen
were
curly larry and moe
How did those ****** stooges steal
my show?
OH NO

To stand
yet take no action.
Be there,
to only in the distance
stare.
Make your morals known
Let yo0ur heart become stone

Take a stand
Do not make any demand
Declare a change
be made
and continue to let
Those images fade

Have knowledge to
Make a difference
for the ones hurt
beyond repair
Just to be fair

Wasted
before I'd even tasted
Knowing
just not going
Trapped
Although
it all seemed mapped

Unable
was it all
just another fable?
Alone
and very much grown

A shell
in an oceanless hell
Tired
even while wired.

Unhappy
Since birth
Life has been ******
Existing while
also resisting

Cold
just craving a
Lover to hold
Done
over before
I have begun

YOU KNOW
Spun!!

trust me
trust you
trust your lie
into me

I pay
as beneath the earth
you lay
I fight to survive
from day to day
as your bones decay
and i pay

I pay no matter how
much to GOD I pray
I still Pay

Everyday i live
I pay
No matter where I stay
everyday I pay