i guess
it was quite foolish,
to think
i could have
warmed your heart
as you did for me.
and maybe to think
that you noticed me
every time i smiled at you,
was stupid, as well.

because a part of me,
knew that you would
eventually leave me here
with mixed emotions
of emptiness and obscurity.
and here i am,
listening to love songs,
about how you could possibly
leave me
with such brokenness
in my heart
and tears
in my eyes.

but the more i think of you
and how selfish
i thought you were,
the more i look at myself thinking,
"why?"
why didn't you
leave me any
sooner?

i think its funny
when those who
get the largest parts
in plays,
only can act on stage.

its amazing
how i am surrounded
by so many actors.
the ones who can put
on a smile,
but are dying on the inside.

and the ones who
seem like the kindest
of those around me,
but end up sending
sending hurtful letters
to those who are dying
on the inside.

and then there are mothers
and fathers,
who seem to be giving
their children
perfect lives,
but when no eyes seem
to be watching,
they give them bruises
and say harsh things.
which causes the children
to send those letters,
which cause other children
to feel like
they are dying inside.

it just makes me wonder
why,
don't these hidden actors
ever audition
for the biggest parts,
when they hide,
the biggest lies.