My secret thoughts reside
in the backyard of my existence
where darkness cries out in shivers
clear to my bones.  
I wake up to find them
packed neatly on shelves in my mind
and wish I could just crawl away,
be left alone.

They come from my emotions,
dressed in sadness
with no intention of ever  comforting
what they transform.
There are days
when they make a decision
to rearrange the places I stand
until I am left without hope,
forlorn.

My secret thoughts are the lyrics of my being
which bid my heart
to walk on a white canvas
of the purest snow.
Oh the damage
that could be done
if I spoke them aloud,
my true feelings revealed
with these eyes full of woe.

I cannot bend or I'll break
so I hide on these shelves
in my mind,
packed neatly away
from all that challenges
my tree of life,
such as falling leaves.
My secret thoughts control
how my tongue refrains
from speech,
So my true feelings,
you will.....
never see.

I want to run away from you
Escape your grasp, escape the truth

Smiling like I've found my king
Holding back one thousand screams

Why does love cause so much pain?
What am I from love to gain?

Gasping, breathless, in the night
Fighting back the coming light

My heart must be a shining blue
Icy, cold. But living, too

Falling through an endless hole
Caught inside your desperate pull

Holding to your biting smile
Our hearts crashing all the while

I want to run away with you-
But only if you run too

The soft light touches me like a breeze,
Like a million gentle kisses on my body.
Rushing at me, drenching me, embracing me.
Rippling as I walk closer,
Swirling over my hands.
My dress becomes heavy with the dew of silver,
Dripping from the hem,
Plashing into little pools by my feet.
It condenses on my skin,
Becoming diamond tears, rolling down my arms and face,
Leaving shining rivulets behind.
My hair flicks the sparkling drops, bejeweling the air as I run
Closer, ever closer into the light.
I open my mouth to laugh.
The sweet light rushes down my throat,
Violently, suddenly, choking me.
I fall among the illumined puddles, splashing, floundering, drowning.
A black wave sneaks over me, I fight it.
Vainly pushing against the tangible darkness
The light! The light is growing dim.
I crawl towards it, laugh turned to scream.
Why won't it save me?


I awake with the taste of a beautiful dream
Broken.
Shining rivulets turned to scars on my skin,
Light to dark,
Love to hate,
How could something so beautiful, be so ugly?