Christin: Poems

3:04

Christin Dec 2013

3:04

It's 3:04 and she pulls out her headphones. The silence floods into her brain, bringing with it the voices of the past, the thoughts of suicide, the feeling of emptiness, the lack of will to carry on, and the evil demons she must battle. It's 3:04 and she pulls out her headphones and reality engulfs her mind like a natural disaster. It's 3:05 and she puts her headphones back in. Another sleepless night.

It's short and simple.

Christin Dec 2013

It's short and simple.

I hear you talk with your friends about how you don't understand how people get so bad they self harm. I have something to say to you that would make you understand. Short and simple: I used to think that too.

You never know until it happens to you.

"look alive"

Christin Dec 2013

"look alive"

I crawl out of bed from another sleepless night. My family tells me to "look alive." But they don't realize how hard that is when I feel so dead inside.

lost soul

Christin Dec 2013

lost soul

Have you ever thought about how odd it is to simply exist? You are merely a soul in a big vast world of lost souls. When you think of the world and how it is green and blue in space and you think of how it aligns perfectly with all of the other planets and you think of how there are billions of stars out there that are larger than you can fathom and then you think of yourself, a lost soul among billions of others of lost souls you just have to think: what's the point of going through this life when I am just another lost soul among other lost souls trying to find their way.

Not really a poem. Perhaps a poetic thought. Written in the midst of an internal battle for my own sanity.

•love extract•

Christin Dec 2013

•love extract•

What you're feeling is not love.
It is love extract.
He extracts the kind words and the romantic actions.
Leaves the rest behind.
The rest is the passion, the caring, the trusting, the genuine loving.
The rest is the love.
What you are feeling is not love.
It is love extract.
You cannot see because he also extracts the hypnotic part.
You are hypnotized by these things.
These promises, gestures, words.
The part that any human can do.
What you are feeling is not love.
It is love extract.

•misfit toys•

Christin Dec 2013

•misfit toys•

She's surrounded herself with misfit toys. And somewhere between the fights, the make ups, the comforting, and the listening... she found that she had become one too.

restless

Christin Dec 2013

restless

It's 5:09 and I can't turn off my mind.

•self destruct•

Christin Dec 2013

•self destruct•

Everyone has a self destruct button.

Some will never know their own. Some will live

In fear. Some mask it, being a glutton.

However, the most I know will relive

The night it happened. A time of weakness

When they pushed it and drove themselves insane.

Each story has a certain uniqueness.

But please, I beg of you, try to abstain

From acting upon the thoughts inside that

Evil brain. Stop forming your fingers in

To guns, instead of that take a look at

The good things in your life that make you grin.

Because you see, everyone has at least one

Good thing that can make them put down the gun.

My first sonnet.

simple sort of love

Christin Dec 2013

simple sort of love

The lights are dim as the film plays. I look at him and he looks at me. Some say we fit together perfectly. I gently rub my index finger over the rough slices on his wrist and he kisses the scars on mine. We are both broken people who picked all our pieces up and fit them together to make a whole.

Needs some work. It's not exactly how I wanted it to sound but I got the idea out there.

•the whole world•

Christin Dec 2013

•the whole world•

You could have the whole world and still not be happy. Because it's not about the material items and the possessions; it's about what goes on inside your brain when no one is there to stop the thoughts from overpowering.

thoughts from an unhappy girl

Christin Dec 2013

thoughts from an unhappy girl

I wonder if my bus driver notices that I always listen to music and never look happy.

I wonder if my teachers notice the red lines on my wrist when I raise my hand in class.

I wonder if my parents notice that their baby girl hides razorblades in her room.

I wonder if my friends notice that their happy and bubbly friend is breaking down on the inside.

I wonder if my classmates notice I hate the way they look at me.

I wonder...

Does anyone notice?

Untitled

Christin Dec 2013

Untitled

We are a rare breed with a peculiar disease.

Untitled

Christin Dec 2013

Untitled

I just wish there was something to look forward to from here. When we were little we were promised endless fun at parties, sneaking out, relationships, and best friends that you can tell everything to. Now that we're teenagers, we do endless studying, mountains of homework, and deal with relentless drama. We're now promised bills that could put you in debt, work every day, and lots of responsibilities. So what's there to motivate you to keep going on with life?

wintry weather

Christin Dec 2013

wintry weather

She buttons all of her buttons and zips all of her zippers but she's too late because the wintry weather had already seeped inside and taken over her soul.

— The End —