Vast, painful nights of not nearly sleeping
Time melts into a bleeding clock face
As the coyotes howl at the midnight sun

Attachment disorder
Adjustment disorder
Waiting and watching
Always questioning
Abandonment?
Not this time
Family begins again

Within my mind
I see you staring
Wide green eyes
In a too-thin face
Always seeking me in the dark

You are me
But your anger is greater
Your slight form reminds me of what was
Your hair cascades beyond your waist
A symbol of the fire within

I talked you out of the shadows
And into the stories
Your voice whispers in my ear
Pen to paper, fingers to keys
I breathe life into who you will be

Three glittering
Golden apples
Hang above your head
Good
Evil
Knowledge of self
All where you cannot reach

Time slowly passes through the x, y, z co-ordinate point
I sleep with my eyes open as the teacher rattles on
She doesn't know the answer
Blue scrawl on a white backdrop
Khaki walls meant to box in our lives
I await the brrrrring of the bell
It will end my internment here

I dream of flying
Like the caged bird, now free
Of pouncing on life
With the roar of a passionate tiger
Of living to the fullest
And standing like a tall pine against the sky

My desired life is not clouds and fluffiness
It is the ferocity of a storm
I do not want shelter from it
Do not keep me in your menagerie
Thinking you can protect me
I do not want it

The skies call to me
The sea sings for me
The forest speaks with me
The world embraces me

I want a crystalline memory of days gone by
Hope to remember me by name
Dreams that conjure up the treasures of the daytime

I want to paint the colour of the sky
To capture a perfect sunset and keep it on a shelf
To hear the ocean call me
To feel the trees embrace me
To see the mountains reach out for me

I want to teach people to think for themselves while they reach for the ends of the universe
My students to know that only they can change their circumstances
To combine their knowledge with mine

I want the twinkle of my sisters' eyes to surpass the stars
A lover as passionate as a stormy sea and as gentle as a summer breeze
To illustrate the book of my life with the love of my friends

I want to seek freedom beyond the sea
To be where nobody knows me and life is new
To know cultures that others find exotic
To breathe in the fog of a place time has forgotten
To live my adventures--not just see them on T.V.