I look in the mirror it's not what i expect.
I see someone that is hard to respect.
I see someone that's thrown his life away.
It's like i've been content with everyday.
But now I've realized I'm not.
And if I stay like this surely I will rot.
I see someone who has aged but not grown at all.
I see someone who trips but never falls.
If I were to hit the ground one time
Would I realize my clock had chimed?
That I can't continue to live like this.
That becasue of my actions I now have someone to miss.
I've finally fallen flat on my face.
Your love is something I can not replace.
And I just sit here looking at this mirror.
Wondering if this is all I have to fear.
I've said alot of things and never followed through.
But all my lies were always right on cue.
It's really cost me this time around.
I took you for granted, loneliness is what I've found.
If I could make this right I would.
But I'm going to do what I should.
I'll never forget you that much is true.
But the tears I've cried are through.
Maybe soon you will see.
That you really are meant for me.
And that I'm not the person I was before.
That this relationship won't be a chore.
I know this will take time so you can see.
How much of a change there will be in me.
Never again will my words hurt you.
All my negativity is through.
So now as I look in the mirror.
Everything before me is clear.
Change this thing that you call life.
End all the fighting and strife.
Then maybe one day we can be.
Happy together without a plea.

Oh my lover, where have you gone?
I’ve been searching far and wide from dusk until dawn
Oh my lover, where have you gone?
You hold the key to my heart
Around your neck the string that it is on
If you don’t love me then just give me the key
Let me unlock my heart
Let it be free
Oh my lover where have you gone?
Yesterday you were here,
we made love on the lawn
It seems tonight you have finally disappeared
What replaced you is everything I have feared
Lonely, heartbroken sadness as taken your place
Guilt and burdens replace the smile on your face
But, oh my lover where have you gone?
My heart is weak so the line I have drawn
Bring me back my key I need to unlock it
Fill it with new light like a plug in a socket
If I don’t get it back my heart will surely break
Reminds me of arguments
All you do is take, take, take
Oh my lover where have you gone?
You must be far away, eons and eons
My heart is torn now right down the middle
On minor details I’d rather not piddle
Oh my lover where have you gone?
Alas off to find another man
None of the brains all of the brawn

I got an aching in my bones
I need you
I got an aching in my bones
I want to feel you
The feeling is so strong
Hitting me with your cyclones
I brace myself for their power
But they continue by the hour
I got an aching in my bones
I long for you
I got an aching in my bones
I want you
I’ll throw the sticks
You throw the stones
Let’s break these aching bones
Spirits are one, above the gravestones

Sometimes I stare at the stars
Just a light to my world that remains ajar
And I sit outside staring from afar
I have dreams of writing, talking, and spreading love
These choices have been given from someone above
Addiction and sadness have caused such a mess
And yet through it all, I feel blessed
I have so much and give so little
The lives that I've broken were very brittle
But facts of my past I'd rather not piddle
I'm stuck in the middle
The stars
Oh the stars
They make you forget everything.
Whether they are big and bright like texas.
Or they resemble the lights on that brand new Lexus.
Comfort is all they bring
You can't be sad looking at stars
They're like a door to happiness left ajar

The rain clouds form just above my head
Waiting, listening, praying that the sky opens
I want the world to cry like I have
I want the world to know that I have given everything
It is a painful moment realizing you are alone
Disconnected from everything and anything you love
Phones, webcams, letters make no difference
You need to feel the warm embrace of your lover
You long for the moment when you see your dog smiling
I feel these things and yet I feel nothing
There is a sickness growing in me
Like it has been fertilized and watered daily
I want these feelings to stop
I don’t want to be a million miles from what I love
I have no options, I must wait
Being alone has caused only problems
Problems that I want to be done with
Being alone made me love drugs
Drugs aren’t people
They aren’t capable of hurting you
Unless you want to quit
Then drugs take every sad thing you’ve told them
Every tear you’ve cried to them
And use it against you
Remember when you were on drugs?
You were happy, you were carefree
Just come back
I can’t go back to that life
But in reality I’m still living it.
I can’t get those thoughts out of my head
I can’t become the person i was because
I’m broken
The rainclouds stay above my head
Looking like they are going to burst and rinse me of my fears
Alas, they just pass over and leave me to cry alone for years