I feel like I live in a little glass box.
Can you hear me?
Can you see me?
Most days I don't remember
if I ever existed.
I walked into a crowded room
and I thought I said hello.
But not a single head was turned
as if my words were never heard,
they never left my mouth.
I drifted lazy 'round the room,
smoke from cedar pipe.
I passed between bodies statuesque,
really more like trees,
ne'er a word was spoke to me
ne'er a soul had noticed.
Just as quick as I'd appeared
I made my silent leave.
A leaf dropped on a placid lake
a ripple gone unnoticed.
I feel like I live in a little glass box.
Can you hear me?
Can you see me?
Most days I don't remember
if I ever existed.

I am,
just a surragate
the Universe chooses, at random,
to impregnate with
the ideas of time eternal.
This stick of lead, the narrow
birth canal through which these
words must pass
as I, with trembling palms
and sweated brow, force my hands
to shape the words as quickly as I pass them.
But my hands are clumsy things.
This paper is the birthing towel
on which these words breath first life.
And when I step to the mic to
speak these words,
release these words like one million birds
set free from cage
one butterfly break of cocoon,
each one set forth with their own intent
to heal or harm
to love or ****,
I pray these words remember the time
I spent coddling and caressing
chastising and correcting,
shaping them into the
clicks and tones and dips and moans
you will recognize as poetry.
Simple words clothed in similes and metaphores.
But my words
are week.
They hold no power outside of intent
can't hold you captive without your consent.
For when I speak these words
into existence,
I send them off as dandelion seeds into the
wind to land where they may.
For I am merely
a surrogate the Universe chooses, at random,
to impregnate with the ideas of time eternal.
I am merely a poet.
Nothing more
and probably much less.

Was it love?
Was what we did last night really love,
or were we just *******?
Because your daddy is screaming
that we were just ******* to be *******
and that our little three minute excursion
couldn't amount to anything.
Something inside me, call it foolish pride,
wanted to say that it was actually closer 
to twenty-three minutes.
But if you take out all the pauses of
trepidation and uncertainty then you're
probably right.
Your mother's crying her baby is a *****
her baby is a ***** ***** *****.
But see I'm confused.
When I hear *******, i see two people
throwing caution and their clothes to the 
wind as they gorge themselves on carnal delicacies.
But what we had was different.
What we had wasn't a mad dash
to the sensual finish line.
What we had was more like a slow
stroll through the garden of ecstasy
as we sampled the fruits of sensation
our hormones whirling and singing
about us like nightingales in the pale pale
moonlight of your smile.
I still remember the soft cotton of your
comforter, a stark contrast to the 
hard facade I tried to hastily construct.
A boy trying to emulate the icons of
masculinity.
So I tried on Usher's bravado sitting
legs splayed wide. I even licked my
lips imitating LL Cool J. But they
didn't fit me. They hung around my
awkwardness like the boots you were
wearing hung around your slender legs
more suited for running scared into
your daddy's arms than trying
to walk into "womanhood".
Each step infantile and uncertain,
uncertain of yourself and the situation at hand.
And if you hadn't been so scared,
you would've noticed that my
walls, hastily constructed of sand,
began to fall with your shirt to the floor.
And you would've noticed my
eyes darting back and forth in the sockets
pacing like the scared animal I really was.
My mind weaving webs of confusion with
each tendril spinning off into the possibilities.
What if I'm done too soon?
What if she laughs at me?
What if I'm not big enough?
What if I get her pregnant?
Will I still love her?
Do I love her now?
What if I don't meet her standards?
Wait, she said she was a ****** she wouldn't have standards yet,
would she?
What if she isn't a ****** like she said?
How would I know?
What about STD's, we did get tested right?
Yeah, two weeks ago in a clinic on Panola Rd.
Were the test negative or positive?
OH ****.
Her bra is off and I've never been this close
to a naked breast before.
Well when I was a baby, but then I was more
concerned about what was coming out of them
and is that a freckle above the left
******?!
And in that cacophony of confusion
you placed one finger on my chest and
quieted my storm
like mother to child you calmed me down
like Jesus on Galilee you quieted my storm.
I placed one hand on your chest and discovered
the same staccato pulsing through you.
And as I penetrated your inner sanctum
we both inhaled
sharp
deep
invigorating
as we breached the surface of the sea of
infatuation and breathed the life giving air
of ****** awakening.
Our heart beats raced
like Sea Biscuit at the Kentucky Derby
with the intensity of one thousand
birds in flight
until they began to slow and find their pace.
Our bodies followed suit, mimicking the rhythm
of two hearts beating as one and rocking
back and forth
back and forth
back and forth
as we rowed through ecstasy having the
best ******* time of our lives.
But there goes that word again,
and I'm still confused so you tell me.
Was it love?
was what we had really love,
or were we just *******?

Have you seen my God today?
It seems that i have lost Him
and cannot find him anywhere.
Not in verdant fields
nor rolling hills
or leafy trees He lies.
I search and search
And search
But still I cannot find Him

I searcheth high
and looketh low
but I do not find Him.
The oceans roar in consternation,
the ponds have no reply.
The rivers, streams, and little brooks
whisper He has died.

Where is He who has said
He's all encompassing?
Without a compass or a map
or even astrolabe,
He's lost in His design.

Drip drop
pitter patter
the sound of kitten's feet.

Woosh Swirl
the wind tells
the sound of secrets sweet.

BOOM BOOM
thunder claps
the sound of sweet release.

Flash twirl
lightening dances
across the city streets.

A bridge reached out across the water,
gnarled metallic fingers
Connected to a fractured concrete arm.
Rain has washed away your face, left mascara down your side.
Neglect has robbed you of your
grandeur, stripped you of your garrish ornimentation
your ribs jut out from beneath
the skin, or the patches that are left.
Sunlight dances playfully in the
bullet holes burned through by Time's gun.
Forgotten by man and time alike,
consoled only by the gulls and pigeons,
even they leave their mark of
defecation.
A squalid end for one once so beautiful,
to die an old maid,
slowly falling
bit by bit into the foamy wash below.

I was there before the beginning
Before the conception of time and space,
when nothing was everything
and everything was nothing.
In vain I waited for you to materialize
from the ether of emptiness
But you never came.
So there I stood, waiting...

I was there at the beginning
At the conception of time and space
when everthing came from nothing.
I saw the sun, or that condescent
swirling cloud of dust that was
to be the sun.
I saw the earth, a miniscule ball
of molten, boiling, writhing anger
I was there when everything, but
you emerged from nothing.
So there I stood, waiting...

I was there at the edge of an
undulating mass of the pimordial ooze,
that sea of everything and nothing.
I saw pleaseasaur ribbon its long,
shiny, black body through the fathomless
depths of the sea
Searching, as was I, for something.
I saw stegasaur, that lumbering
hulk of muscle and scale
take its first precarious
steps onto land
looking, as was I, for something.
Every creature, but one-the one
I wanted, stepped forth
from that roiling soup.
But you never came.
So there I stood, waiting...

I was there when neanderthal
first discovered fire.
I saw that temptress dance
across the contours of his rough,
wind hewn face.
I saw his eyes sparkle as
he and I gazed longingly
into the yellow, red dancer's lair.
Both searching for something
or someone.
I stared and stared hoping
to catch the slightest glimmer
of your eyes.
But you never came.
so there I stood, waiting...

I was there when Egypt and Rome
first peeped their heads
from the cold ground surrounding their feet.
I was there as those stone goliaths, pyramids,
grew block by block
layer by layer
stretching, reaching, longing for heaven's basement.
Just as I longed for you.
I saw Rome's aquaducts,
seemingly endless terracota snakes,
slicing through the eons
blindly feeling for something.
Just as I searched for you
hoping you were searching for me.
But you never came.
So there I stood, waiting...

I was there when we almost killed
the human race, for the second time.
I stood at the entrance to Auschwitz
scanning the multitude of
worn, sullen,destitute face
hoping, praying you weren't there.
Thank God you weren't there.
So there I stood, waiting...

I am here.
In a cold place made of lifeless,
emotionless steal and glass.
I watched as heartless obelisks
devoured the cozy bricks of ancient
neighborhoods. Signaling the undaunted
march of father time.
His harried pace, defies his antiquated frame,
drains my fortitude.
but step for step
night and day
day in and day out
I will wait for you.
So here I stand, waiting...