Sloppy steps
take a walk out the door.
Take a little sample for something more.
Give yourself a look around.
                  Take a spin; round and round.
          Slip, trip, and find your path.
Off for a ride; outward bound.
Freezing rain & slippery streets;
beats the hell out of
dingy air and stained sheets.
Unknown figures and shivers
in your spine.
Capturing images for a story in
                                 Better Times.

I've got a boneless back
& vision hazed black
around the edges.
Pushed to the edge
& back around again.
A beginning never marked;
shrouded in fog.
Cluttered thoughts at home
w/ no cause to listen.
Glistening with an utterance
                      of time ill spent;
orchestrated within a hollowed head.
All power to the engines.
Full speed ahead.

Reoccurring themes and
new beams of light breaking through
the cloud cover to shine down on
the streets and trees around me.
Casting a shadow where my
stillness used to be.
But for me,
there's a theory left in there
& you'll see the trees begin to bend.
Tend to the seams
& trap the light.

That's enough food for thought.
Take a swing at it, she said.
                                                 You're good enough
to get something done.
There's a fluttering in your eyes
& a coldness in your sighs.

Black cat omens &
black cat fireworks
scattered about the porch.
My house: packed to the gills
with sand and dandy little
tangled rubber band *****.
What does this mean &
why bother with finding out?
Just in general; ask around.
Southbound and moving fast
Don't look back but watch your backtrack.
I'll have another drink or two
before this night is through.
No doubt.

I've heard a story that is so pure and cold
it must have been harvested in a sunless
ice age.
_______
Kindred and distilled spirits,
seeping through the cracks in the
strangers backs and colliding among
the beds of the deep blue.
Blue eyes and stormy skies
making a flood on the floor.
Close the window and open the door.
I've never
                  spaced my questions
as they could be; all the words
where they should be.
I've never been to a place
that's made me feel insignificant
What's the trouble?: Now I'm here
and I'm not being subtle.

I hope that my heart is still beating
when you awake and start breathing again.

I'm drunk and I'm drunk with bitterness.
One lucky man he must be;
seeing you by his side in the morning
as I once did.
How am I? My pals ask.
Never (getting) better.

Out of food for thought and the stores are closed.
Closed eyes and sighs tonight.
Tomorrow I'll go shopping for an idea or two;
mending my inspiration with tape and glue.
dot dot dot dadot dot. tap tap tappy.

We're so much sleepier than we used to be.
So drained, so strained,
                 so uncreative.
It's been a blast while it's lasted,
but at last, perhaps it is time to quit.
Quit running in circles looking for miracles.
New things and new beams of light
will ignite (the tender) and give us
our sight.
(Or at least I hope.)

Fickle gleaming light once shown bright
through the tunnels of your eye holes;
dreaming and deeming yourself truthful
in action and fastened in your traction
                             (on the Traveled Path)
A refraction, split in two.
Mind soaked in indecisive dew.
At a loss, where do the paths cross?
Crossing your mind, two zig-zagging,
                              spiraling,
                                              constantly
                              colliding
comet tails leave debris that hails
down on the soft and welcoming
surface of the brain.

Mishaps and mispronunciation,
messy rooms and messy beards,
crops and crop duster airplanes.
Too many insiders,
too many to count.
We counted on the fresh air
in our bike tires to get us out.
Out in the open world,
the woods, the fields,
the lakes, the ponds,
the Indiana bonds
too tight to ignore.
A prison with open doors
if nothing more.

Slippery roads throwing you off track,
falling backwards, flat out on your back.
Sights and sounds fading out;
                   down for the count.

Sleep tight and eat right.
Spend each night thinking about
                                  the right track
Track your steps back through
the slushed snow and gravel dusted road.

Your abode; long gone, burnt black from
firey lights shone bright through the fog of dawn.
No more thoughts of home,
                                                 just the road to roam.

Unhinged again.
Tired and untied,
loosely bundled,
huddled and dodging
rain puddles.
Cold cement, slick and
unforgiving, giving you
sweet/sour visions of
each year gone past.
Longing to be home at last;
warmth and a television broadcast.
Something remains.
Some distance retains
its unsympathetic pains
embedded in the grains of your being.
Being so cold, coy, together, but alone
for the long winter to come.

My eyes have wandered
to the woods and back to
where we could and should
have spent our evenings, nights,
and seen the morning
lights through the naked limbs
as our limbs remain tangled
among the root mangled soil.

We haven't gone home yet;
but will we ever?
Will we bother with it?
Are we best left alone (lost)?
Keeping hushed and brushing
(away) each other's (troubles)
hair our of our eyes.
The heart only ever tries.
(and beats on until it dies)

There's too many stars
to pick just one to wish on.
Take a second to think about
a wish you'd like to have come true,
and maybe it'll go a bit something
like this something I've got in mind.
I've been thinking about the forgotten
thoughts and doubts and realizations
of my yesterday and last year plus
two or three more, and for whatever
and why ever it's worth anything,
I'd wish for something magnificent
to happen again and again in your life
again and again until it gets old,
until you get old and each new
pair of dogs you buy
die and die again.
Perhaps,
you'll find something worthwhile.

I'm currently tuned in;
into something I've been listening
out for and hearing in my sleep.
I've become accustomed to your
customs and your attitude(s).
The news and the new ideas
bounce off mine and your
skull(s); ricochet back down the throat.
Think of a voyage into the knowing
unknown. Be willing to find a new home.

We've all lost our spark.
Maybe a new start on an old habit,
clarity for a change, all the same
blamed, framed, and insane.
Time to call in the strays
a game, a laugh for the blues and the blue jays;
the good old days that never came.

All the leaves are turning
gray as your blue eyes
were on me across the room
watching the door close on
my skull. I felt the thought
weigh down on my feet as
I sank to the bottom of your
lung, filled with sand and water.
(Escape.) Now
floating to the surface of your
eyelids to see your face
turn left towards the
bloodshot sky.

My dreams spend the night with you
and mix themselves into your sleep.
They nestle up into your sweater
until you can't dream any better.

Cry out your heart while it pumps blood out your eyes.
We've both been ripped apart and sewn together with
eachother's parts. Now your blood flows through me;
slithering through my veins like snakes from hell.

I can only hope that (my) life
doesn't wind out of control
or wind up killing me dead
(er) than a doornail to a door
to someplace better than anyplace
but here.
I have to keep the faith.
(in myself and my fellow humans)
We don't know any better
so we judge those
who don't know
any better.
(Anyone can do better.)

Times have changed;
we're not so topsy-turvey.
Well calculated always,
cautious in all ways.
Take a deep breath (and)
a deep dive through
the eyeball into the mind.
Float around forever;
bouncing off my
thoughts & ideas.
Swim, little mermaid.

I can feel the grinding
   (tearing and ripping)
             (apart)
my nervous system.
Out here in this deep black;
not a soul speaks back
to the whispers or the shouts.

I've been lost before,
but never past the confines
of my own imagination.
I am (lost) outside.

Sometimes it's better to sit and wait;
there's too much weight on the strings
in that mind of mine.
I've seen too much. (too fast)
I haven't sat long enough
to make any of it last.
(You've ran past.)

I've spent a night in the woods;
laying on a bench, looking at
meteors,
    thinking of the coulds and shoulds.

I've lit more campfires than I can count.
                             (I've never lit one with you)
I've climbed trees; dead, rotting trees.
Skipping rocks and laying out creek
soaked socks to dry, but I've never waded in
the water with (you) my hands in the air,
hooting and hollering at the stars.
I wish each day had been ours.
(as well)

(light candles and stare at the flames)
Black dots blot out your face.

I used to be (quite) a bit more free.
I never had a care.
Older now,
            I try not to have a care.
But,
            I care way too much.

You seek out some therapy,
then we'll talk again.
I've said it; you make
my mind bend and spin.

You take a trip,
and when you come home
we'll patch up the rips
and spend some time
alone.

You're a strange breed.
You look out past my street
         (when I'm fast asleep)
With the moon reflecting in the puddles
in the corner of the street,
Or, the corners of your corneas.
                             (tear puddles)
Until your vision is mottled and
your sobs muffled. Continue
to stare out your window (forever)
Keep looking until you find something
better.

Crawl through the wormhole;
Alice down the rabbit hole.
Morpheus and his red pill,
slip and trip
into an alien land.
Search and discover,
explore and uncover.

This is not an option anymore. ----------------
                                                                          
Rotten apple life, -----------------------------------
tree fall breeze.
Grass landing,
worm food
for life.

We've all been snuffed out and gobbled up; spat out,
trampled and crushed, beaten and strung up,
**** on, rolled into a ball, kicked in the
teeth, burnt to a crisp, ripped up,
strangled, cut to pieces,
and left to bleed
out.

Too bad, no solution;
only a personal solution
to this mental pollution.

I've looked for a better way,
but I've been shot straight out
(of the sky)
Out, exposed to the elements.
Out, with a tree and a fern.
Out, dedicated and elated.
Out now,
with a fire and an urn.

Nothing I say is funny,
but somehow it's hysterical.
I hear whistling in the morning,
but I don't see the whistler.

Go jog; then to a sprint.
(through a slaughterhouse)
Tell me, can you imagine yourself?
(covered in insects) Rotting between
the ears,

Do you ever find yourself trying?
                                      (too hard)
                                               (way too hard)
Trying to account for lost time.
Wake up at 1 a.m. -getting shocked.
Feel your heart (sprint) and stop on a dime.

Feel your heart stop (once in a while)
Learn to love what's good and good for you.
No rotting out. More speaking out.

Nothing I say is funny,
but somehow it's hysterical.
I hear whistling in the morning,
but I don't see the whistler.

I've been spending my time more wisely;
staying lively and bundled.
Sometimes your eyeballs dance. (so surreal)
Eye've been looking and looking. (for something real)
Too bad it's been found (out) and
these days there's a lot to learn about.
                                             (new things)
Keep on keeping on;
rolling on and playing (music) on.

I've slipped off and I've flipped off (my heart)
I've gotten lost and stayed in the trees with a fire.
                                          (reflecting in my eyes)
A small torch in my hand; a dancing liar.
Here we go again: a pulling on my mind's feet.
A loose foothold. A loose willpower.
That **** book about a wallflower,
nostalgia brain, going insane. (quite literally)
I've got some shaky hands but a sealed mouth.
The old soul is a cold soul headed south.
This trip will be a bourbon; properly aged.
No one knows. No one knows. Know one that knows.
That was the night everything changed.

Camping; facing the wind.
Feeling all too safe; sleepwalking
                                    (now and then)
There's something to be said about a foundation.
(a strong one)
and there's something to be said about a dedication
to a flimsy one.
A road trip or an expedition?
A day dream or a premonition?
Take baby steps (toward big steps)
Take what you want (need) from this and (life) everything.
Smirk and scoff when you're smirked (and/or) scoffed.
Biting your tongue (off) now;
not sleeping at all somehow.
Coffee brain like a crack ******* flame.
                                       (do not condone)
Unwind your sanity to keep hunkered down
in what is real and more full-heartedly genuine
than any other known human experience.
(live)
        (die)
               (get read about)

Learn to go to a different place.
Learn to read eyes and give space.
Build and sleep. Drink and eat.
It is your words that make me speak.

(heart)

I've seen limonade spilt down the sewer
and down the drain. (life limonade)
These limons have long past rotten.
Stale, and forgotten; limonade spillway.

I wouldn't be satisfied with the quality of that limonade.
(not at all)

Einstein smoked a pipe.
Wet stones for the ivy knives
keep the jungle clean shaven.
Stay dressed for work.
"What line of work are you in?"
"Marketing, old boy."
He didn't wear a beard to work;
neither does the jungle these days.
Einstein smoked a pipe.

You're going to make me lose my mind,
but I'm okay with that. I love you for that.
Take me someplace new. Set up a homestead
                                                (under my skull)
Plant your garden on my sara bellum. Grow.
Let's **** my life and make a baby.
Bring it up in a new home;
a home in the mind (my) forrest.
Building, building, and building.
                                              (something worthwhile)
I'll take you to the hardware store.
Climb a ladder over me; or a dozen
each taller than the latter.

(stay tall)

Make that a mental note.
Make a connection to their functions.
(Parallel traits; perpindicular to the global eyesight)
Take a look into the brainWINDOW.
Take a book from the thoughtLIBRARY.
                                                    Steal flimisy ideas.
Craft a fort of implementation.
Try hard. Try harder.

Spin me out of this world
                                         Blow my mind.
There's something better to experience.
You're stuck. Stuck. Stuck. Stuck. Dead.
Stop listening to what you want to hear.
Hear what you need to hear,
see what you need to see.
Be what you need to be.
Some hear truths (and lose themelves)
              Hear truths. Find truths.
                   (Close your mouth)
Open your mind.

Where have we been?                           (lost)
You and I are trying our hardest.        (to get lost)
Busted, falling short. Trying and trying.
                                                                Giving our all.
Sped up, running. Knowing. Craving the unkowing.
                                                                (lost)
Cut down a dead tree; make a fire live.

Splitting hairs and stepping on toes
Pulling teeth and breaking bones
Biting and fighting. Killing and dying.
My heart is hard as nails and your eyes are lying.
Wasting time, killing time, and ******* with my time.

I'm leaning on a crutch
to help me stay tall.
Slender, tall mind
Short, fat heart.
Eyelids: much like the mind
(a projector screen for my dreams)
When I speak,
I read the scripts of the movies;
whatever movies I've been watching.
Subconsciously, all conversation is a mere recap,
a synopsis of the film I watched the night before.
A real spoiler to the listener. I'm a movie ruiner.

I'm the only one who sees the works that I spoil.
                         Thank god for that.

**Disclaimer: I just spoiled a movie for you.

Broken, life seeping.
Gutsy and lawless:
Gunpoint switchblade
Only seeing, never sleeping.

Groan and crawl, muck and mud
Run and ****. Push my luck, down over.
Over and over again. Head over heels
Brain splatter banana peels.

Spacey air, musty sight.
Cold nights in the cold earth.
Bent and spent, came and went.
Statement of your rebirth.

Voices drowning down salt streams.
Craters on Retna Moon; green beams.
Too many visitors. No hesitation.
Sleeping beauty, my proclamation.