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Chris Hollermann Sep 2014
We grew up together
In sunray symphonies and sleepover sunrises, we grew
Only as children can, without regret of so many yesterdays or fear of the future and it’s guaranteed pain

We played together
On glimmering snowy hillsides and golden pastures
You pulled my hair and I cried, years later you lost yours, and I cried

We’d almost done it, made the passage to adulthood
And then it was the cancer that grew
Without fear or regret you fought
It took away your youth but you only smiled, the smile of faith, of angels
I cried the tears of lost yesterdays and dark tomorrows, I cried the selfish tears of people
And when the prayers and medicine stopped helping, it was you who cried
The sorrowful tears of the heavens, of the loss, of the end
- From A Journey of Self to Self
Chris Hollermann Sep 2014
The midnight canvas with it’s beautiful truth paints us a masterpiece and openly I talk to you
The silent night protects us and hides our insecure fears, both of each other and nothing
In the line of tomorrow becoming today and today yesterday the sense of clarity becomes confused
But at midnight it seems to breath, the skeleton of me starts to take shape
A calmness filled with an anxious appreciation of fate, to sweet to feel without fear of permanent escape
And I ask in the sense of an invisible companion, When does it click or all fall apart?
Why don’t you answer in my enlightened dark?
And how do I believe, hold faith and still fail to find my voice
Then the clock moves, everything’s shifted to the edge
I know it’s approaching, the time the darkened shield’s gone
I hold on as long as I can without it being said until through nonverbal communication our openness halts and we drift away to an understanding saddened state
Our midnight’s gone and to speak would only make it break
So we sleep dreams of the next midnight fate
- From A Journey of Self to Self
Chris Hollermann Sep 2014
I knew then what I’d think now
A pre-chosen idea like an infected wound opens up and feels brand new
The burning unexpected taste of a drunken release disappoints and leaves me here

I knew then
What I’d think now.
- From A Journey of Self to Self
Chris Hollermann Sep 2014
An emotional investment left me bankrupt, things shattered
Apart we’re left in pieces on the floor shattered once again, once more
The shards of the past touch my trusting hand not to touch in the end we understand
But at present state we’re lost among the shimmer
The shimmer, sparkling face of a porcelain doll, painted to please, hallow, spots missing, taped up, broken
Take up the drug of Gods, sanity’s sweet nectar
Fill your holes with liquid and be fulfilled.
- From A Journey of Self to Self
Chris Hollermann Sep 2014
It pulled me under with ease, like I had no where to be
It sang its sad siren song
I fell to my knees as the pain clouded over and pretended to be fine, as hope disappeared
The hearts shattered and hid as cancer showed it’s hideous head
The prelude of misery
22 year old on the way to save a burning home, to stop the disappearance of someone’s memories
Left him to walk through ours

I breathe still but it’s no longer light and airy
It’s heavy with misery
It’s aged from the loss of innocence and it only pushed out to survive
- From A Journey of Self to Self
Chris Hollermann Sep 2014
The strings
The notes
All familiar to me
Along the road
That’s been traveled on
And the one I've yet to drive
My therapist
My friend
As soon as I hear
That first string
I know
I'll be
- From A Journey of Self to Self
Chris Hollermann Sep 2014
The cello strings dripped of rich resonance as the bow glided gracefully across the string like hope on the breeze
Capturing every heart and connecting every soul in the room to one unified moment
Every breath rest on the edge or release as each instrument came to life, saturating the air they wipe away our past, every imperfection, renewing us
Breathing life into our tired flesh, giving us a sense of the dreams we once held and the stars we believed we could reach creating hope for new possibilities, for new beginnings
Long after the final note faded the music rang, as we all moved back to our small worlds and personal sorrows, it rang
Forever in us, it rings
- From A Journey of Self to Self
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