It's Christmastime again
The time for last minute shopping and cooking
The time for seizure-inducing decorations and migraines brought on by obnoxious laughter
The time for grandma to pinch cheeks and uncles nagging about your love life
The time to be alone with family and just be alone
Yeah, it's that time again
It's Christmastime again

I know I don't say this often
And I know that I should
So let me start by saying, Mom,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I'm sloppy
I'm sorry I'm insane
I'm sorry that I stress you
I'm sorry I'm a pain
I'm sorry I'm not grateful
I'm sorry you're not proud
But I need you more than ever
To get me off this cloud
I never meant "I hate you"
I'm sorry for those words
But I really need your help, Mom
To take away the hurt
I'm bleeding from my wrists now
I don't know what to do
And this may not be the best way
To tell you, "I love you"
But I really have to go now
Don't forget me when I'm gone
Just please say you forgive me
For all the **** I've done.

Ten minutes
Ten minutes till my shift starts
Ten minutes to think of the hours spent thinking of you
Ten minutes to try and figure out how this, we will work
Ten minutes to think of the tens of thousands of reasons I want you
Ten minutes to dread the millions of reason why we can't be
Ten minutes to try to forget briefly how I feel about you
Ten minutes to pull myself together
Ten minutes to tell you for the billionth and last time, "I love you"
Ten minutes

Your eyes freeze my soul and warm my heart.
Your smile burns through thought and cools my mind.
I don't know you, but I could spend a thousand lifetimes with you.
I can't touch you, but I'll hold you in my heart forever.
You say that I can find better, but I don't believe it.
You say that you're a mess; well, I'm a mess too.
Let's get messy together

Wake up and tell me what you see
The time for dreams is over
No more pain or suffering
No more joy
No more happy or sad
Good or evil
Just being
Just seeing
Just knowing
Just loving
Loving for the sake of loving
Loving for the chance of being loved
Being loved so that you can see
So now close your eyes
And tell me what you see
Now close your eyes
And wake up.