Today i found myself teetering on the edge of a pavement slab.
The edge of reason itself.
Feet half grounded half suspended in air, waiting for instruction.
If i took just a small step forward, i would be greeted by an unyielding, unmerciful Metal Machine ramming into my legs and chest.
Questioning then, whether i would be entering a whole world of agony
or if the pain would finally cease to exist.
This small step just became the biggest, most defining moment of my existence.
‘Do I want to be welcomed by oblivion with open arms?
Give Death the satisfaction that another helpless victim had succumbed to his games and torment?’

Maybe.
Maybe not.
Maybe I would finally find the meaning of life- living and thriving through Death.

The pursuit of happiness is hidden under the hood of Suicide, now all I have to do is wear the cloak.
eyes closed,
mind blank,
nostrils flared and chest inflated- one foot reaches out…
Desperately groping the empty space…

Let's play a game.
A guessing game, Only a few rules applied.
Number One: you listen and I dictate.

My victims can be found residing in a cage of white washed walls,
A place where the clinical sting burns your eyes,
and the once evading smell of **** is turned into an established perfume of solace.

I have the power to turn a fruitful mind into a cavity of nothingness
A once hero, into a point-blank Zero.

I Will take the ‘Fight’ from a Firefighter to leave only a burnt out carcass.
I Will steal the tongue of even the Most eloquent of speakers and turn them into a babbling bumbling fool.

I have the amazing ability to make You overlook Your own child.
What are memories for when I can make them disappear? Make You forget.
Faces that were once recognisable- Your Mother, Your Lover- Now Strangers.

But wait! A glimmer!...A glimpse of your old self before I consumed you...
I let you see what you once had. Let you remember.
It’s all part of the fun, I like to see the hope shine in the eyes of your loved ones before I steal You once more…
The mind again an abyss.

What Am I?
Yes you guessed it…
I Am Your Worst Nightmare.

I lay amongst the wet dew-dipped grass
Thinking of you
Only of You.

Cushioned by a duvet of dirt
And a pillow of languished lily petals.
A soiled white dress hanging over my
Preadolescent-like body.
Cheeks, once soft and plump,
Now drained-
No longer possessing the pinkish hue of innocence.
The translucency of my skin reveals thick, purple veins
Twisted like rope…
A gaunt Dead corpse

But here. Right now, I feel beautiful…
A beautiful corpses Bride, gazed upon in wonder by her
Cold. Dead. Groom.

Alone together, This was Our place.
Only Ours, because no one knew the moment We shared.
A moment that could corrupt a lifetime of youth in just a few everlasting minutes.

Oh how those minutes lasted!
An Eternity…
An Eternity that with each passing second brought me closer to you.

But you are gone…
And I still here.
Taken with you;
Your Spirit
Our Eternity,
My Life.

Deo, a Diabolo
Who doth reign over me?

The sweet-lick of flames do torment,
But Heavens hear this plea,
and anoint me with the will of god, not the power of Beelzebub.
As within smolders the fiery wrath of hell
Satanical whispers of common temptation -
Whispers that compel.

Sanctify my soul, Atone my sin
For Abhorrent joys of the flesh
And the tender touch of calloused skin
do ****** me.

That amorous desire,
              ‘For all have sinned and fall short the glory of god’
Feel the ******* of hell-fire.
Thoughts sear the mind and poison it -
an abscess of lust
Thoughts that question the holy writ.