death.

a loss of vision,
there,
in the corner.

a corrosive lack,
purpose and sense
lost in the way.

another step,
suspension.

feels like it is time.

wrapping time.

making a fire
with all the debris.

spoiled brat,
your complaint's
but bragging!

look around,
take a deep look,

and start over,
empty hands!
maybe then
you'll grow a heart.

je t'ai jamais dit
maman
et on était
plutôt amères
on était peut-être
jalouses
ta vie dérobée
ma vie saisie
par la peur
de quoi
je n'en sais rien
je t'ai jamais dit
maman
il nous a fallu
un mot
un geste
et moi
je suis restée là
dans ce geste inachevé
où j'ai vidé ce que
je t'ai jamais dit

Counting blessings
for gratefulness.

Stumbling on zero.

Blinded by aching.

none of it
is meant
the way
it feels,
it makes
me feel.

the real thing?
but a cold dish.

i hate emptiness.

time to move.
void is always
vacant.

Life.

Life?

Time drifter.

And then,
then
- this.

**** it.

I am not fit for it.
I know I am not.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe
either way.