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 Oct 2013 Cheyenne Najee
Amelia
I come from a place
Directed by a man with no front teeth
Who exhales sticky sweet smoke.

I come from a place
Where sobriety is not a default.
Where bad attitude is justified by the number of weeks clean.

I come from a place
That holds words like
methodone clinic
weaning
tapering
crank

I come from a place
where my mental health
is less important
than his.

I come from a place
Where my mother shouts at me,
"It's his fifth week, you have to expect something like this!"
"He's not in the right state of mind right now, let it go!"
"Temper tantrums are to be expected!"

I come from a place
That he leaves.
He goes to

the office
the gas station
get coffee
Because the initials N and A have
become ***** as he becomes clean.

I come from a place
Where addiction is the only "real" mental illness to them.
Where the sounds of pills falling down the drain
are matched with tears falling down a tired woman's face.
(Make that two)
tw: drug references, drug abuse references.
 Oct 2013 Cheyenne Najee
Amelia
you took a sip and spat me out
like bitter coffee
even though you didn't want me
you took some of me.

i left everything i am on your lips.

you smoked me down to a filter
but at least i was in your lungs.

you are a destination i will never truly reach
and i don't know how to stop driving.
 Oct 2013 Cheyenne Najee
Amelia
The place I love most is somewhere I haven't been.
There is light and empty spaces and monogrammed dish towels.
There is. a painting that almost captures the way
sunshine
made her eyes look like caramel.

I have dreamed of this place.
Where the phone never rings and parsley grows on the windowsill.
Where there are enough coats to fill their wrought-iron hangers.

I have dreamed
of this place
where she did not give up her consciousness.

I stepped on a bug.
It did not deserve to die.
 Oct 2013 Cheyenne Najee
Amelia
Sometimes
I get scared
that maybe
I don't like
the things that I like.

That my yearning
to be liked
has caused me
to lie to
myself.

The scary part is
I don't know
if I'm right or wrong.
Those tiny green circles remind us that we're not alone
That we'er not the only ones staying in on a Saturday night
We sit in silent rebellion against their demands
We refuse to leave our homes
We refuse to fall in love
We refuse to have two perfect children like in the movies
We refuse to let the race continue
We refuse to be remembered
We refuse to forget
We refuse to let your street lights dim the beauty of the starlit night sky
We refuse to let Futurama die  
We refuse your lack of imagination
We refuse to accept without question

— The End —