Everybody pushed me away from you.
Told me you were wrong, you pulled me down,
that before you I was a brighter spirit.
Everyone said you were my first love-
you meant so much because nobody else
had ever meant anything.
Everything inside of me felt torn-
I didn't know when it happened
but I lost myself in you.
And everybody that pushed me away,
they were right,
I never wanted to hear it,
but you weren't man enough to hold me tight.
I've lost sleep, thinking I made a mistake
but you couldn't give me the love
I so badly needed to take.



Every night I waited to feel alive again,
Til the night that I met him.

Lies unwind truths,
with flawless promises-
never knowing
the difference.
something replaced my
sixth sense,
maybe my fear
of everything
that shines.

youre the party to my lounge,
the disco to my trip,
without that kiss would i have fallen?
this poem doesn't rhyme so you won't like it,
but ive written it anyway.

With forgiveness, should come clarity..
without love, what are we?

oh cigarrette i love you so
out of my mouth the smoke i blow
i love when you get that red glow
instead of shrinking i wish you would grow

Jumping at your convulsions,
Finding everything you'd want
and nothing you need.
Collecting myself and falling apart
become interchangeable.  
At your weakest, I'm afraid
I wont see you again.
The stoop catches my tears,
and I hear an ambulance
speed through a small town.
Don't you let her go
you slow professionals.
She needs me- but I'm helpless,
and it's only hurting her, help her,
don't comfort me.
Life feels surreal when
you sit and wonder how you'll die.
They help you in, and your eyes open.
I thank the God that I doubt everyday.

& you laugh right in my face
because, apparently, I'm funny
& you smile
because  you're truly happy,
could it be, its not hard to love me?
& you won't ever understand
why i have to hold your hand
in the car,
from that angle i see everything you are
wondering if the wrong turn
will take it all away
& you would never guess i pray
but i do, for me
& you.

Lets see if I can vent, and at the end call it art
Cause I've never felt so lovely falling apart
and being put back together,
my beautiful tragedy.
what I've found in you-
is it isn't hard to be happy..
sometimes people meet and they just know.
& from day one, You Had Me
dancing on my toes.
a ballerina i never knew existed
sprang from me like grace
on a clumsy face-
Blink & you'da missed it.

i fear we're nothing
but fears,
and methods to cope.

youll take these thoughts and make them beautiful,
i know you will.
and all my worries, they;ll subside and my heart
wont feel the need to hide,
you'll take this smile and make it real,
i know you will,
like the way i light up
when you enter the room.
youll lift me to where i've never been
before.
We'll loom,
where we can't be found for days.
take another one of our getaways,
and never return.
hold me
and don't let me go,
until I learn.
<3

You radiate through me,
whether you want to or not,
you're part of my melody
right before the beat drops-
and everything's more intense,
my build up, my suspense..

when i go to put you into words
my mouth gets twisted
my thoughts get slurred
and nobody understands our perfection
doesn't need tamed.
with constant tending,
how long can we keep this flame?
skeptics be skeptics,
& my heart's last confession
*was your name.

Somehow, I'm grateful
I didn't meet you first
youve learned the difference
between love and thirst
had a daughter, made her your world
taught yourself how to treat a girl
sometimes, i'm thankful
for the hurt we've endured
because without pain
we couldn't be cured..

good morning sunshine
each song plays our tune
Leaving my arms
From the moonlight
until late afternoon,
I miss you.
You're the glue
filling the spaces he left
jagged,
terrified to ask you
to love a heart
so ragged.
Cause you're the prince
who's never seen his own crown,
I wanna raise you up, and
never let you down..

take me places
i've never seen,
blues bleed into you
tidal waves
of green.
crash landing on a soft bed
with sand,
resting in your hands,
you keep me
better
than
you'll
ever
know.
I won't let go.

finally, inspiration to write
you, and these thoughts
got me up all night
sleepin all day
wasting every minute not spent in your way
my sweet,
won't you beg me to stay?

boy I cant lie I’d miss you,
your voice, my laugh, the way I kiss you
youre not the kinda guy that I get into
cause all these perfect moments make me wonder
if i need you.

wanna live like a hippy in your fields
draw wild berries from the tree in your yard, make you eat them first
my guinea pig, my drug.
taste the grass against my feet, and laugh
we know nothing compares to our first summer
but why frown.

Sometimes I get a little hard to handle, and I cry so much
I bet you think it’s a game,
but when it comes down to the truth,
this fairytale I’ve held onto, it’s always me and you
and I still feel the love you give me,
every day.

So why’d I make you beg me to stay,
Why’d I make you tell me all the things
I never even say-
why’d I make you come undone, like we’d had our run,
As if everything you mean to me could fade…
whyd I make you beg me to stay..

Love I can’t tell you how it hurt to hear
my own words sink in, cut so clear.
Couldn’t see I was losing me
inside my fears.
I doubted myself and every promise I’d hear, because I knew deep down
that hurt you so bad,
and I couldn’t imagine you ever wanting me back.
But you didn’t push away,
you only begged me to stay.

Now the entire world can watch as
I treat you like gold,
‘cause I’m keeping you always,
you’re my love to hold.
Because I need your arms, your tender touch,
that voice just for me, saying I love you so much.
It went unearned, but you held me anyway.
and I still feel your love,
every day.
Baby, thanks for begging me to stay.