Cheye L: Poems

369 · May 2017

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Cheye L May 2017

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I spilled out my heart to you.
I told you of my issues.
I told you I skipped meals.
How my depression and anxiety worsened.
I told you that you helped me, gave me reasons to recover.
I kept it quite that I self harmed.
I did not want you to know how I cut, burn, bite and scratch myself.
Well at least not yet.
I thought we would stick together .
For five long months we where in a flirtationship.
On month five I thought you would ask me to be yours.
But I found out you had a ******* the side while you played me.
My heart got broke, I fell apart.
I cried in secret for weeks.
Never did I tell my parents about you.
I fell weak and bean to relapse.
I feared I would never find love.
Well I may still be solo but its only been two months.
Since the day you broke my heart.
It's so strange when you talk to me now.
I love we stayed friend's, but I am still a little hurt.
I have moved on.
There's a sweet new boy in my life now.
We met at prom and have talked ever since.
For now we are just friend's.
Taking it slow.
So thank you for breaking me and teaching me.
A new way to love.
You once said you are jelly of the man who gets me.
It could have been you, you could have had me.
But you decided to break me.
So now when I find a good man.
You can sit and weap in you're jealously.

252 · Mar 2017

Broken ♡

Cheye L Mar 2017

Broken ♡

I fell for you like a fool.
I thought you would be mine.
You called me cutie ****.
You always said you wish we could cuddle.
You said you wanted to go to prom with me.
For four months you kept me up till 2am.
For four month you flirted non stop.
Then just when I thought you where mine.
You started talking to her.
While still leading me on that we could be.
She live outta state.
I'm far nicer and hotter than her.
Well you played me like a game.
I was a fool.
Worst of all is how bad you hurt me.
Yet I still have feelings for you.
I'm sure you'll come crawling back.
When the girl you like outta state, breaks your heart and hooks up with someone closer .
I at least hope you'll stay my friend.
But I'll never forget that you broke my heart.
Sorry I fell for you and started to love you.

249 · Feb 2017

Monsters

Cheye L Feb 2017

Monsters

Monsters are real you see.
Yet they don't hide under your bed.
Rather they live inside your head.
They are memories from the past.
There rembering all your mistakes. There calories in food.
There the drepression you face.
There the voices in your head.
There the reflection in the mirror.
There scars you hide.
Everyone has monster's inside.
Some have more than others.
Some can fight them no problem.
While others it's a constant war.
Those who battle this war may fall weak here and there.
After all it's tiring fighting a constant war.
That's why some turn to anseptics.
That just cause more self hate.
The war may never end.
But hopefully you'll find a price or princess.
One that can help you through your struggles.
Who will stick by you and show you true love.
Together you could fix each other.
Together you could win this war.

242 · Mar 2017

ººº♡ººº

Cheye L Mar 2017

ººº♡ººº

For months you played me.
Flirted with me day and night.
You tould me you wanna cuddle.
You tould me you wanna hangout
You tould me I was beautiful.
Always wanted to touch my ***.
Then you started flirting with her.
While still flirting with me and leading me on.
I tould you I liked you.
After all those months of flirting I fell for you.
Your eyes, your soul, your hair, your personality everything.
You brushed if off.
You use to say I was the best.
Who ever got me was lucky.
Then the girl outta state won you over.
You still talk to me I wish I could tell you how you broke my heart.
I still hope your ugly *** outta state breaks your heart.
I hope she finds love closer and a better man then you.
I hope you come crawling back.
I hope you let me love you.
Your everthing I'm looking for .
I fear I'll never find love.
I know one day I will.
But for now I'm stuck hopeing you'll love me again.
Though you hurt me my heart still melts when I see your face hear your name and when you speak to me .
My first true love, how you broke me but I still love you.

233 · May 2017

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Cheye L May 2017

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I began to recover.
No more fresh cuts.
Eating enough.
Then my drepression scrape.
My anxiety got worse.
I was doing so well.
Then I got hurt.
I fell in love with self destruction.
So when I fell in hard times.
I said **** recovery.
I grabbed the blade.
I skipped meals.
The blood,
The scars,
The hunger,
The pain.
Gave me power.
Yet again I say hello my old friends.

218 · May 2017

-》scars 《-

Cheye L May 2017

-》scars 《-

I can't help but think.
I'll have scars on my wedding day.
Though guesst dont know not see.
I and a few will know they are there.
I hope my husband will understand.
I hope he will love me.
I hope he will love me when he knows how broken I am ,when he sees my scars and how my body is weak.
I can't help but over think.
Will he love a girl who's broken?
Will he love s girl who scars?
Will he love a girl with a eating disorder?
Will he love a girl who self harms?
Will he love a girl who is depressed?
Will he love a girl who had anxiety?
Will he love me for me?

207 · Feb 2017

《~♡~》

Cheye L Feb 2017

《~♡~》

You turned my tears in to smiles.
You turned bad times to good times.
You made me laugh and smile when I felt I would never do it again.
You showed me true friendship.
You showed me that you cared.
Our friendship seemed to grow, quickly to something more.
Still short of being with one another.
But something more then friends.
We tell each other out fears and problems.
We support each other in our darkest days and in our brightest hours.
I hope one day we won't hide our feelings.
I hope we can be a couple.
Because since you've been around, life has been better.
My bad days are good when I talk too you.
I can't imaging any one else making me feel the way you do.
But for now I'm glad I can call you a friend, and I hope if nothing else you'll be my friend for life.

194 · Mar 2017

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Cheye L Mar 2017

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You played me like a game.
For five months I fell for it.
Then you say you like her.
She lives so far away.
Yet you still are flirty with me.
Then I tell you how I feel.
I knew you felt the same way too.
But you left me for her.
You broke me.
I cried for weeks.
I still loved you.
I hoped you would come back.
Then I moved on.
Your relationship with her began to fade.
I hope you'll love me again one day.
Otherwise ill find someone who loves me more.

184 · Mar 2017

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Cheye L Mar 2017

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I thought I was over you.
   Oh that was a lie.
       My heart is still broken.
All the pieces are scarred on the floor.
I thought you cared about me.
    I guess in was wrong.
       You played me like a game.
I should have known all the nights, your text never came.
  All the times your text where delayed.
You had her in one side and me on the other.
You played me like a game.
I feel for you.
She is so far away and I'm so close.
You'll never be able too visit or cuddle her like you could me.
Your just a player, and I just your game.
You traped me with your love.
People say I can do better then you.
But it's hard to believe.
Because you where everything I wanted.
You played me and broke me.
Yet I still like you.
I hope one day soon you come back and love me.

First time having my heart broken. By a boy who's prefect. But he left me to flirt and online date a girl in another state. While taking to get he still flirted with me. He broke me but I still have feelings for hin.

179 · Mar 2017

~Hiden ~

Cheye L Mar 2017

~Hiden ~

My parents know we talk.
But not how often we do.
They know we're friend's.
Not how close we are.
I'm afraid to ask to spend time with you.
One day soon I'll brave up and tell them.
One day soon I promise you that.
After all how could we forever hide our relationship.
So the day you ask me out, is the day I will tell them.
There's a boy, you both know.
He wants me to be his girlfriend so what do you say.
They will allow it I know.
But it's hard to tell them things.
But we can't hide in the dark forever.

166 · Mar 2017

~Fool~

Cheye L Mar 2017

~Fool~

I was such a fool.
How I fell for you.
I thought you fell for me.
You flirted with me for four months non stop.
You asked me to be your future date to prom.
You always said you wanted to cuddle.
You wanted to spend time together.
Little did I know you were crushing on me and another ***.
That ***** lives outta state and is ugly as ****.
You could have kept me, I could have been your one and only.
I live so close to you.
I am a lot hotter then her.
I can't believe I was so blind.
To not see you were flirting with me and her.
You broke my heart.
You made me cry.
I fear I'll never find love agian.
But after all of this my feelings are still strong for you.
I hope you'll stay my friend at least.
But I wish you could see how bad you broke my heart.
How I fear I'll never find love agian.
Stuck asking myself will I ever get a boyfriend.

150 · Apr 2018

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Cheye L Apr 2018

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Best friends four years strong.
I fell for you way back then.
Now I know you fell for me too.
To scared to admit it.
We stayed bestfriends.
We watched as others broke our hearts.
Then one late night.
Talking like we always have.
You told me you have liked me for years.
Then asked me if I would be yours.
A dream come true.
Of course I said yes.
Some are happy for us.
While others not so much.
Two months of being a couple.
You ask me to marry you.
Being engaged the last year of high school.
People say "you are moving to fast" " your to young"
But we know it's right this isn't a puppy love or a phase.
What we have is real.
Together forever is all we want.
I'm happy to be yours.
Through all the good and bad.
My one true love the only one I ever want.
My reason to smile.
My will to fight.

143 · Feb 2017

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Cheye L Feb 2017

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What's that mark?
Just a scratch.
Why are you not eating much?
I'm not feeling well.
Why are you waring jeans in July?
I was not in the mood for shorts.
You tell yourself just one more.
One more cut, cut calories one more time, tell one more lie to hide it all.
But that one more turns to 20 and one more never ends.
It's always one more until your secrets are discovered, one more until you decide to recover.

— The End —