a tidal wave from my heart to my ****
it's disgusting. I adore          you
arteries pumping harder than your hips
where you've touched leaves electric spiders; dancing.
"i want to ******* so bad, right here on the ground"
pushed up against my car: i cant feel my teeth
grab my hair just ******* pull it
smile in the middle of a sloppy kiss; my face still stings
it's disgusting. I adore          you

can i taste you still?* it seems like      your tongue is slipping
from my mind as quick as    you left the room      /in a hurry
every   single               pore i want to feel:       a non-romance.
can i carry you through           every layer of dirt and soil    ?
i hold only your           pinky finger          through the crowd
of dead flowers and rotting mice                                     i cant
(don t want to) imagine your  face wrinkle in disdain for me
just          wait     until                 tomorrow               morning   .

collect from my body
every memory you implanted
and every stitch you sewed -
i am no longer a person
or a living organism;
i am the air.
i swim around you,
feel your breath -
i am your breath.
each and every rib expands with me
and you exhale me from between your lips
,

you do not know i am here
or why i left
i don't have the answers
i barely know which direction
i       am                 blowing,
behind the trees you feel me
and inside your mind
you ache for me;

but i cannot see you
anymore
.

youll see me half dead lying in a ditch by your mothers house. shes smiling, but your tears,quarters,dimes are worthless here. egypt. land of your gods' daydreams; twelfth sister of the night. shimmered and weeped. under your eyes are millions of disguises you have yet to unveil. we wore seashells and flowers. decorated ourselves in jewels. nightclad. venus slept under the afternoon. black and siamese twins have yet to uncover a sizeable difference between me and you. took scissors to carve a name into yourself. "JESUS" and "KING." got drunk before i rolled my eyes back into my head. forever uncovering diamonds in your snow. foggy and blue. giggled and worshipped pictures of ourselves. we are the sky's undead children

electric humming.blank eyes
sweat drips from every stinking
pore on my miserable skeleton of flesh
nearly pitch black: my body aches for the stars
and i dont find them i dont find them i only see
a spotlight to reveal the cracks on my skin
i wreak of boiling anger with a subtle tone of despair
the cement creaks below me and i
rest my spine on top of it
will it ever decide to swallow
me whole?i should thank you for warming me,
despite the heartache youve put me through.
dog breath:inhuman noises from a buzzing
around my brain
ive got blisters on my ankles from walking a mile
in black boots.they suffocate themselves
into the womb,before trying to grab ahold of me;
pull me on top of them
even the bugs flee. the insects weep: a pillar of salt
isnt enough to make amends with them
a ghost train back to my bedroom,I can hear it calling
me.high pitched and restless
the doors are locked from the inside∧ theres no way in
to preach my gospel
i should be headingoff- down a dimly lit path
we created in our lungs

a delay in my eyes= my head is gone
i had better plans for the future
follow through (a taste of codeine)))
a shakespearian poet once told me that my face would look better with his **** in my mouth
hahaha huh aha they sing baby rattler snake bite bi teME
I TOLD YOU my head is gone  ?   the lines are all mixed up
i cant read you like i can the back of my palms (blck… tar  )
   crack babies *** want some of    [ REDACTED ]
stop walking by my door i know you want the rent but all i can give you is a black eye
satan mustve been a pretty fun          guy
you think you can Swallow a little bit of my breath
it# barely moves ###
break even-even break my bones before i die

you told me not to cry; i didnt
felt bad about saying you hated the habits i had
we kissed we kissed five hundred times in your living room
it was dark i wish it was cold as well
couldnt see our breath: i was sweating
rolling down my face were my skulls salty tears
said i tasted like french fries. laughed, pushed my hair back
sweat wasnt the only salt in my mouth

i had a dream you were just holding my hand
because you didn't want to ******* cigarette breath
and we were out on the porch swing
i couldn't squeeze your fingers tight enough
your head rested on my shoulder
and we sang in our hearts to evangeline
it was six minutes we went silent
in the warm darkness
there weren't stars or any form of light
but your breathing was on my neck
and i wanted to cry

no interest in you or
your hands on my throat
and i don't want your ***
its coming clear to me now though:
everything's just ******
i want to take pills but
not the ones prescribed to me
You can rot in hell i'll probably see you there
everything's **** and im tired of the culture
im sick of expecting to be used
and if im gonna get ******
i should at least get paid for it

i wouldnt want to pay the
electric bill for your heart;
you are so full of light
each time we speak i cant help
but feel like im growing taller

i am your raging lungs
                   will you suffocate within me?

my fingers curled backwards underneath your doll skin
i could barely say a word ;
my mouth was frozen
and the smell of your burnt hair
wouldn't leave the room,
the house,
the neighborhood
could feel your scent
and know your undying thoughts for
each
               every
                     single
                            one
of them
and
i didn't want to be consumed in your flames
so i hid behind doors
and old forgotten closet clothes
but you sought me out with
a heated chest and
smoke plume breath
---    your stony eyes cracked in half: they poured
        your fluids over the linoleum
and my limbs fell over each other
in a mad dash between your thighs and
   the screen door nearly tore off the hinges
before i had a chance to                                           scream

starving. just starving for life
nothing but a dark room filled with blankets
i wish i could cry enough tears to drown in,
laugh at myself for being a melodramatic lump of garbage,
and probably cry some more

i used to prefer being stuck at home
now it makes me so insane that i want to die

the hope that you would cheer me up just doesn't do the trick
but i don't want to bother you
kiss them all you want, i don't mind
just send me good vibes from the city and i'll drown in
the pond in the backyard.

passive-aggression makes me sick
and so i'm puking up my guts

last night
you were crying blue
until the suds of your lungs
decided to wither
and she came in this morning
with devils horns, droopy eyes
and a furnace for a mouth
we dissipated:like lightning
before my nails stunted
and your fever returned

my heart thuds and collapses. my name spills off your tongue and i can hardly praise the gods enough for this gentle storm. can you hear it? purple effervescence tossing me into the brink of the tide like a song of mermaids. the undercurrent takes me by surprise, grinds my skin into the sand. i can finally feel.

i hope there are spiders under my skin
if not - then whats crawling?

                    i feel them constantly