Just a Failure with everything,
Failed with being a good daughter,
Failure with being a mother,
Failed all my children,
Failure as a grandmother,
Failing my grandchildren,
Failure as a girlfriend/wife,
Failure as a friend,
Nothing but a Failure,
Just a waste of space,
Wasting everyone's time,
Just a Big Failure in life,
Just a Failure.

I thought we were finally going to have our chance at happiness,
That we didn't get to have before.
But like a snap of a finger it was gone and I only have myself to blame,
I was blind and stupid to not see what I had.
Now I have lost you and my heart aches,
Wishing I could turn back time and redo what I didn't do or say before.
I am just a **** up, broken and damaged. A lost soul longing for the love I thought I could've had with you.
Now I see why I deserve to be alone, I destroy everything I touch.
Run...
Run as far and as fast as you can away from me, before I **** up your life.
You are better off without somebody like me, you want to help me but there is no helping somebody like me.
**** My Life...

It hurts to know we never had the chance to be happy.
It hurts to see you with another, knowing that I love you.
It hurts to think that we could've tried, but I was too afraid.
Knowing we would always have the same people trying to destroy us.
It hurts to know you don't love me the way I now know that I love you.
It hurts too much to see you and know that we can never be, now that you are with another.
Knowing that you love her and not me.
It hurts to know that we can only be friends and nothing more.
It hurts so much, that we will never have the chance again because I was too blind to see what we could've had.
Knowing you are still in my life, if it is only as just a friend is better than not having you in my life at all.
It hurts to know the pain and heartache I feel, but I will hopefully get over it in time.

I Hate everything about myself
I Hate that I'm not a good mother
I Hate that I'm not a good grandma
I Hate that I'm not a good girlfriend
I Hate that I'm not a good friend
I Hate that I'm not a good lover
I Hate that I'm not a good sister
I Hate that I'm not good at anything
I Hate that I wasn't a good daughter
I Hate my life and myself
I Hate me!!

I'm sad and alone with no one here to comfort me,
I have no one in my life, with very little family and what seems like no friends at all.
I'm sad and alone with no one here to love me,
I have no one here but my boys who I know try there best for me.
I'm sad and alone with no one here to talk or cry with,
I have no one here but me to say you will make it through the day.
I'm sad and alone with no one here but me to convince myself to stay,
I have no one here only me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.
I'm sad and alone with no one here to take away my pain,
I have no one here except me to say you need to be strong for your boys.
I'm sad and alone with no one here,
I am sad and alone.

I want a man who will love me for who I am, with all my flaws and mistakes.
Not one who wants to mold me into someone who he wants me to be.
I want a man who will not only love me, but my children as well.
Someone who will be there for them and to do things with them too.
I want a man who has a job, one who will help me with everything.
Someone who will help me around the house also and will cook as well.
I want a man who will love me and my children unconditionally, one who will not abuse us.
Someone who will give his all to be the man I've been searching for and to be a good father to my children.
I want a man to love me, one who will love my children as if they were his own.
Someone who will love us with his entire heart and soul.

I'm so alone, the pain I feel is real.
I feel as if I'm falling apart, with no way of mending myself.
I just want to disappear from this world, who would miss me anyway.
This loneliness I can't break away from, I can't help but feel this way.
I feel so empty and alone inside, it's tearing me apart.
I want to be strong and fight this loneliness away, but I am not.
I am weak with nothing left in me, only this pain of loneliness.

We loved our Mother, as we knew she loved us too,
it was just our Mother who raised us, three girls,
Our Father died when we were quite young,
She tried her best to raise us right and do good by us girls.
She was the best Mother we could've ever asked for,
She was a very strong, yet stubborn woman,
She was my hero and I'm sure she was my sisters' hero too,
She was a very wonderful, kind, loving, and caring person.
She was everything we could ever ask for and much much more,
She was not only our Mother, but she was our friend as well,
We were very lucky to have had her as our Mother,
And we weren't ready to bid her farewell yet.
We Prayed God, to keep her with us just a little longer,
Because we weren't ready to lose her,
We thought we still needed her a great deal,
She was all we had left, except each other.
We still needed her near, as any child would,
Even though we are adults now and have children of our own,
We will always need our Mother no matter what,
She was always by our side, we never had to worry being alone.
Remember Mom we love you and we always will,
You made us who we are today,
We want you to be proud of us, as we were of you,
We didn't want you to give up on life, but knew you couldn't stay.

I am a closed book,
I keep myself closed from everyone,
To prevent myself from the pain that I've gone through.
I've opened myself up before,
Only to be hurt by the one person I never thought would.
I am a closed book,
I keep myself closed to shield my heart and soul from going through the pain again.
I've tried to open myself up,
But only to instantly close myself for fear of being hurt.
I am a closed book,
And will keep myself closed from anymore pain I may be caused by anyone.
My heart has been torn to pieces by someone I truly loved and thought truly loved me,
And I can't risk that happening ever again.
I am a closed book,
I've lost my faith and trust in men.
Because it's all I've learned was broken dreams and promises,
I've been cheated on, lied to, abused (physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually).
I am a closed book,
And will remain closed to keep myself from ever being hurt anymore.

I torcher myself everyday, thinking who would ever love me.
I'm broken inside, with no way of healing myself.
My heart is shattered into a million pieces and feel as though my soul is lost.
I want someone who will love me for who I am, with all my flaws and mistakes.
Who would heal my broken heart and find my soul.
But who would ever love me, for just me.
I want someone who won't abuse me, is that so wrong.
Someone who is kind, gentle, sweet, loving and caring.
Who would ever love me though, when I'm just a shell of who I once was.

When I look into your eyes,
All I see are nothing but lies.
How can you not feel the least bit guilty,
When you constantly lie to me.
And you wonder why I don't trust you,
What do you expect me to do.
Trust is earned, isn't that what you always say,
But how can I trust you, there is just no way.
How can you tell me daily,
That you love me.
Do you even know the meaning?
Because this is all I'm seeing.
Your way of love is not well planned,
It's wrong, if only you could understand.
I've told you it's over and wish you'd leave,
But it's obvious you never will, because you just don't want to believe.
The only thing left to do is pack your bags and leave them by the door,
Then maybe you'll realize it's over, unlike before.
Chance after chance is what I've given,
Only to be lied to again and again.
So I'm going to try one last time, to tell you goodbye,
And please just walk away quietly, because I don't want to hear another lie.

Forgive me Lord for I have sinned,
I've fallen for this man that haunts me in my dreams,
I've told him just how I feel,
The more my feelings grew, the less I could hide them it seems.
I've kept my distance as much as I can,
I'm doing my best at least I'm trying,
But he's so ****** irresistable that I cant stay away,
I'm so stupid for letting this happen that I just feel like hiding.
Why do I have to be such a fool,
And do so many ridiculous things,
I don't know why he still wants to be my friend,
He should consider me as nothing.
Although I'm so very greatful he's still apart of my life,
I just don't understand why,
Why does he still want to be,
But I fear the day when he tells me goodbye.
I'm praying to you Lord, please help me with my heart,
Once again I've managed to have my heart broke,
I've brought this on myself, and I only have myself to blame,
I'm just the fool, who should not have spoke.
Forgive me Lord for I have sinned,
I've fallen for the man I've been looking for,
I'm trying to only think of him as just a friend,
But he's sweet, kind, thoughtful, caring, funny, loving, and more.
I only hope he stays apart of my life forever,
Because without him I could not survive,
He's made such a big difference in my life,
That without him I would not be alive.

I'm packing your bags and hope that you leave,
Because I'm done with you, that's one thing you can believe.
I'm sick and tired of the deceit and all your lies,
And it's finally time for me to tell you Goodbye.
I don't need you, I can make it on my own,
I already know that you won't be alone.
I'm tired of all your *******,
Someone else can deal with it.
I've dealt with it for far too long already,
It's time I think of my boys and me.
And don't think you can guilt me into feeling bad,
Because I'm not going to worry or feel sad.
You did this to yourself, but I'm sure you'll blame it all on me,
But it wasn't just me and that's plain to see.
I've been the one who has been walked all over for so many years,
And fought back all my tears.
Not tears from a broken heart though,
But tears that you would never go.
I'm slowly building up the strength and courage to say you need to leave,
But then I'm afraid that it is something I will never achieve.
Lord give me guidance to find my way,
So that maybe I can be happy again one day.

Remember me when you feel all alone,
I'm always here for you, I'll never leave you on your own.
Remember me when your heart is broke in two,
I'll always be here to pick up the pieces and heal your heart for you.
Remember me when you feel depressed, stressed or angry,
I'm always going to be by your side through it all, please believe in me.
Remember me when you're confused or lost,
Because I'm always here for you no matter what the cost.
Remember me when you're feeling ill in any way,
I'll always be here to nurse you back to health any day.
Remember me after I am gone,
And just for you, I'll be sure to ask God to leave Heaven's light on.
Remember me please, don't forget,
I'll always remember you, our friendship I'll never regret.
Remember me if you're in Heaven before me,
Maybe you can guide the light for me to see.
Remember me when you don't think you can ever love again,
Because I am here waiting to love you, but I can wait 'til then.
Remember me when you feel like nobody loves you,
Just so you know that I'll always love you, forever too.

(A Dream)
~The Fool~
Could you be real and steal my heart,
If so, let it be right from the start.
But I know it will take time,
And that should be a crime.
I'll try to fight it, but won't win.
So, I'll finally just have to give in.
Although your friendship, I would hold dear,
And to lose you, would be my biggest I fear.
You would be my best friend,
I would never want that to end.
I would be afraid to let you know,
Because I won't ever want to let you go.
But my heart would ache for you,
And I won't know what to do.
Would I, be honest and tell you how I feel,
Or will our friendship be damaged and never heal.
If only you would see,
What this would be doing to me.
It'll be tearing me up inside,
I would just crawl back in my shell and hide.
If you chose to close the door on me,
I know I would just have to let it be.
I wouldn't blame you though, I'd understand,
But I would want you to know, that it wasn't planned.
And also because of you,
I would finally see through.
All my flaws and mistakes,
That I just couldn't seem to break.
So, I'm saying sorry now, for how I feel,
I only wish that you were real.
So I would know if you would ever feel the same,
But I know you wouldn't and it would be me, The Fool, who would be to blame.

My heart and soul are in so much pain,
And I only have myself to blame.
I just need to be strong,
I've been weak for far too long.
But how do I find the strength within,
And where should I begin.
Where do I find the confidence,
I need to break away from my silence.
As I scream from inside this prison cell,
Trying to escape the living hell.
Of which this nightmare I live,
A nightmare I continue to relive.
Why do I feel so broken inside,
Like my entire life has just died.
How can I punish myself this way,
I wish I could just run away.
And free myself from all the pain,
Before I drive myself insane.

I think it's time that you should know,
That a love for you just does not show.
I've been unhappy for quite some time,
But you were unwilling to see the sign.
I tried to tell you time and time again,
But it's like you didn't want to listen.
So now you should just let go,
Of a love that will never grow.
It's hard to love, when no trust is there,
Lying every day and expecting me to still care.
You don't even help me with anything at all,
Are you waiting to watch and see if I fall.
Spending more time upstairs or just not being here,
The boys need you more then your **** beer.
You feed me lines of ******* that lead to an arguement,
And you wonder why I don't talk and I'm so distant.
I had might as well be a single Mom and raise my boys on my own,
It's basically what I'm doing, but I'll have them so I won't be alone.
They are my entire world, my heart and soul,
I'll be strong and confident, I won't be afraid and I will stay in control.
It's time to stand ground and put my foot down,
No more being a wimp, I can do this, I can stop all the frowns.
It's time to be brave for my boys and I,
No playing the guilt trip card, so don't even try.
It's time for us to say goodbye,
Why should we continue to keep living this lie.

You're a very dear friend to me,

I hope it's something you can see.

Life without you would be a sin,

I feel the pain deep within'.

A dear friend is what you've become,

In which I hope will never come undone.

You mean more to me than you'll ever know,

I really wish you didn't have to go.

It will not be the same, without you here,

Loneliness is what I fear.

Loneliness is all I see,

Loneliness is apart of me.

I will miss you with all my heart,

Why does our friendship have to part.

I wish I could have you here my dear friend,

Will our friendship now end?

I never want to lose you,

Without you I'll be lonely and blue.

Without you I am not whole,

Without you I have no soul.

Remember I am always here for you, forever,

Remember I will be by your side whenever.

Remember if you ever need anything,

Or even nothing.

I'm always here for you,

Believe in me, these words are true.

Believe in me, my friend always,

Believe in me, today and everyday.

Does anybody even know I'm here,
Will somebody know if I were to disappear.
Would they really notice that I was gone,
Or is it possible that I may be wrong.
I feel so very alone inside,
That I wish I could just find a place to hide.
Stay hidden from the world outside,
And pray for all my pain to subside.
Feeling so lost and out of place,
Needing someone to embrace.
Knowing that what I write of,
Is wanting to know the feel of true love.
But will never have that feeling I long for,
So I'll just continue to ignore.
What will never be,
Only to know what is unknown to me.

You were my lover and my best friend,
Why did it even have to end.
I loved you with all my heart,
But then it all fell apart.
Maybe it was just fate,
I thought you were my soulmate.
I made many mistakes,
Why do I have to be so fake.
I wish I could have been strong,
I was so, so wrong.
Why is it hard for me to lust,
And even harder for me to trust.
Why do I keep everything bottled up inside,
Maybe I should just run away and hide.
Why can't I find a place to belong,
Is that so wrong.
I wish I didn't have to be here,
But my children need me near.
I want them to know,
That I love them so.
I hate who I am and what I've become,
Why must I think of myself as ugly, fat, and dumb.
Why couldn't I be someone else,
I should be by myself.
Why? Why? Why?
Who the HELL am I!!
Why do I have to be,
ME!!!

I love you with all my heart and soul,
with everything I am and everything I want to be,
you are my life, my entire world,
without you I wouldn't be who I am today, please believe me.
I want you to be the best person that you can be,
always be honest, loyal, loving, and caring,
and always be kind generous, sweet, and respectful,
don't be a follower, be a leader and always do the right thing.
Do what you believe is right, follow your heart,
don't do what you know in your heart is wrong,
trust and believe in yourself, make the right choices,
and you will become a better person and you will be strong.
Be yourself, don't be someone you're not,
and don't be someone, that others want you to be,
you are your own person, be that person,
never forget who you are and who you want to be.
When you are looking for that special someone,
don't rush into anything, be patient and wait,
time and patience is all you need, love will find you,
just give it time, eventually you will find your soulmate.
And when you find that special someone, never let her go,
always be there for her, love her--care for her--be her best friend and lover,
believe in her--trust in her, and she'll always be there for you too,
be the man she's always dreamed of, don't use or abuse her.
But if you find her and she's already with someone,
just be there for her, that's all you can do,
be patient, have faith, and if it's meant to be--love will bring you two together,
fate is always on your side, as is God too.
I hope you will be the man I tried to raise you to be,
as I know you will, I tried to make sure you were polite and considerate,
live your life being truthful, try not to make mistakes,
but if you do, please let it be small--learn from it , don't let it be too late.
I've tried to be the best mother I can be for you,
and being a mother, is one of the hardest jobs I've ever had,
but being a mother with a full time job is even harder yet,
I'm sorry if I'm not always here for you, I don't mean for you to be sad.
I love you and I'll always be there for you, no matter what,
I hope you know this to be true, you're my son,
I'll be here for you through it all, the good and the bad,
the happy and the sad, my love for you will never come undone.

One warm, beautiful dark evening
As their eyes met that gazing night
They felt as if they knew each other
But it was really love at first sight.
As they drew themselves closer together
And in their stomaches the butterflies tingle
As they stood there silently with no sound
Then they suddenly begin to mingle.
They whispered, giggled, and talked to each other
As though they've known each other for years
That night was what drew them together
Which they look back at with loving tears.
Years gone by and they're still together
Remembering then in loving ways
Not so young as they were back then
But they still act that young today.
Memories still lingering of that night
With them it will forever last
Their love has grown deeper and deeper
From that wonderful night of the past.

If only love could last forever,
but does it really ever.
Maybe if love was strong,
it could last that long.
Love is life's never ending test,
to pass is what I request.
True love is hard to find,
if only life could be so kind.
A soulmate is what everybody needs,
my soulmate is what I want indeed.
Is there such a thing as ever lasting love,
if so, give me a sign from above.
Am I with my soulmate now,
please tell me, I'd like to know now.
Why is love such a mystery,
and cause me such misery.
Is it too much to ask,
must it be such a task.
Love is hard to find, it's true,
but to hold on is even harder to do.
When you find that someone,
be sure to have a lot of fun.
Let them be your lover and friend,
hold on to it, never let it end.

If there's one thing that I know is true,
It's the patience that I have with you.
I'll wait a second for you,
I'll wait a minute too.
I'll wait an hour just for you,
I'll wait a day and even two.
I'll wait a week if that'll do,
I'll wait a month, even a few.
I'll wait a year, do you believe it's true,
I'll wait centuries and decades only for you.
I'll even wait forever, at least that's what I'll try to do,
I'll wait right here just for you, because I love you.
I'll wait my very last breath, just to be with you!