I have this vision
Everytime I look out my window,
I see you walking toward me.
A wide smile and a twinkle in your eye
But with a blink and a shake of my head,
You're gone.
When I wake up in the morning,
There are a few moments that I think you're next to me, that all of this was just a dream.
But in time the haze wears off and I remember that the dream was you.
In one kiss I could see our whole life;
A house. Babies. Puppies. Endless love. But with a blink, it's gone.
You took a part of me when you left,
A part of me I didn't even know I had.
Now the vision has changed to you showing up unannounced with a speech just for me.
You take me in your arms and I feel like I'm home again.
I have a future again. With you.
But, with a blink of an eye, you're gone.

A smirk, a head rush, and a heart flutter.
My mind races like the water running past our feet.
How do you make me melt with just one glance?
Maybe it was the romance of it all;
The stars shining, the warm summer breeze, the river, and the stale hint of nicotine mixed with the sweet smell of the water that layed out before us.
You lured me in with that first cigarette kiss, allowing me to dip my toes in before dragging me under.
"I need to make you mine" you said. And you did.
I didn't realize that being yours meant that you belonged to someone-everyone-else.
Anyone but me.
You strike a match to burn my hopes the way your lips and fingertips branded my skin.
"I like you a lot" you whispered, your eyes locked on mine, making me believe you.
But we all know how good you are at blowing smoke.

I'm 131 ideas south of good.
Winding down the lamp lit highway,
The lights sparkling in the dark like the Pearl necklaces you gave me every time we met.
Your lips tasted of coffee, your kiss as warm and as welcome in the Winter air,
But your indifference clings to me like a chilly second skin.
Me longing to mean something is what you find Fault In.
You scrape the surface of me, but there is so much more underneath
Shaking and awaiting your firm yet gentle exploration...
You look, you admire, and you walk away.
I remain motionless until The very Bitter End.

I have a crush on a boy who works at the grocery store
You might look at me and think I'm too old to have a crush
And you'd be right.
I haven't been so foolish in years.
But here we are.
We talk every day, but it's rarely face to face.
Every once in a while I steal into the grocery store to make sure he's still real.
I always have something funny to stay in case I bump into him
Because, let's face it, sometimes funny is all I have...
I think about the times we have been face to face
Our hot tub together with the warm water surrounding our bodies
As my body surrounded his.
The nap we took when I was wide awake
Falling helplessly, tossing out lines to try and find a foothold in the curve of his smile.
I think about our late night drive to a secluded place
So it felt like we were the only two people in the world,
My lips beneath his...
Seeing him in the grocery store,
Maybe I don't even have funny
Because as I draw nearer to him
I don't say a word.

It started with a smile.
A smile and a laugh
Flash from drunken rooftop parties
To a stroll along the beach.
Maybe it was the air between Alabama and Florida,
Sticky sweet like the nectar from magnolias,
Clinging to our bodies like an extra layer of skin,
But I never felt closer than when our hands drifted into one another.
Through the haze of the heat, I've never seen brighter smiles
Than the ones you flashed me while we were walking side by side.
The seagulls, the palm trees, and I saw you shining in the Florida sun
As the waves crashed against your jeans while the rest of the world faded away.
The waves, the sand, and I all saw you watching as we walked along the shoreline.
I saw you watching when you thought I wasn't looking, because I was watching too.
Back in the crisp Michigan air, we're two hours and a world apart,
A hop and a skip I wouldn't mind taking
Just to take our journey beyond southern comfort.

People keep asking me if I'm okay
And mostly, I am.

But, how am I supposed to be okay
When the only man
Who has the ability to break the spell and hold my heart,
The only other man that makes me smile and aware of my heart beat,
Lives too far away to give me a chance,
And is too wary from his last relationship
To attempt to close the distance between us.

How am I supposed to be okay
When a boy and a girl
Who know each other inside and out
Who learn and grow together for five years
A boy and girl who think the world of each other
Don't end up together.
The boy she thought would be
Her fairy tale ending
Falls in love with someone else
In the fraction of the time that they knew each other
How can I be okay now that she's his wife.
How can I be okay
With losing a best friend, and a part of myself.

How can I be okay
When the man I want to be with
Keeps me at arms length.
He holds me in place,
Sure to steal my focus the moment it might waver from him.
He dangles hope in front of my eyes
Like a hook and I wait with baited breath.
He whispers sweet nothings into my ears
That float into my brain
And my brain does a magic trick that makes mole hills into mountains.
Because in my head
You mean everything you say.
In my head,
You're my new fairy tale
With no ending in sight.

It's the tell tale question:
"what do you want?"
I need no hesitation as a montage enters my head.
I want a phone call saying
"come outside"
I want a face grab and a heated kiss.
I want rocks thrown at my window,
I want a boom box hoisted overhead,
I want a scavenger hunt leading me to you,
I want a letter of explanation,
I want a scheme to surprise me with your presence,
I want a grand gesture,
Or flowers with a confession of love,
Even if you're not good with words.
I want an "I miss you, I miss us."
I want "meet me here" and an "I'll be waiting."
I want a deliberate touch,
A lingering gaze weighted with words you can't say.
I want you to be drawn to me the way that I am drawn to you,
Like two magnets holding together through any obstacle and force trying to keep them apart.
What do I want?
The answer is simple:
Him.