I never abandoned you,
I swear.

I didn't mean to leave you
All alone.
If I had stayed,
Could I have saved you
the way you saved me
five years ago?
The days you still needed me
and gave my life purpose.
You are still my light,
The reason I breathe.
They took me away from you.
I swear.

I wasn't there for you..
But I never wanted to go.
I wasn't there,
The moment your blood began to freeze
or when the light
drained from your eyes.
I can hear your laughter dull
after every new addition
of self-inflicted displays of pain
on the paper thin skin of your wrists.
Please, no more scars
The razor cuts more than your skin.
Keep the pills where they belong
Don't leave me
I left you behind,
but you were never truly alone.
I'll keep you safe.
Always.

I swear.

Memory is a tenuous thing
At times it is lost, like a leaf in the wind
Other times it grips so tight
That my breath is short and my head is light

The bottle in your hand reminds me we're here,
spilling out dusty images and intricate fear
often hidden away behind closed doors.
Through the neck of that bottle escapes some more
of your hate to seep into my skin, once again

Mama, your vice may keep you safe;
the pain dissolves by hiding your face.
With your eyes closed, break the glass
and slit your throat to forget the past