There has been quite some distance between you and I
Not to mention the 5 year span of time that's passed us by.
There were days of recognition
others were idle in focus
When you came back,
it was like a sail boat in a dream
that had once riled in me such a fuss.
I now play with ships and study in trade winds
while leaving my childhood fancies adrift.
Perhaps you mean to bring them back to me
or offer a needed lift.
In this gesture, I felt your warmth,
pleasant to my icy skin
Yet it will not cure frost-bite,
or the frequent chill I feel within.

I see through the cookie cutter concept:
either way the dough will taste the same.
I recall your voice, the mention of our past,
leaves shudders I can hardly tame.
Things have changed and yet you only see the stains in the curtains
Because you remember how they got there,
while the rest is uncertain.
Time is our element, and that, I have no stake in
We rise to the occasion and lay down to rest
only to begin again.

Maybe I am bitter;
by your selfish intent,
it is justly proven so.
You can't hurry me along;
I am a pacer,
something I'll bet you didn't know.
We aren't playing with old puzzles pieces;
I put those together long ago.
I hate the way I hate you;
after all,
you're trying so hard.
No matter how much I want you to understand,
my words don't get very far.
The proof will come from whatever you don't let me burn,
whatever respect you can find for me,
whatever you can learn from my distance,
however harsh, it has a purpose.
I'd rather have the time well spent with a good friend;
a two-week lover is unrealistic
and altogether worthless.
If the choice bestowed by your actions remains:
Enjoy the weeks here without me:
from this visit, I have nothing to gain.

We are young and this is not our doing.
The nature of our minds, still developing and growing;
Like that terrible creation tugging at the sides
of the sanity we structure, but fail to abide.
Is it guilty to do what we must to preserve our own futures
at the cost of one?
What was done was in good fun and its consequence shall be undone.
Let not this be an anchor on your breast.
Plant your seed in my garden; I will do the rest.
While you sleep, secure and sound
in your bed, mine is barred and bound.
These walls hold no comfort and now your presence
has lost its zest for feelings, fun and pleasant.
This divided line stretched between two bodies
forebodes punishment; its beauty embodies
the strings so delicately holding together
a potential miracle in a distant future;
One we are not ready to come.
What was done is done and the consequence shall be undone.
The aching is physical and steadily it grows.
Yours is an internal twisting of mental chaos that woes.
It is not a fair exchange of shared yet misplaced pains.
What one has lost the other gains.
But this is not a fair trade:
For me, for you, for anyone with this debt mistakenly made.

Inhale one puff;
Exhale some smoke.
Constrict your air with a mingled cough.
Overwhelm your lungs and begin to choke.
Relax for a moment.
Crack a smile.
Laugh compulsively at a funny joke.
Come home spent from long hard days and rest awhile.
Sip once..sip twice, then chug the rest.
You’re feeling good, but it could always get better.
Now that it’s better you could strive for best.
A sidestep becomes a stumble becomes a trip
Followed by a solid landing, a crash filled with pain;
Laughter turns to tears of agony tinged with a ****** lip
Carelessness becomes drowning shame by the extent that you’ve poisoned your brain.
This isn’t you!
A party becomes a crime scene,
With a survivor or two.
Maybe tomorrow will wipe the slate clean,
For every thought put into action
Will purge an equal reaction.
Be careful which plans you make,
Or else pay the toll on your life’s mistakes.

The moon’s luminous lighting replaced the sun’s piercing gleam
Flickering stars appear that remind me of strobe lights in a ballroom dream
Where everyone has a partner; all dashing knights and princesses
Adorned in armor, family crests, and pretty dazzling dresses.
A kiss and a bow a knight would gladly court his lady with
The pair is invincible as long as they are together
from this spark of love, they live happily ever after
Enchanted castles that promise to fulfill your deepest desire
Love’s iridescent reflections of beauty to admire
Lasting as long as forever in souls entwined
By say, magic, or enlightenment, or both combined.
Maybe love carries from life to life sowing
the seeds of dreams that yearned to be real
and so sparked the light that grew between two people, conceiving a deal
Of binding heart and soul
Thereby forever needing the other to make one whole.
But what about the lost souls that set out to find this other half?
Those that loved and lost it all and now they read about fairytales and laugh.
Ship these make-believe fantasies back to the sender
Or leave them with the offender that said to her,
“Things will be different, I promise.”
How many promises will be broken before her heart is?
In the end fairytales don’t really exist
Even the princess doesn’t always get the prince
Spells and eternal sleep can’t be cured with a kiss
Beauty isn’t locked in a tower with an evil mistress
Hardly anyone wears lace and frilly dresses
Happily ever after is ******* by impending death
Wishing upon a star takes a lot of breath
And for all that hope and relinquished control
It never granted a wish for a single soul
Jimminy Cricket never really stuck with it
Pinnochio got trapped in a fire and burned in its pit
All the tales are true, it doesn’t mean Disney’s sadistic
But he had a dream that the world neglected
When his spirit passed on from Earth, so went the gleam
Of a million heartfelt stories that once enchanted our childhood dreams.

Rest in peace willow of the nest
My condolences for such dreadfulness
I did not mean for the sun to neglect you
I did not mean for your leaves to abandon you

Forgive me, dear willow of the nest
Forsaken by all the living
****** by such dreary darkness.

Dear willow tree,
No longer will I burden thee
When your seeds begin to grow
I hope that you know
Your new life will intertwine with my death
And with my last breath I’ll curse you with my sorrow
You won’t see me tomorrow
Past the pain of now’s goodbyes
Please tell me why, oh why!

Dear willow of the nest
Do you think pondering such revenge is best?
Trade your soul in for new branches instead of
Sleeping in the maggots that fill your trunk bed

Meanwhile,
lingering upon the magic tops of neighboring trees are new seeds
They shall bring with them bold opportunities,
Their company shall bloom gardens
They shall dance in the wind while summoning a thousand pardons
For they shall not be the ones to fill your empty nest
That once carried in it a hopeful wish, at best.

Every last piece of me has dispersed into the universe
Never again shall they come together
Never again shall I be whole
You can grow old with your new endeavor
While I create art with my soul.

Goodbye, my beloved willow tree of the nest
You were a fantasy; a courter; a lover;
A whimsical romance, at best.

Forget the days we shared
Forget the smiles, the tears, the words too coarse to bear.
Forget the blooms in Spring dancing through the air
Forget the garden we abandoned there
Leave thorns of plenty, and roses rare

Forget the voice of a sweet melody
Forget the buzzing bees tending to honey
Forget the notion of you and me
Forget the spices in recipes spoilt
The taste is a bitter sweet result

Forget what weather we braved together
Forget the cliche that everything gets better
Forget what you want to remember
Forget what should be and what doesn't matter
Revoke your thoughts, the hypocrisy they flatter.

Forget waking up in warming arms,
Seducing me with your charms
Forget whatever you gave me, though it wasn't much
A breath, A kiss, A touch.
Enough!
Forget all that I've said
These thoughts turning in my head
Filling me with dread
The words I've written and you have read
Forget it!
Those days are over my mind is set
Forget we ever met.

My ****** heart runs deep
Pulsating rivers in my veins
that once nourished me before you came
and soaked up every drop
with nothing left to reap
while the flak of your memory still remains.

The day we met,
Temperate winds cradled leaves fresh from their vines,
unseasoned by nature’s trials.
Today,
they lie crumbled among debris
broken wilted pieces in scattered piles.

Carefree days that had no price
Oh how you yearned to woe me
Companion nights; they did suffice
Until troubled longing riled the sea

Did you sense the suspense?
Naked under the burrow
Of sullen sheets enveloped in scents,
stale and past

You: my daring knight of chivalry
Whose promise did not last
and so the wind said unto thee,
“set me free.”

Morning tastes dewy tears trickling into memories we hoped to never speak again
Shifting through the seasons
the beginning of the end

I willed my seeds to grow through the disdained soil they’ve rooted in.
Leaving them grimy rot staked in solace
Feelings left dead sprout a calm that quickly frames trust
What purpose serves a creation left abandoned in the dust?
Hear it. Speak it. See it as it comes.
In dreams they lay tiles under trodden feet.
Steps that cannot be taken up again
and so commends your defeat.

One day, in autumn or is it spring?
The anxious blossoms danced away in the wind.
You swept them up with swinging arms
Urging every pedal to descend
From weeping barren trees foiled from your charm
Words back then took form in a man
Working a path inside a woman’s heart
Mapping her wishes into works of art

Now lie down upon this mold
of every simple broken thing you ever tried to fix
It isn’t worth the truth you sold
To quell your nature with docility that shields arrogance with bricks.

When you returned sullied by days of wandering
Through decay and rotten secrets
I laid my head to rest in the crook of your neck
Sheltered by my need, unseen by your gaze
This moment of clarity, I locked inside my ****** heart
where it will rot and die through the passing days.