I am sad today
but what day am I not?
I am sad today tears are falling
but what day are they not?
I am sad today my armored heart bleeds
but what day does it not?
I am sad today crying does nothing
but what day does it?
I am sad today with no where turn.
I remember days there was somewhere.
I am sad today I am alone
but what days am I not?

demons encircle me in darkness
my heart try's to shine bright
these dark shadows follow me

my heart thunders as i struggle to breathe
you all live so innocently not seeing these demons that attack
these dark shadows harassing me at every turn

your all so innocent
so immature
do you not see these evil things working their way into my soul? me heart?

i envy you, your lives
not a care in the world a mommy and a daddy who care
not needing to grow up unlike me

these demons threaten me everyday
they drink the happiness from my body
feeding from me

exercise these demons someone please
i beg of you rid them from my soul
but i know you cant

they live along beside me
attached to my soul forever
to rid them i must rid myself of this world.

these demons will always be in control.......

here
where my soul dies
here
where my eyes cry
here
where i take the blame
here
where you break cries from my throat
here
where i wish i could fly or float
here
where my personal hell resides
here
where my suffering has bagan
here
where i hope the suffereing will end
here
where the hate surrounds me
here
where i call my home.

im at the bottom looking up
theres no promise of clear skys but god has my back
im gonna try
try harder than i ever have before
i have strong relationships and even stronger friends
im done waiting for my family to get stronger
its me its i who need to be strong to live the life i was meant to live
to breathe to let everything shine and not give a care
i need to heal.

Please chair swallow me
eat me whole
Drown out those around me
Soon it will all sink in
Tears will fight to fall
They all stare
Is something wrong
Please chair swallow me
Eat me whole
Hide me from these monsters
It has sunk in
The tears have fallen they have won
There knowing glances burn
Yet they know nothing
I have done no wrong
So swallow me chair
Eat me whole
Steal me from this judgemental world

they sleep in the streets we sleep in our beds
they starve we waste
some fought for our country
some took the wrong path
we laugh we make fun they cry they plead
they freeze while we cuddle by the fire
we think we are better but if we were good we would help them
we would save them
some have kids that die from lack of what we throw away
all the while we primp and cherish pets we dont even like
we eat from silver and china
they eat from the ground from what we throw away
we are cowards while they brave the world the night with no where to hide
we are the monsters of the world
they are less fortunate and we roll with laughter because the mistakes we could of made they taught us not to by making them first.