boys don't cry,
but they sob in their hearts.
barbie's skinny,
but she'll never tell you
bulimia is a *****.
there are things in this world
that we don't know.
just like how Jane didn't know her lover has a mad wife.
just like you didn't know jamie has dyslexia.
and how i don't know how to finish this poem.

"****** it, can you not be so condescending!!!!!"
"me?! you just always think you're the right one!!!"
...
marriage.
a decision made at a moment of impulse.
to tie your fate to another person,
and spending most of your time to make it work.
i thought love was to make the person happy.

it isn't.

it was about making the person make you happy.
the desire to have control over one another.
wrestling.
ultimately,
a game of power.
a game where you make someone bow before you.
meaningless lies and promises to gain trust.
"i'm sorry love. i'm so sorry. it's all my fault. let's not do it again."
just to break it again.
the cycle continues.
and we just wish that love will make this all work out.
but my dear,
love itself does not equal marriage.
and it will never.
I love you,
and i mean it.
can we not go on with this.

there is only 10 days left till my birthday.
don't tell me happy birthday.
i won't be happy on my birthday.

sometimes i scream so loud in my head
i go deaf
and the glass in my soul shatters
no one can listen in because i don't want them to
oh did i mention i laugh so much i cry sometimes
i have friends
but all that they're willing to believe
is a facade
because that's what they want to believe
they're too afraid to know what's in store
what's really in there
S
  C
    R
      E
       A
         M
           I
            N
             G
struggling to break free
and scratch with it's claws

i know i was sent away for boy problems
exactly 13,750 kilometres away from all the raw joy pain tears frustration infatuation
those sloppy kisses
you slipped through my lips and whispers of promises
as i cried out in pain when you said everything will be okay
never will i forget
you took the effort to squeeze through the sweaty foggy crowd
heineken in hand
you stuttered as you tried to shout over the vocalist.
dark hair and equally dark eyes.
i should've noticed the telltale
signs
of stay away.
miss you like how a girl addicted to heels would.
getting blisters and before they heal can't wait to get back into them again.
and repeat.
you left the sheet stained.
crimson in red.
you left for the shower
and before long i left for good.

dance baby,
i know how it hurts not to be loved
and how it is to love.
just keep dancing your heart out and neither of us can feel the pain
ashes to ashes
dust to dust

your love blankets me
Tries to keep me warm
But hey,
Didn't you realize,
It's summer already?
I'd be glad to say
i love sleeping naked.
Is it too inappropriate for you
To handle?
Your little girl,
Saying ****.