I didn't love you, but I knew you were broken; so I ripped out my heart for you.
It thundered in your chest; weeping like a martyr
Now all I do is echo.
Words ricochet like stray bullets in an iron lung.
I am breathing water now babe.
And I don't know how to stop saying sorry.
Im sorry that I pulled you out from the seas falling from your eyes.
Im sorry that I forgot to mention that I do not remember how to swim.
I am standing alone on this cliff, my love.
Perched on this shallow rift; wind whipping through my cotton sleeves.
Lacing I love yous and broken promises into all of the half stitched seams.
This emptiness, this empty space by my side is so mocking because your face is plastered into every blank space.
Each pause between the torrent of waves.
I didnt love you, but I lost my heart to you.
All I can do now is trudge through this rampant sea of apathy you left in its place.

you live every memory twice
The second time is always the hardest
taking a pocket knife
and carving yourself out of all the old pictures
scraping all of the ‘ands’ out from between her and I
itll be okay
you'll soon run out of memories to forget
the list of places with her voice will start to fade the echos of her smile will stop showing up on empty walls
youll be okay
keep flipping through your old photo album together
cut a line between you and her
turn the page
stop making empty spots in your heart for memories to never fill
close the book
end the chapter
there is nothing left for you but a stranger in places you’ve never been.

Maybe my heart burns because I can feel all of the bleach that you are pouring on me
Trying to scrub me of your memory
Like I was a stain on your life
A mark in your history you were trying to forget
You wrote I love you on a broken window with washable maker
And we expected it to survive the storm
We were like a house flooding from the foundation
Kitchen sink shower faucet
All running
Leaking regret over our eyes
While we stood still letting each other drown.
Our sheets tangled up in each other's bedrooms.
Leaving our hearts in each other's chest.
To emotionally invested to leave.
Even though this Broken home of a relationship was killing us.
A slow silent beautiful death.
Like the way the water made our pictures bleed.
Like our memories were weeping or each other.
Pulling out the ink.
Ripping out each and every piece of you out of my smile like teeth
like tearing off the photos of us from the walls of our home
Water up to our necks.
Shallow enough to convince us that we could still be okay
Water slips in our mouths.
Like all of the, I’m sorrys
All of the, I love you’s
It pours into our lungs
Knocking out the air in our chests.
Just like every fight ripped out our breath.
Floating in our personal ocean.
Encompassed with broken walls full of your face.
Full of all the waltzes of our words.
We are ghosts suspended in the memory of love.
Refusing to accept that we were floating in an ocean of things that we are incapable of breathing
Pictures and sheets.
Hearts and oxygen
Orbiting around us.
While we silently give up like the most beautiful tragedy.
Like a house slowly flooded.

I will always love you
Even when the day comes that I am clad in black for you
Somberly shuffling through the aisles to a funeral march
Trying to find an empty church pew
So I can cry to a god that I don’t believe in
Because they are all I have left
Imaginary friends
Because you left before you taught me how to be okay
I cant hear the way your voice sounds anymore
I can’t see the way your hair curled around your cheek
Or your crooked smile when you laughed too hard
I am losing you for a second time
So now I am screaming in my car alone at 3 am
Do you want roses or lilies
Do you want roses or lilies
Do you want roses or lilies
Maybe I will lay thistles on your grave instead
Because your love was the most beautiful thing I ever held
But it raked through my skin to my bones
It tore out my heart with its barbed wire words
The spines stabbing into my veins pumping in broken promises
Baby, Id rather be doing ****** again
Because at least when you overdose you actually die
But with you darling
You left me dancing in a permanent coma
You will never let me give up
You rip me back into consciousness the second I start to let go
Lacing my blood with another empty I love you
That curls into my skin like mercury
Or like lilies
Dependent on how dependent I am on you this relapse.
My words falling like knives
I can never manage to land on