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Dec 2010 · 771
For while we are apart
Charlie Sea Dec 2010
Still vocalizing, moving, our beings stay alive,
If we were to suffer or find pause,
Together we would not grow. Then, I should die.

Ode to our arms,
And open hands to call forward
If it’s been years, months, weeks,
What do you say, after so long?
So, begin, bring warmth
Like the first trickle of spring waters from the mountain,
We swam, watched, nourished, & grew
By it’s side, and seasonally it will freeze
And still be back.
So bodies hold, it’s natural to know.

I’m thankful for voice,
Our speech, diction, shared mannerisms
Carrying across the boarders, down coast, over streets
Even with the aid of electronic pigeons,
Still, I’m thankful
Because then, you’re almost near
We’ve said goodbye
But the very cement around us gained permanence
Of a forest, our promise grows,
Its words, that assures them of what to be.

Anticipation, want, delight
For just moonlight or raven wings
Swaying, swooping, falling
Upon my vision and past my hand
Still, in two senses I’m reminded
You are breathing, my lungs are swelling
Here, as if pulses still doubled
Wrapped in this ink & silver cloak.
Will never unravel, this thing time cannot ****.

I’ll sing praises,
Go everywhere to my altar,
All systems function, during this ode to “still”
For it’s now, I hold
Till you return.
Dec 2010 · 694
Cataloging
Charlie Sea Dec 2010
The trouble with my day,
Is I was thinking of you
When I woke up alone
Wondered where you slept and,
How awake and renewed
Treasuring embraces might feel.
And my tea is a dilemma
As I’ve broke the mug
From when my lips could touch yours
But I savor the warmth,
You’re on my mind,
Troubling.

We used to rant about school
And now couples pass me
I don’t care what that might be like,
If I held hands in school,
It wouldn’t be you.
That’s the problem.
Class always brings tangents,
But the only equation
I know,
Is i<3 u
Call me a nerd,
Though if I was smart,
A diligent geek,
I would’ve stayed out of this trouble.
Then,

In the last hours of my day,
I don’t want to watch the sunset
Because I always found the sky most beautiful
When the brightness didn’t hurt,
Reflected in your eyes.

The comfort of my day,
Is I was thinking about you
My sheets, wrapped in memories
Sharing promises over long distances
Comforting, my soul’s solid.
And the herbs like magic are moments
Alone, I was toasting my fortune,
I didn’t even know loving you was ahead of me.
Calming, I didn’t know.
Dec 2010 · 1.1k
A Little Awkward Poem.
Charlie Sea Dec 2010
We brushed into each other,
Excuse me, I don't want to be a bother,
Pacing & shuffling side to side
Don't mind me,
As my heart speeds up.
My hands will shake or sweat,
When, apologies, I touch yours
Placing fingertips on my hips,
Will you flick me aside
Or decide we're right, right here
Swallowing my tongue,
Dragged down by those butterflies,
Darted eyes wont say either
I didn't mean to seem pleased,
Tripping, trembling down this road,
When, was this an accident, your lips met mine.
Don't mind me,
Excuse me,
Apologies,
I'm falling a little for you.
Written, naively, after a few first dates gone well.
Sep 2010 · 561
2 am
Charlie Sea Sep 2010
And I should be in bed,
Not wanting to sit outside.
Shivering,
Soaking,
Slipping,
Further from sleep.
Tracing questions and thoughts
In the pavement
Below me,
That I shouldn't want
Beneath my feet.

Maybe if I was walking,
Moving
Would be getting by,
Making changes,
Making up my mind.
To walk away,
Not looking out my window
With surprise at the orange lights
I think, really, they're streetlamps
Bringing people home
But, I think they're candles,
Imagining lighting each one
Different prayers-
A hope
We'll be together.

I shouldn't be waking.
I shouldn't be writing.
Even to erase the lines,
Wondering about the depths of your eyes.
Not asking for the rain,
To feel cold enough
To need any arms
Anything
Anyone,
Not just your embrace,
To keep me warm.
I shouldn't be wanting
Anything but rest, alone.
Aug 2010 · 884
I'm sorry.
Charlie Sea Aug 2010
I'm sorry I didn't kiss you
                       didn't hold you
                                              your hands,
                                     kissing their smooth digits,
then praising the perfect symmetry your eyes found.
I'm sorry for every oppertunity.
I'm sorry it all piled up,
                                                 and we got lost.
I'm sorry I couldn't speak,
voicing every desire to help,
each protective urge,
each measure to go to.
I'm sorry I couldn't even cry.
       sorry for shutting down, as you slipped out of
                                                                                                      my life.
I'm sorry for being a problem,
I'm sorry for the fuss of giving up.
I'm not
        sorry for being on the street corner it started,
I'm sorry being here's a memory now.
Aug 2010 · 685
Nothing
Charlie Sea Aug 2010
The texts needed to be answered at 3 am and
The feeling after expressing held back tears,
after being awake long enough to run out of wants, needs, or ideas when the sun rises.
Her mother's opinion of an art career.
What to do once dumped.

The criticism of her performance,
the things still desired when surrounded by friends.
After the best surprise possible, the words to be said.
Her unhappy thoughts while swimming; clean, free, and away.
What the whole world meant,
compared to lying in his arms.

The silent space of comfort and neutrality in conversation,
and after the crush fades,
peace and acceptance of naive emotions passed.
What it's like to need,
Only comprehension, without action.

Emotions I could possibly hide from you, somewhere between it all.
May 2010 · 600
Crushed
Charlie Sea May 2010
Like trying to slip quietly through a house;
Don’t be disturbed and please don’t remark.
Small steps, not to wake even a mouse,
Slipping out a window into the dark,
Cautiously, I think of you- infatuated?
Or in this night, and others, is there more?
Do you too, and should I feel elated?
My heart (and feelings) - Like silencing a squeaking door.
This new chance flutters, and wishes to be stated,
So unsure, I’m moving on an eggshell floor
Love is a song with effort and guitar,
Maybe you’d hear it if I waited.
Until I feel free and right to explore,
While now the music would sound bizarre.
May 2010 · 571
Biography
Charlie Sea May 2010
You’ve held my hand, across grass, sand, all
And now, I could write with happenstances about sun shine
But, you held my heart across spring to fall.

With bricks & mortar from independence I should build a wall,
Put the reasons I should forget, all in a line.
(Be that as it may) You’ve held my hand, across grass, sand, all,

Clutching my pencil, fiddling, fumbling, I stall.
Maybe my dull sense will away, and I’ll be fine
But, you held my- heart, across spring to fall.

For now I’ll give up! I’m lacing boots in the hall,
I can’t go anywhere! Every encircling finds me at this pine
See, you held my hand across grass, sand, all.

In the moon, the shape of your eyes, by the shore, o enthralls
Pushing to the page, supplies unprepared, stories won’t even be mine.
And still, you held my heart across spring to fall.

Throwing pages, crossing out, crossing, erasing evidence of this thrall
I want them to pull close like curled embers, in a new design
You’ve held my hand across grass, sand, all
But, you held my heart across spring to fall.
May 2010 · 563
Possibilties
Charlie Sea May 2010
Flexing wings
Are they leathery or gleaming,
Fitting a cherub
Or a demon?
Stretching, ready to take flight

Offering transition,
Or leaving behind
Leading to choices
If belief is there

Watch them,

Wide & powerful
Scaly & dark
Unfolding
Belonging to what being?
One to accept with conviction
Or to fearfully withdraw from

Another contrasts,

Delicate & glimmering
Elegant & ornate
Fascinating
With a quiet flutter
Could be a fairy, must be heavenly
Only leading to glory
Stirring thoughts
Of nothing, but safety

Strange & tempting landscapes
From vast cliffs to lush fields
Which a paradise, where’s the desert lie?
Is each defined,
In it’s options?

Taking a leap
Allowing for learning
With every moment
A risk well calculated?
Or naivety soaring
False hope taking delightful turns
A surprise excitement
May 2010 · 1.1k
Sentiment
Charlie Sea May 2010
I’m sorry
I’m not sorry

I wish you were
Here,
The best,

If I could go back
And forget regret


Cloak
Of night
Moon drapes
And in light
Summer
On my face

Snatched phrases
Long
Powerful
Monologues

Or my mind’s film reel

Mermaids

Savoring the tempest
Begging for sand

Sound slips
As dust in wind
And theater curtains

Framing cynic
Tragedy
Comedy
Irony
Serendipity
In a pulse

Taking leaps
Brooms
Hovercraft
Soft lips

Anyone
Just one
Somebody

I’m tired
I’m awake

Breathe
Remember to
May 2010 · 954
Star Gazing
Charlie Sea May 2010
First kiss
Hands brushing
Shedding layers,
At beaches,
Behind closed doors,
In cabin rooms

How’s anything holding on?

No college will ask,
How soft were her lips,
How protective his hand,
Why,
What,
What next?
My mother will never know,
And cannot punish
Without broken rules
Lacking a curfew
None will make or break
Job or audition

But
I look up

Rain freckles my nose
Or wind claws coat folds
Dry air holds my waits

Holes in the universe

Recording
It’s all there

To be visible some evenings
Clear next

First to appear,
The first time I loved
Or
Brightest to remain
When I said goodbye
May 2010 · 1.0k
The Tango
Charlie Sea May 2010
When I’m alone you grasp my hand
And set the tone
Darkened music, reflective thoughts,
You turn me away from anything else around me
The moods right for this melancholy tango
And you whirl me around for a while
Your sadistic steps lead my masochistic thoughts
Onward through this familiar downward spiral
I know it’s every twist and turn
It’s every pitfall, dip, back step
All the questions it elicits
I wonder what’ll happen when it’s over
What will follow?
What did I miss?
What more will be evoked?
Is this one more reminder?
And I don’t even need to bother wondering anymore
I know when you’ll be back
As soon as one day’s sun sets and I close my eyes
Again that song starts
Reminds me, prompts me
Then again I surrender
To the arms of loneliness
May 2010 · 490
Teenage encounters
Charlie Sea May 2010
A glance slips like a grain

Alone

What’s it worth?

Together

Passionate stares amount to everything



And it’s missed

Too late

Too late

Too much time spent

In wait

And now another listens

To those golden heartbeats



So close

He was

So now

It’s killing her

Like hands replace by a knife

If she’d known

How close

She’d hold him

If she’d known

Not to be afraid

Because anything that could’ve happened?

Couldn’t have been as devastating

As the end of waiting.



Closes their eyes

Letting fate up to anything

Now she holds herself and sways

“Just another lost chance...”

Another glance

“Slipped away...”

Another moment passed

Before the final dance
May 2010 · 653
This curse?
Charlie Sea May 2010
See her glances enchanting,
And rich scales set beautiful eyes,
Now who may breathe fire?

Long graceful neck,
The girl’s too,
Slender limbs,
Smooth,
Inviting
Even as a tail guards

Will hands caress you?
Their appearance neither coarse nor scarred
Never mind, other talons will tear
Like others pushed away

A fair maiden’s decidedly worth saving
Damsels are so often distressed,
Though, you see no tower?
Still, sword gleams!
And your armors match.

The dragon’s now slayed,
Yes I bid you to,
And she fell
May 2010 · 548
Tides
Charlie Sea May 2010
Only, only looking at the sky
Just traced by the edges
Shifting out and in

Just
Just another mass of thoughts
Only wishing on everything
Wandering over chances

Spinning around
And sliding by
A quiet
Unanswered called
Shaded in the moments
Of tear causing beauty

Only here for a moment
Only, before it’s all too much

Until the edges become a line
Turning everything in its tides

Hoping for one
Through it all to find conclusion
Breathing in salt sprayed possibilities
May 2010 · 588
To Luna, who makes me cry
Charlie Sea May 2010
Hazy crescent,
Fueled in memories
Sunny days,
Beaches we kissed
Streets & hugging
Bottles, hammocks, work over
Nothing left
Irredeemable
Retrievable,
Only through shining down.

Where are your lips now?
Locked with others
As pale light
Remembers both of others

The stocky brown dog
Following my spring
And children still on skates with hockey sticks
Cars will doubtless roll on,
Not slower
As their existence in our life wanes

And if I traveled back
Would I find myself in the same shade,
Looking over?
Surely
He’d relax elsewhere

Silver light watches
In solitary moments,
Nostalgia becomes my character,
I stare at the sky
Then look away
As I did,
Feeling too shy,
As your eyes regarded me
May 2010 · 531
Us. And I miss this.
Charlie Sea May 2010
Twirling a lunatic’s tightrope
Strangely close
They all pass through
Performing paradox
Nothing left but to linger

Blindly drawing close
Tracing, finding hope
Delicate surfaces
Further leading
On
Ready to slip away

And the waves, over the moon, around our world all blurred at the edges.
Breaks to other brushes
And I shuddered,
Oh we did. Enough to fall
And away.
May 2010 · 533
Walking
Charlie Sea May 2010
Run  
             Go

Strut
             Skip
     Move
               Slide

Glide

                  Slip

One leg

               Two leg

Just get there
Carry sorrow without slowing
Mourning with going
Just life on and on

Shuffle through the crowds
Emotions flattened on their backs
Just trudge through
With that restless wind inside your head

Flush it out burn it off run away
It’s all in movement day by day

As the world passes

We skip glasses

Emotions blurred, guesses inferred, care dropped in baskets

Flat life flat colour dull world

It’s just easier to walk on
             easier to get by
May 2010 · 519
What happened?
Charlie Sea May 2010
Fall in love with me if you can. Fall in love with me. You can love me. You can love. You can with me. If you love me. Fall with me. Love me. Love.

It was all I wanted, yours if you wanted
But over time we all seem to forget things…

Fell out of love with me, you did what I thought you couldn’t. Fell out of love with me. You couldn’t love me. You couldn’t love. You couldn’t with me. You did love me. Fell with me. You did. Love
May 2010 · 547
All I ask
Charlie Sea May 2010
At surface, ripples and washes in and away.
Desires, wishes, requirements,
Some in a murky deep, secrets weighing down,
Some float, light enough, shallow enough to match the surface
But few can’t escape, held somewhere farther,
And in this nadir, unchanged is all I need.

With just a single frame she’s alone,
But a picture’s thousand words
Tell, look closer it calls.
Not to walk a crowded street, longing for a home, and
Just pleads to know
Just the reassurance of knowing.
Could be salient, could be striking but obliterate a frame,
And she’s there, with all I want.

A dove warbles one lonely soliloquy, to the ebony
Sky, could be an only friend
Or nights could keep her.
Either way, with warmed wings
Soaring,
If it could stay forever.
Flying, a weighted soul released
Letting go of
All I ask,
Flickers through a space.
Mind, that’s how it’s known
Behind it lurks in organs of a soul
As the heart would pump blood, and bleed for someone
What as the head functions?
In that space so trivial
Distance between lovers and friends
Both the desire, the without
An outstretched hand to,
Never let go
To love you
Is all I ask.

— The End —