Charlie Hazels

Charlie Hazels May 2014

Untitled

When you stood in line
Clicked your heels and marched
Did you ever think that this would happen

When you ate your spongy bread
Drank coffee made from mud
Did you ever think that this would happen

When you stood there for days
Gangrene setting in
Did you ever think that this would happen

When you finally got the order
Nervous whispers all around
Did you ever think that this would happen

When you leapt over the barrier running like hell
Surrounded by friends dying
Did you ever think that this would happen

When you hit the floor to avoid a bomb
And held your breath as you lay sinking in the bog
Did you ever think that this would happen

When you hurdled barbed wire and corpses
Almost reaching the goal before being shot in the shoulder
Did you ever think that this would happen

When youre in your chair and the trauma returns
As you watch your grandson play soldiers
Did you ever think that this would happen
That it would be so bad?

This is a memorial to those who have survived a war, being left alone to deal with the trauma.

Charlie Hazels May 2014

Imagined You

I imagined you
Daydreamed you
All of you
Your beautious wonder
Your faults

I looked at you and you were the same
As I imagined you
I saw the real you

But in my head you
Kissed me

Charlie Hazels May 2014

Please talk

Since that day you aren't allowed out.
So how can we talk to fix this?
Since that day I'm full of guilt.
So how do I click that send button?
I just want to talk.

Charlie Hazels May 2014

Last

They said it couldn't last between two so similar.
The way we both dream in space before crashing back on earth.
We both like the same things- music, books, we even both want a dragon.
We both hide our secrets behind a personality wall.

They said it couldn't last between two so different.
How I love sports- to be free, running, in the air.
How you can show emotion with shapes on a page.
Your attitude shields you- my knowledge protects me.

They said it couldn't last between the two of us.
In this 'accepting' society we would get hell.
Where a mistranslated book led to years of suffering.
Neither would want to see the other destroyed.

They said it couldn't last between two so fragile.
When I told you I loved you, and you said you loved me too.
As we sat there you cried, and I shook with fear.
But that day will pass and we can move on I hope.

They said it couldn't last between the two of us.
But how can it when it never began?

Charlie Hazels May 2014

Knitting thoughts

Why do they say knitting needles go 'click'?
It's more of a 'squeak', 'shuffle', 'tap', 'shuffle'.
Is it the same way that rain doesn't 'splash'?
It goes 'drop', 'plop', 'thud'.
These are the thoughts that rise to the top as I sit
And knit.

Thoughts aren't threads to be woven
They are patches to be stitched together- each one a new colour.
Grey is when my brain won't stop- the colour of school uniform.
White is when I'm scared and alone- an ethereal mist.
These are the thoughts that rise to the top as I sit
And knit.

Recently there's been a lot of green- warm and swirling like a gemstone.
It is like marble in its pattern, layers of shades overlapping.
That's what your patches are. And here I'm
Trying to not think of you but you rise to the top as I sit
And knit.

I notice a burnt orange- like lava bubbling over a cool skin.
That is quiet anger. Not at you.
Not at me for thinking of you.
At the one who thought I could stop.
It is impossible, especially when I don't want to stop as I sit
And knit.

Even as I tried to write a poem withought you.
I couldn't.
You're here again- and these are just the ones I wrote down.
All these thoughts of you rise to the top as i sit
And knit.

Someone thought I would be fixed if I didn't think of you. But that's not happening. I can't and won't stop. Love is so powerful it gives even the weakest of us courage. Even if its only enough to protest in silence