I know what you were expecting.

You can’t remember the last time you met my eyes.
I can’t remember the last time I believed a word
Out of my own mouth.

I shivered in the dark and you thought I was crying.

You held my hand in the car.
Just to keep me upright I was drunk and
Stumbling I was so ******* angry
At you and everyone else.

I forgot what listening to music alone felt like.

I forgot how we are the mistakes we make
More than the questions that come later.

The thought of flying alone makes me
Stick my hands in my front pockets
For hours.

Ticket; check.
Luggage; check.
Headphones to block the voices
Of strangers, I do not want
To know where you are going
Or what you are leaving.
I do not want to know how much more
Poignant your sorrow,
Your excitement.

I ride sound waves.

I ride the beats of
People I will never meet and
Forget those I have left behind forget
In a few short hours I will
Cry into my father’s arms I will
See the one face that makes
Me
Palms up and empty
Ready to touch railings again.

I thought about growing old without you
I thought about growing old and out of you.

I wished for a summer, but none came.

i would say
don't look at me
my insides are too ugly
but you'll look anyways
and find out for yourself
so instead of
cutting you off from myself
i will give you too much
inundated with information
i will leave you
engorged on who i am
and if you enjoy
the taste of my being
i know that i
will truly enjoy yours
but you won't get the morsels
of meat that lay deep within me
not unless
im sure you're the best
and even then
perhaps not
im well protected
not behind walls
of unyielding stone
but behind an always moving
horde of skilled horsemen
they are my sword
that i attack
and defend with
and they will not part
until all doubt is gone
whoever they split for
like the red sea
will be saluted
by them and by me

and she said she'd miss him,
in the smallest voice,
with sincerity that silenced
the world.

Some people,
no matter what you give them,
still want the moon.

The bread,
the salt,
white meat and dark,
still hungry.

The marriage bed
and the cradle,
still empty arms.

You give them land,
their own earth under their feet,
still they take to the roads

And water: dig them the deepest well,
still it’s not deep enough
to drink the moon from.

William Zanzinger killed poor Hattie Carroll
With a cane that he twirled around his diamond ring finger
At a Baltimore hotel society gath'rin'
And the cops were called in and his weapon took from him
As they rode him in custody down to the station
And booked William Zanzinger for first-degree ******
But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears
Take the rag away from your face
Now ain't the time for your tears

William Zanzinger, who at twenty-four years
Owns a tobacco farm of six hundred acres
With rich wealthy parents who provide and protect him
And high office relations in the politics of Maryland
Reacted to his deed with a shrug of his shoulders
And swear words and sneering, and his tongue it was snarling
In a matter of minutes on bail was out walking  
But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears
Take the rag away from your face
Now ain't the time for your tears

Hattie Carroll was a maid of the kitchen
She was fifty-one years old and gave birth to ten children
Who carried the dishes and took out the garbage
And never sat once at the head of the table
And didn't even talk to the people at the table
Who just cleaned up all the food from the table
And emptied the ashtrays on a whole other level
Got killed by a blow, lay slain by a cane
That sailed through the air and came down through the room
Doomed and determined to destroy all the gentle
And she never done nothing to William Zanzinger
But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears
Take the rag away from your face
Now ain't the time for your tears

In the courtroom of honor, the judge pounded his gavel
To show that all's equal and that the courts are on the level
And that the strings in the books ain't pulled and persuaded
And that even the nobles get properly handled
Once that the cops have chased after and caught 'em
And that the ladder of the law has no top and no bottom
Stared at the person who killed for no reason
Who just happened to be feelin' that way without warnin'
And he spoke through his cloak, most deep and distinguished
And handed out strongly, for penalty and repentance
William Zanzinger with a six-month sentence
Oh, but you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears
Bury the rag deep in your face
For now's the time for your tears