The other day at Sophia's house
I asked "I'm really happy right now"
there was a quiet moment and I said
"that's how I know something bad is going to happen"
Sure enough three days later
you changed your mind about me, about us
and I vowed to never be happy again

and I've had enough
of drunk boys telling me they love me
only to change their mind
during next day's hangover
of your late night texts asking to see me
and you telling me you didn't mean it the next day
of your eyes trailing me at work
of your jokes meant to make me smile
only to have you tear me apart hours later

I could sit in the classroom for six hours each day
and I will never properly learn how to love
or how to say goodbye
I will never learn how to touch another so gently
to show them I care
or how to let go when it's time
I will never learn what to say at 2 am
when there is nothing left to say

Right now my bed smells like you
soon that scent will fade
and I will have nothing left to remind
me of you

I feel nothing
yet I feel everything
every breath is like shards of glass
everything I touch is made of needles
but I still feel calm
I want to break every pen in the house
like I do at work when I'm mad at you
for not even saying hi because you think people can tell
what we've done together just by the looks we share
but soon there will be no more looks
no more breaking pens
you will no longer be here
you knew that from the beginning
yet you chose to take all I gave to you
chose to let me fall
"better to have loved and lost"
but this was not a fair loss
you knew from the start I would be the one to lose

For no reason at all
it feels taboo to write about you
not because of the things we've said and done
but because of the idea you might see this
and I am scared of what you'll think

Almost human
Still, not quite
Foolish, ignorant
Searching for something,
Anything

These words said
Late in the night
Every single night
Said by you,
Who tells everyone that you aren't over me

I don't see why my flaws are worse than yours:
Sociopathic, apathetic, trying so hard to be different
That you follow the same overused pattern
As every other "different" person out there

How could I be foolish?
You, the great wise man, fell for me
Maybe you aren't wise at all
It's just a facade, part of you so-called "cool"

Manipulative you called me
When I'm really just ambitious
Really just trying to make people see
I am worth something,
Anything

Did you ever stop to think
That you are the almost human?
That maybe, you should try feeling something
Instead of going about your life
Hiding behind your mask of "different"