There's nothing romantic
about true love fading,
there's nothing beautiful about
the memories we so passionately wrote
being harshly erased by the hands of time
and the feet of distance between us.

I will be lost in as sea of your past lovers
that made you drown in their affection,
but know that you were an oasis
in my desert of loneliness.

I've loved and lost,
but you were my gravity
and now I'm floating in a space
of confusion and nostalgia.

Please bring me back to Earth
and back to you.

I see myself in a bar on a Wednesday night
making love to a gin and tonic
with smeared lipstick and blurred vision.
I see myself selling my soul to typewriter dreams
and guitar chord nightmares,
praying somebody will just listen.

I see myself packing my bags in eleven minutes flat
and taking the 6:00 train to a neighboring town
before he even knows I left.
That night the walls will receive the bruises
that were specially saved for me.
I see myself smelling her perfume on his
couch pillows and wondering if I made a mistake.

I see myself joining the 27 club up in heaven,
and asking Janis Joplin how she did her hair
and sharing a drag with Kurt Cobain.
I am seventeen years old,
and I'm trying to make a path for my future,
but I'm scared I won't be able to take a single step.

I've never written a suicide note,

but I imagine it would be a love letter

that just had your name written over and over

until I run out of space and out of breath.

I wanted to collect your ocean tears
in a flask and get drunk on your misery.
I wanted to be the earthquakes that
deepened the fault lines in your heart.
I wanted to take your soul piece by piece
by means of soft hands and even softer lips.
I wanted to destroy you more than I wanted
to allow myself to love you,
but all you did was paint the galaxies in my palms,
giving me the universe when I didn’t
even deserve a chance.